Highway at Night

As we staring at the other side of the glass on the way to Perak, seeing the cars overtaking us, we somehow noticed the cars which were coming from the opposite direction always seem to be faster as compared to those hitting on the same road as us. Personally does not know the scientific explanation behind that particular phenomenon, but it somehow applies to our daily lifestyle in a way. How often do we look at the others and start telling ourselves how good they are and how terrible we are? How often do we actually look at our own strengths instead of comparing ourselves with the rest of the world based on our weaknesses? When we look at other people’s achievements, we may be comparing the levels between ours and theirs, instead of judging our own doings from the view of third party and see how far we’ve strike since the last accomplishment. Just like when we are travelling at the highway, we see cars from the opposite direction to be faster but visible, that we always seem to be taking note of other people’s speed in moving towards their own destination. However, we often find the cars which are heading down the same road as us to be slow, though less visible, that we always seem to be forgetting of our own achievement and speed towards our goal. Perhaps it is time for a change, to have a look at our strengths instead of other people’s and compare with ourselves instead of others.

Within & Outside the Box

Attended Buddhist camp days ago, in which changed the previous impression towards Buddhism activities. As always, they have been emphasizing on thinking out of the box, to take note of the words spoken and to find a way out by creating one apart from the rules given, et cetera. And as always, most people tend to be out of the box whenever a game is held or a task is given, to the point of negotiating with the facilitators that we’re simply playing along, to think outside the box. Ironically, when we tend to go outside the box instead of the opposite all the time, we’re actually trapped within the box already, without us knowing. It is about the same as the concept that when we hang on to something too much, we may eventually lose ourselves somewhere. There is no boundary to the knowledge we obtained, because there are the many things which are yet to be discovered down the journey of life. Therefore, the box we’re keeping ourselves in is simply smaller than the box in which we’re supposed to get into in order to solve a certain task. In another words, when we are asked to think outside the box, we are simply stepping into a bigger box instead of outside the box. Perhaps some people may not agree to this, but personally it does make sense. When we are so focus on a question, we tend to not remember to step outside the box and complete the task from another angle; nevertheless, when we are concentrating on thinking outside the box, we are actually keeping ourselves in, limiting our ways in overcoming an obstacle, in a way.

                          

Sincere Apology

It seldom comes across the mind on how often we may have hurt a person’s feelings, especially those who we are close with by the most insignificant words we’ve spoken. There are times when one might be telling how much he knows this particular person including the thoughts and emotions, nevertheless, it is undeniable that sometimes, we just don’t. Perhaps some may have taken it as one of the very few criteria to become a good friend, that they should know what to say and what not to, when to say and when not to. Still, we don’t read minds. Our perspectives may collide and our emotions may be the same at that very moment, in which then strengthens the bond in between. However, when we have contradicting ideas and cognitive states, we might even feel vulnerable and find ourselves idiotic for not noticing how much sorrow we have caused to that particular person we care, to the point of giving up perhaps. We may choose not to disturb him on the name of giving him some time to forgive our mistakes, but sometimes the truth is, we are the ones who cannot forgive ourselves instead. The guilt comes from the bottom of the heart and non-stop blaming ourselves for not being sensitive enough to understand a person, though it is highly unlikely to actually understand one human being both in and out. How often do we not speak to the person we’re too ashamed to face and wait for him to approach us first, indicating him forgiving us? How often do we not feel heartbroken and helpless thinking of the possibilities that we may have just broken the friendship built? I’m terribly sorry.

Scars

Talking about attribution on the reasons which may have caused our behavior and the psychological defense mechanism such as projection and substitution, we know best what we do when we are coming across unpleasant stimuli just so to make us feel whole lot better. Every little incident has its impact onto our feelings, does not matter whether it is in a good way or bad. From time to time we are hurt by the words spoken or the message delivered, where our hearts sink and not know what or how to react for the first few seconds, then back to the reality and start wondering what we should do or should have done. Rewind our memories few years back, we start comparing how the same particular person has treated us before and after, where we will then comment on how silly and stupid it was, though it may seem to be heart-warming and joyous back then. Once read a story that a heart covers in scars is one true beauty as compared to the ones without any scratches at all. Nevertheless, personally find it hard to have one soul that is fine as though it is still new to this world and yet to experience different kinds of obstacles ahead. Perhaps we are made to forgive and not forget, or we simply do not forgive as long as we still remember the incident which occurred, not to mention we sometimes enhance our memories just so it fits onto our perspectives and our perspectives only. Perhaps we simply not wish to admit how we prone to recall the less pleasant memories on how the others have treated us and how often we have the urge to have our revenge by telling ourselves that particular person does not worth our friendship. Perhaps we are like any other wounded beings, dislike people showing up and faking a smile on the face while telling us everything is as good as it used to be when it is not. Perhaps we just want to have a peace at mind, repressing the unpleasant emotions and thoughts, though it is just for the few minutes from our lives.

Missing Links

There are times when we feel connected to somebody yet knowing the missing link in between is somehow impossible to be overcome, hence hoping to find out more, There are the moments where we are told the little detail or information in which may or may not surprise us, as we are pleased to find ourselves trustworthy enough to have the honour in connecting the missing links altogether. When the particular person or group interests us, we may wish to associate with them frequently, to be part of their world in terms of sharing emotions and if possible, to be involved in every event they’re in instead of knowing their life more through photos and words in the net or through letters. This may sound like an obsession but there are the points in life where some of us would feel such a way, depending on our status and cognitive state. It is natural not able to be completely involved in a person’s life, literally. Nevertheless, the little curiosity in us grows as we ask more and more questions, leading us to nowhere. We may never stop wondering why and in the same time, we can’t help but to feel lonely and helpless, even to the point where we need somebody to slap us awake and tell us to snap out of it. Perhaps it is when we are emotionally unstable that we wish to know more about what the others are up to in seek of the similarities and memories we once shared. Perhaps it is one of our very few methods to show how much we care and that the bond between us exists still though we may be miles apart. Perhaps it is our curiosity in nature to get hold of the missing links in between stories and photos just so we can form the entire picture in which we have missed. Perhaps we’re simply doing it for the fun of it in the name of social manner and to have the time slipping through our fingers even faster. Missing links are everywhere, but it is a decision to be made whether to search for it or leave it aside. Collecting and connecting the missing links can also be as meaningful or, as worse as intruding a person’s life against his will in which causes annoyance and affecting the strength of the bond in between.

Twinkling Darkness

There was this night days ago, as we were staring into the dark with one or two stars trying to lit up the sky, it came across the mind how we often amazed by the twinkles during the night and rarely appreciate the beauty of darkness. Perhaps it carries the uncertainty and mystery that we have learned not to cross the borderline and seek for its other identity which we not know of. Perhaps we are simply afraid of the world where there is no element of light in which able to direct us. Perhaps we have heard far too many stories on how the darkness can take us to the bottomless pit where we would suffer and not wish to have lived, that we dare not take a step further than everyone else. If we put aside the particular stereotype towards darkest night, in which it does not necessarily mean harm all the time, then perhaps we may discover something new. If we are not overly dependent o the light which would shine through the darkness and see it through, then perhaps we will no longer define darkness as darkness. There are the town and cities which beautify their areas using various types of light in order to stand out when the sun retreats to the other side of the world. There are the people who make use of the lights and create different eye catching presentation for particular products to ensure their market price. Many have acquired the knowledge in judging how wonderful the little twinkles can be and make full use of its effect on people and on any other living organisms, nevertheless, only handful of beings who know how to be amazed by the beauty of  darkness alone. Just once, maybe, when we put everything aside including all beliefs and perspectives then look at the darkness, we may learn what we may not have and perhaps for the very first time we may look at the art of Nature of such in a different way, amazed and thrilled by its beauty.

Roller Skating

How often do we fall down as we grow older each passing day? We have learned to balance ourselves even at the falling edge, trying our very best not to make a fool out of ourselves by letting such incident taking place. We have learned not to fall easily as we were taught to do so and that it is a child’s right to fall, not us who have already gone beyond that particular borderline. Back in the older days as we were trying to walk on both our feet, we fell, we stood up and we tried again. For those who have hopped on a bicycle and started their journey few blocks away from home, we fell from our seats and got back on our feet with the family members cheering at the side. Sometimes with the tears rolling down the cheek, people from the surrounding comforted us and kept us going, up till today. However, what we are able to see now is less visible, for our expectation for consoling and comfort has been changed as time takes away the little innocence in us minute by minute, one incident after another. We stay strong to ensure our survival, we act tough to be what we have always wanted to be though there are the times when we are feeling weak and we hide our weaknesses by climbing over one obstacle and the ones which follow. We try not to fall to the point where we have forgotten how it actually feels like to be hurt, not in the sense of breaking away from relationships, but the actual fall which takes away what we have neglected after years of swimming in the red ocean. Until the very day where we fall down again and again, we will then recall the memories and pain which we have been through by experiencing the impact applies onto us, perhaps even to the point where we fail to acknowledge the pain and start tearing, not trying our might to overcome it, just like the older days.

Shooting Stars

The first shooting star which came across my life was few years back during one of the relaxing camps we had with the juniors. It lasted for seconds but the image remains in the heart up till today, whereby it crossed the dark, leaving its traces among the stars, Beautiful as it has always known to be, it carries information which brings sorrow to particular people as well, for its fall represents the end of an influential person, the shining star which used to brighten up the sky in the absence of the source of light, where no other stars can compare with its might. We are told to make a wish whenever a shooting star shows up in sight, simply because such happening is rare enough that many take it as special and reckon whoever sees it as lucky. Stars are fascinating but they take away a person’s breath only when there is whole bunch of them instead of just one or two, unlike the fallen star in which is capable of doing so alone, with the little friction across the planet. Perhaps it is when we do not have the friction to fire up and work towards the wonderful life that we require many others in helping us to shine. Perhaps it is when we choose to associate with the particular elements such as strong will and determination that we are able to cut across the darkest night, leaving our traces in the hearts of many. Perhaps it is when we decided or just so happened to be facing our mistakes which have brought us down that we have an unique way to reflect the light source to areas in need, including our very own souls. At times we prefer to be the ordinary stars and not the shooting star, as its beauty can be seen once and only once as compared to the others. Nevertheless, we are the star itself and it is the matter of time that we will shine as bright as the shooting star, someday, somehow.

Orchestra

Went through another firsthand experience just yesterday in KLCC at one of the MPO events playing the piece “In the Sea”; it was fascinating and certainly, breathtaking in a way. Orchestra has been giving the impression of “one instructs, others play along” and it seems to be slightly luxurious to be an entertainment, just like any of the movies and in anime; talk about stereotype. As the man raised his hands in the air and the music started echoing in the room, there was a form of sensation and somehow, we automatically had our eyes closed and so to enjoy the performance they were bringing to us. Perhaps it was just me that I tend to seek for one focus point and search the origin of one particular fragment played by the particular instrument when the eyes are wide opened. Perhaps it is just us that we simply want to find one perfect spot in which we are comfortable with, be it when we are conscious or shutting our visions away from the outside world by closing the eyes. For example, we would choose one focus point when we are to daydream and stare into the air doing nothing but we do not usually stare at some random stranger’s face and stone. If we ever do, I bet the person will be uncomfortable in return and wondering why. As we were enjoying the music and following the rhythm played, the waves of notes produced by the various instruments took us deep down to a different world whereby it is surrounded by water, divided into light and darkness. It was amazing, and still is, to actually feel the elements presented by the performers using their skills and teamwork; peace, mysterious and possible dangers. One instrument may be able to play a good piece of music, but with the combination of many other musical instruments, a greater art is produced in which able to steal our hearts and take our breaths away. Recalling the time when the frequency slowly dies away to the moment where every movement is stopped at instant, the heartbeat stopped for second and followed by applauses storming the area.

撕破脸

礼貌上，即使心中抱有不满，我们也尽可能保持面部的笑容，直至超越固定的界限方出声表态。或许是先前所发生的某项事件让自己无法长久性的忍气吞声以实行所谓“君子能忍人所不能”之道。或许环境的改变所引起的评语早已在心中种下不耐烦之根源，进而学得回应某些不动听的言语。或许这无非是人生中的变换之一，“领悟”了分享所能给予的解脱与快感，甚至乎达到无恼一身轻的境界。近来时而回想过去的一切，让记忆的假象逐渐吞噬所有的思绪，只剩躯殻在这世尘间接受时间带来的洗礼。即使我们不与某些人物来个正面冲突，然而并不拒绝其中间接撕破脸的可能性。“局中者迷，旁观者清”此言确实有固定的可信度。在我们含沙射影，不断讽刺被锁定的目标时，双方之间其实早已筑起不满之桥梁。试问有谁能闻此火药味而装作不懂呢？当双方各持有自己对事态的见解且不肯相让之时，不欢而散的结局乃是家常便饭。也许过去有过去的美好，也许撕破脸会更有快感，也许是时候再次回到从前了。

Chain Mail

Received some message the other day, the typical ‘bad luck would come upon you if you do no forward this’ type of chain mail. I removed the part in which relates to bad luck and forwarded it back to that person who sent it over; it seemed to be a must to do at that moment because the message was actually built on friendship. Surprisingly, or maybe not, the friend was thankful because the message is no longer a chain mail with dark curse. Sounded surprised and relieved in his replied message, he no longer has to be bounded by the bad luck chain. I am amazed by the number of people who actually forward chain mails as such, hoping that they can break the so called bad luck chain, or to be granted the luck in pursuing happiness, in the form of relationship especially. Perhaps it is simply the psychological ‘beliefs’ and ‘needs’, whereby one short message is more than enough in bringing a person high up in the sky or, down to the burning hell. Perhaps one does not have self confidence, in which he believes the messages received are good enough in destroying the empire he has built, be it on academic or social achievements. Perhaps it is merely the hope many have accounted for; hoping everything will be better by one click, hoping the unpleasant emotions and incidents would be erased simply by pressing the ‘send’ button, hoping to be bad-luck-proof. Nevertheless, one may tend to miss the point that, it isn’t that difficult in achieving something good, it isn’t that hard in pleasing ourselves and it is not impossible to eliminate the unpleasant. At times all we have to do is taking the steps required, even as simple as pressing a different button. Delete the message if we do not wish to be haunted by those insignificant chain mails as compared to the things we are to accomplish in life; look at the matter from a different angle, because the scenery may be even greater than we can ever imagined; last but not least, tell ourselves that we worth more than what people think we are. We are not required to be chained by idiotic messages like ‘you will be lonely forever if this is not passed on’, we are not born to be restricted by simple chain mail in which delivers bad luck as stated and, we are not here for the sake of sending the chain to someone else hoping to end it once and for all. You know what? All it takes is, we ourselves not forwarding it to anybody and that’s it, the chain has been broken. Even if we wish to share the meaningful content which comes along with the chain messages, remove them because most of the recipients may take them seriously. No joke.

The Minority

Very often we define monsters as creatures with frightening appearances, or mostly refer to those who seem to be different from any other beings which we usually see. Perhaps we’ve gotten used to the fact, or probably the statement that we are the dominant species on Earth, well, at least we are from our point of view. Nonetheless, we’ve forgotten that there are still the many species exist out there, sharing the same planet as we do, the same universe as we are, or perhaps, of different universes too. We use the saying “majority wins” every now and then, but does that mean we have the right to ignore the minority? What’s our right to known the creature which does not share the common physical traits as we do a monster? What’s our right to call people who are different as abnormal? What’s our right to even label people according to our own preferences? The minority deserves to be heard. Perhaps it is about time to realize the fact that we may be the majority for now, but things change. The day will come when we’ll in turn be the minority. Not everyone has to do it our ways, and certainly, not everyone is born to please us at all time. We are all individuals, with the particular preferences and doings. If we ourselves do not like to be labeled as monsters or abnormal beings, what’s so different to those who are less dominant? We do make the decision on which path to take and which not to, but sometimes there are the choices which are not for us to make; say, the physical appearances. We are given the chances to act normal and live the normal life like everyone else, but that may not be what we’re comfortable with and desire most. We seek for comfort when we’re feeling insecure, but what about those who are less ‘fortunate’? Do they not deserve to be who they are? Do they deserve to be treated like aliens who do not share the same world as we do? Abnormality exists when we see ourselves as the top of the world, but do note that we may in turn be the abnormal ones from someone else’s view. It’s not wrong to be different, be it physical appearance or even sexual preference and it’s not right to refer ourselves as the dominant ones. Who knows one day the dominancy will no longer be ours, but to those who we currently label as the minority? 

Children's Voices

Have you ever the thought of ending your life at the age of 10, hoping the mother never gave birth to you? Have you ever wonder what your responsibility as a child is and hoping it’s not all about studies? Have you ever feel suffocated and trying hard to breath each day as you live? Our lifestyle has been improved as claimed, as we traded Mother Nature for more advanced technology and inventions. And as the requirements on comfortable lifestyle increases, a higher standard is then required in recruiting human resources, thus, the higher education level the better. This further leads to the pressure on both parents and children, where the parents don’t mind spending extra amount of money just so the kids can get into well-known educating buildings for a brighter future, and where the children’s responsibility then become study machine rather than enjoying their childhood before stepping into the real world in which more thoughts needed in every action and consideration. Very often we seek for the freedom to speak up our minds and thoughts, but how often do we consider in giving the children their right to share us theirs? There’s a reason to how a child may behave, be it in class or at home. Personally find it saddening when a child who does not complete his work is labeled as problematic, and labeling of such is then promoted to other children in the entire class, planting the impression of sitting with that particular child is a form of disgrace. How often do we go to the root of children’s mischievous behaviours? How often does it come across our mind that it may a sign of their disapproval on how we work things out for them? How often do we ask how they feel and what they want for the little few hours break after coming home from school at 4pm, with the homework piling up at one corner? Not all punishment works in disciplinary, but also the little reinforcement by rewarding them; not all children are as problematic as we think they are, but only when we’re willing to listen to what they’ve got to say about their lives. The concept of children not as stressful as adults may be wrong, at least, for the current society we’re in, it is no longer valid.

Single Idea for All

There are many grey areas when it comes to almost everything which relate to human behaviour and development, personalities and thoughts, since it is rather subjective and it varies from one perspective to another. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why dozens of researches have been done over and over again, yet not able to settle down with just one theory instead. Perhaps we are just too complicated to be studied and to be categorized under particular section, as changes taking place every now and then, with the little improvement or evolution if that’s what we wish to call it. Perhaps it is simply part of the curiosity and desire to know it all which drives us to achieve what we’ve already achieved in the current days, and wish for further achievement as the time goes. Some of us believe the results obtained in experiments are able to improve our lifestyles once we get hold of the information needed on how the world actually works; some on the other hand, find theories not as important as we think they are as practices and experiences are all we need to strike for a better life; some focus only on numbers because it is what everyone uses in daily life, regardless the education level or culture. Personally find it unlikely to have only 12 different types of people who exist in this world as the zodiac signs and horoscopes stated. Perhaps it simply eases people who are lost and not know who they are. Perhaps it functions as one kind of mental support by giving daily prophecy to those who believe in it and actually make it happen through actions without them consciously knowing. Similarly, one theory may not apply to all situations occurred because third variables do exist, does not matter we like it or not, and adaptation takes place in order to favour our situation at times.

Action Reaction

When force is applied, there will be the motion. When there is motivation, there will be action and improvement. Chemistry between inorganic is fixed, but not necessarily the chemistry between people. Perhaps this includes the decision we make, or maybe not. Nonetheless, action and reaction coexist, or perhaps we should say, they are linked to one and another. In other words, they are the chain reaction, in a way. How often do we hear people make fun of the freshmen under the name of revenge during orientation simply because the seniors did the same to them? How often do we see individuals take their friends as punching bags in a very unacceptable manner on the name of friendship when they find no where else to release their anger? We hold responsibilities on the actions taken and the thoughts which come across our minds, including the verbal expressions we make. Perhaps it is time we learn how to accept the upcoming circumstances due to the path chosen, to know when and how to put a stop to an act which we ourselves dislike and teach ourselves the fact that not everyone has to go through the experiences like we did, be they pleasant or not. Why do we even see the innocence as reason to our loss and failure when he is not? Why do we need to take it out on somebody and so he knows how we actually feel? We can figure a different way in easing our pain and heartache, because there will always be a different solution apart from our current ones, that is if we’re willing to open our hearts for more options. The chain is there; even one insignificant move will trigger the fire button, hence, the outcome. 

Crowning

We know the saying that everyone is beautiful in his own ways, regardless male or female. There are different definitions for such wonderful word, from inside out of a particular person. Looking at the beauty pageants on the screen as they move their bodies along with the rhythm being played, to outstand the crowd seems to be harder than people can ever imagined; how pity. The intention of entering hall of fame leads them not only to the world where gossips never end especially when one is at the top of the list, also the little self destruction in a way. Since when it has become a must to possess all ‘necessary’ skills in order to own that particular crown I wonder, from dancing to hosting a show, even the height matters. The old man says it is rather idiotic to be there just to let people make fun of them before they are to be crowned, if they can make it to the top that is. What’s the purpose of having a beauty contest in the first place really? To compete with others on how beautiful we are both inside out? Then again, how are they supposed to measure the inner beauty during a contest simply by asking questions? Indeed there are certain skills required when it comes to speaking and interacting with people, but still, answering one question would simply leave them the first impression instead of having them to understand us. Some people may see such crowning as the dream of all dreams, but it doesn’t really matter as compared to the crowning by people we love and care for; because they know us better and able to see the beauty hidden in us. We have the skills people may or may not possess and we have the insight others may or may not able to see. Appreciating our own abilities is the hardest of all, but doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be. Crowning is the most precious experience when it is given by the people who see us as dearest, and when we see them as one too. Beauty is subjective, but personally, we are beautiful when we are one.

Yes or No

Came across this topic during the conversation with a friend just the other day; making decision. What’s more to say? We are required to choose from time to time, to decide on the next move as we play the game of life and often come to a point where we are in dilemma, not knowing what to do next. I was told that most of the decisions I made were as simple as ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Come to think of it, isn’t that the way? Even if we are to choose in between two options, all we have to do is to say ‘yes’ to one and ‘no’ to another. Worse come to worst, we’ll just take the non-taken path as back up plan. Perhaps many would argue that it is to easier to say than to be done. Yes, we may have different considerations on the options presented in sight; nevertheless, after filtering the thoughts and concern, comparing the pros and cons, we would still come down to the one and only decision available, which is taking the best choice given and ignore the others. If we find this too easy and simple, then think again, why must we make things complicated when we can choose not to? Complicating the situations doesn’t help a person to be better in making decision, nor making him more mature looking and wise. On the contrary, it makes things worse, when we have too much thinking in our heads especially. 

Equalizing & Harmonizing

Perhaps this applies to particular groups only or those who have yet to undergo certain training. Some of us enjoy going karaoke, as we get to sing our hearts out and more so, to relax a little after work. We have a different way in singing and expressing ourselves, not to mention the differences in pitching and keys. Nevertheless, have we ever come across the time when we tend to change our key in order to ‘cope’ with the other friends who are singing along? Say, a friend starts off with a rather high-key and so the others follow, even though they would usually go for the lower-key. We equalize our pitching as the people around sing, sometimes. And similar cases do happen in our lives other than singing. How often do we tend to seek for opinions even when we already have something in mind on which decision to make? Yet, how often do we find ourselves even more confused and lost after hearing them out? At times we know what to do but not sure what the others would feel about it and so we ask, and when we do ask, we hesitate as we find our resolution to be slightly different from others, hence, the little change of plan; majority wins. Looking on the other side of singing, we have two or more individuals with different pitching come together as one and produce a great piece of music; in which usually known as, harmonizing. Putting such concept into real life situations; we can always take little information and experiences here and there, then compile them altogether for a better view on solving particular problems. Copy and paste is never a good way in making decisions because even though the problems may appear to be the same, doesn’t mean there’s only one way in fixing it. We may seek for opinions from the third party, with conditions; to clearly know our stand and not get all mixed up simply by listening to other voices. We take other perspectives into consideration, not changing ours just so to be the same; harmonize instead of equalizing.

潇洒

多少人诉说多少人因感情问题而导致自己情绪化，从而失落，觉得自己在世上已无人所疼惜。或许这不过是人生中的过程之一，然而也并非我们固定所要走的路。不能解决的问题本身就不是一道问题，也有问题无须我们伤透脑筋思索如何去解决，只需给它少许时间，问题也就自然而然的消失。不同的经历助我们于不同的领域或成长，随着脑部的发展，造就了我们的处事态度及人生观。学会放手和面对失去是必然，亦非一朝一夕所能达到的事项。得以控制情绪者并不同于失去情感，也不代表自己是一般的机械；足以潇洒放下并不意味着冷漠，只因它不过是减少痛楚的一步棋。“敢爱敢恨”，“拿得起，放得下”等词句何尝不是在告诉我们如何对自己好？不懂得珍惜我们的存在的人，相同的，我们也无需为他们付出过多的情感。失去是我们有朝一日必尝的痛苦，管它是精神粮食或寄托，当我们学会不过于依靠，或许，也是时候学习如何潇洒过生活了。艰难的使命不是不可能，而是在于自己本身的意志力。时间到了，不断的充电向前进吧！让我们一同潇洒积极面对人生。

Voices & Sounds

When we are emotionally down, nothing seems to be able to cheer us up anymore, does not matter how often we tell ourselves it is just a piece of cake or how often we say we have everything under control, including our emotions and thoughts. A friend once told it is close to impossible to lift up the spirit when we are down in the dumps, until we finally settle down and get over with our emotion flow. Voices in our heads take charge from time to time; when we’re choosing between two, when we’re left alone in the dark and even when we’re feeling depress over a great loss. And when that moment comes, comments from the third parties will more or less be ignored, because they don’t understand how we feel. Why? As simple as the fact that they are not who we are, or that they have not been through whatever we are going through. Comment comes in the forms of ideas, opinions and perspectives, but as to certain group of people, never it is entirely extracted from experiences, hence the ad hominen argument. A type of material fallacy it is, whereby an argument is replied by attacking that particular person’s characteristics or belief. Knowing a situation and understanding it are two different things, holding onto our stand and counter attacking are two distinct elements, listening and accepting opinions are definitely separated from each other. We know but it doesn’t mean we understand; we hold onto our belief but it doesn’t mean we counter attack any statements which are to be made; we listen but it doesn’t mean we accept the perspectives of third parties. Our original thoughts and strong will may not last us to the very end, as the sound in our heads rings and voices from our surroundings arises, putting us through confusion and doubts. Nevertheless, when we are to sit down and carefully select which belief we are to hold close to our hearts, in the meanwhile open up to many more voices outside, we may just find our way out of misery. “Science fiction leads science”, as quoted from psychology lecturer. Similarly, perspective leads humanity, depends on how we look at it. Faith may be fading off, but we can still get it back on, just like how we stand up once again after each fall. 

Possession Hierarchy

At times we notice how people do not like to have the same possession as many others, especially during certain occasions which may be the highlights of their lives; prom for instance. Preparation is crucial, as time is needed in hunting the unique outfit and so we wouldn’t bump into a different person who is wearing the same design as we are, hence the awkward moment. Personally have been through situations where a friend chose to order a different dish when he found out that the other friend was interested in the same dish as well, an acquaintance came complaining about some stranger wearing the same design as she was, though they are of different colours and another friend jokingly said, “How can he has the same car as mine?” Perhaps it is due to the reason that each and everyone of us wants and wishes to be unique, thus when there’s something in common in the form of dressing style or whatsoever between us and the third party, the built-in alarm automatically kicks in, telling us that we will soon be compared to a total stranger, in which we would usually say no to. Comparison is commonly practised during the interaction between individuals, and many find it essential in upgrading ourselves for the better, in which what we would call the competition in the current society. It is more or less like the hierarchy system, where by we would narrow down the listed items into few different categories judging from the general appearances to their particular functions; similarly, when the possessions are about the same, we would then further comparing their brand, price, place we purchased and the list goes on. Among university students, the tendency of comparing the number of assignments and word limitation is high and at highway, there are the people who modify their cars inside out as to show the difference. The thing is, unless we have our personal designers who will be in charged of our belongings and appearance from head to toe, not to mention they must have a total different concept towards life and who often think out of the box creating something new, otherwise, there will be the chances that we possess common items the others do.

Click

Some of us spend most of our time wondering where we belong, from society stand up to circle of friends involved. As we move from one section of life to another, we encounter various types of people, and as we try adapting to the new environments in which we caught ourselves in, we interact, communicate and bond with the individuals who we can barely recognize their faces. It is funny to see how the original group we're attached to in the first place turns out to be a different one at the very end of the day. Perhaps that is something similar to dipole moment in chemistry, where the temporary bond is formed between two as the opposite charges attract. For cases applying to human beings, such process continues even after we've established a perfect bonding with the parties around. There are different factors which are able to pull several individuals together as one and certainly, deviation does occur as the perspectives may vary; it might be due to the survival needs within a society, the curiosity and desires to understand each other better or perhaps, even the similarities and differences in various areas. Most of us would seek for the common interest as it plays a significant role in shortening the distance in between, some of us would take the chances in approaching an individual who is the total opposite of who we can be and at times we would just go with the flow, attach and detach ourselves from party to party according to the situation and the compatibility to click on. There is one interesting thought; the 'temporary forever' symptoms are shown when we get too attached to one particular group of people or even a person, as long as the time permits that is, and what do we do when it comes to a point in life where we must go on to a separate path? We move on, bringing only the ability to click with them again in the future as we reunite, hopefully.

长篇：开心记事簿

        将头发束起，他们带着背囊往山的另一头迈步前进。随着时间的流失，原先的一人旅途在路上与有缘相遇人士交流下，经已演变成今天的团体。一伙儿的目的地并非一致，然而却没改变他们结伴上路的念头，直至来到分道扬镳的路口，后分离。天下无不散之筵席，亦无不续之喜筵。唯有重逢，方能再续前缘；唯有谅解，方能放下心头包袱；唯有如此，方能继续向前迈进。

        人生中有数个十年，里头带有上万个抉择待他们取决，而每一个思绪、每一个决定皆能影响往后的日子。因而如此，途中更是路障重重，友情更得饱受考验，只因每一次的分离意味着无限期的再见。一路以来，他尝试学会珍惜；珍惜身边的陪伴，珍惜欢笑的瞬间，珍惜所有的一切，甚至乎把能让自己会心一笑的人事物记录下来，好让他日后慢慢回味幸福的滋味，即使那是不被常人看入眼里的小动作亦是如此。

        取自于他的小小开心记事簿：

        “她对我的了解超乎我的所知；在她说中自己心里一番话的刹那间，有股热量涌上心头，只差没将她拥入怀里感激她一路以来的支持与谅解。”

          朋友的定义因人而异，然而如此，每当有人能够叙说自己心中的那番话语，就足以取下肩上的重负，深觉世上果真有知己的存在，即使那人未能常期相伴，即使那人无时不忙于手头上的事物。只要在适当的时机说上适当的词句，一切难题都能迎刃而解；只要知道自己身边不乏支持者，再棘手的烦恼亦能被推翻；只因精神粮食的提神效力往往不输于普通的咖啡因。

          日常遭受忽视的援手在一人急需救助的时候将能发挥最大的效应，如簿中一载：

        “与友人有约，却临时无交通工具助自己行走。多亏身边的他不介意载送自己前往目的地，方能准时赴约。回头想想，他在身边担任听众一席已有一段日子，好比哥哥般照护，心中真是对他感到亏欠及感恩。”

          如教师所言，人总是活在自己的世界当中，任四周的人事物围绕着自己旋转，直至那么的一天与他们相碰擦出一定的火花，方知自己并非想象中的孤单，而那所谓的火花源至于不同的因素；上至友情，下至 一面之情，当中包括随缘的一臂之力。

          要一个人运用自己的常识以协助某人须有一定的无私，而此景更是难得。簿中有记一事：

        “看着他认真的神情助我改写程式上的排列，非但不介意我提出诸多要求，甚至乎忘食，让我感激不尽，带有歉意。当整个过程完工后，九个小时早已流水般消逝。”

          由知识转至常识，再由常识变至生活中的一部分，其中需要一定的能耐与坚持，因此所有的知识并不一致，每一个人也拥有不同的常识。当一人不限制使用自己的所知，在众人心中更是留下深刻印象，足以带走所谓的人情，种下不同的根，待不同的果。

          回神，他望向前方，一队人马早已停步，等待他回归队伍再继续他们的旅程。手搭在其中二人的肩膀，他连走带跳的将原先的思绪留下，笑盈盈的与同伴们出发走向未来，不时提醒自己珍惜每一个际遇、每一个微笑，好让怀中那本开心记事簿载有无数不同种类的幸福与喜悦。

Poem: Sound

Sound is of vibration,

creating musics, creating tones,

and little did we know,

it creates dreams and illusions,

where we explore and hunt for adventure,

as we fall and wake up from the sudden stroke.

Sound is of voices,

creating visions, creating goals.

And little did we find,

it creates confusion and insecurity,

where we go round and round the options given,

as we lose our heads and end up in the middle of nowhere.

Sound is of ideas,

creating individuals , creating perspectives,

and little did we see,

it creates disagreements and wars,

where we hold on to our stand and argue with dignity,

as we overcome dozens of obstacles and come to the ending point.

We dream, we confuse and we disagree,

as the voices in our heads ring,

but little did we realise,

it is all good to expect the best to come,

than to think of the worst case scenarios,

even when we are left alone by our own.

Taken over by illusions, insecurity and wars,

as the voices around us arise,

but little did we notice,

it is alright to have ourselves going through such stages,

than not experiencing anything at all,

and not know how a decision is made when an incident takes place.

When we can imagine tones of unbearable suffers and loss,

we can recall the sweet old memories rewarded to us by life.

When we are able to start a war between two,

we can put everything to rest without having to fight at all.

When we can open our ears to endless manipulating voices,

we can suppress the negative and unnecessary sound available to us.

Dreams as Excuses

Do you remember how we used to write about dreams back in primary school, starting from a very unusual day and incidents to the very common sentence which ends the ridiculous piece of essay saying “it was just a dream”? We are allowed to use our imagination to go wild, we’re asked to impress the marker by bringing them into our world and we have no limitations at all unless we forget to note that it was merely a dream. Even in the dream itself, some may have control over their own actions, making themselves fly high for instance, knocking down each and every single monster in sight as they know it is a dream, where they can even edit it as they wish, bringing in more people who they’re familiar with to join the forces. Some of us see dream as a place where stress does not exist, some find it too good to be true at times, some take it as a task which is soon to be achieved and some, simply see dream as dream. Nevertheless, we use dream as an excuse to a certain degree at times, for we know it is merely a dream that we take no responsibility over what is happening in there in our minds, hence the little take over and make things happen in the dream the way we wanted it to be, in which we find it less likely to take place in reality. In short, we are the kings in our heads, in our dreams, where we do as we like and make decision as we please. Remembering the time when my teacher brought up the topic on dream, saying we should never alter the essay title given, as many have written it in the form of dream instead of logical real life situation. Why? It is simply easier to conclude the essay.

Up in Air

Have you ever noticed how big difference between the handwriting on paper and on whiteboard is? Well, for those who are not in any professions which require them to write on vertical surface most of the time that is. As we were being trained to write at young age, we would always rest the side of our hand on the surface, for support purposes perhaps, for the sake of producing neater handwriting maybe, or probably, simple as making our lives easier. When it comes to a point in life where we are asked to write on vertical surface, we would somehow find it harder, as we’ve lost the support and hence, somehow, feeling insecure. Have you ever noticed how people tend to express their gratitude of being alive or after getting away from any unwanted injuries by kissing the ground the moment they got off from the car or plane? Over the past, Mother Earth Nature has somehow been transformed into a form of security in the hearts of many, for we’ve been living in her arms all this while, fulfilling our primary needs and explore the wonders as we wish. Down to Earth is an expression often used referring to those who are practical or humble, in this passage however, I wish to point out the fact that we are being tied down to Earth, depending on one’s personalities, that we seek for security most of the time, even the little acts are counted. Our heartbeat increases the moment we miss one step half way walking down the stairway, we rest the side of our hand on white board as we write and taken over by little paranoia when we find ourselves all alone, feeling being abandoned by the world that we care about most. The truth is, sometimes we really have to give everything a chance, even though it means we would be freaked out for our feet are not able to touch the ground, even though we would be left alone in certain situations which we have to face sooner or later and even though we are asked to put everything we’re familiar with aside before we’re able to take up the challenges ahead. There will be the time when we are supposed to be up in the air and not tied onto the ground, so why give away the opportunity which would give us a whole new perspecitve from a different angle when we can get hold of it and use it well?

Off The Pleasant Goes

When we receive something pleasant, we record it down along with the images in our conscious mind; which could be a gift, a word spoken or even an action carried out. We remember better if we relate one particular piece of information to a pleasant picture or even by creating an off-colour joke out of it as it is able to entertain us and make us laugh. We sing better when we put in our feelings and when we put ourselves into the situations as the lyric goes, where the little scenarios will be put on the screen inside our heads as though the history repeats itself again. Perhaps it is the happiness we’ve gained in the past which makes us not willing to let go whatever we are supposed to, perhaps it is the sincerity of the people around that we refuse to finish off the snacks which they got it for us as souvenirs or even a gift and perhaps it is just us not want to forget the little memorable events they’ve put us through and that we’resomebodyin someone’s heart after all. It is somehow ironic to see how we’re supposed to not pile up the titbits for a long period of time to the point it expires, hence losing everything we’ve wanted to keep all this while and yet, it happens; similar to how we manage our lives sometimes, which we tend to hold onto every single little happy moments we’ve had until the very day we’re supposed to let go so that it would ease our pain, and yet we don’t. Guess I should finish off the chocolates in my room and the ones in the kitchen which the old man brought home from Giant.

Happiness Over Anger

Most of us or maybe, some of us tend to have our happiness built on others’ sorrow and pain; even by seeing their angry faces, we may find it hilarious, at times. Movies with the little scenarios whereby the crucial body part of the male being kicked, with the audiences covering their mouths and the same organ as the character does, if there is any that is, as though they’re feeling the pain too, not forgetting the little giggling and laughter along the way. We have the funniest videos being uploaded to the web and put on the screen, which eventually attracts the attention of the crowd, hitting the targeted numbers of views, where the individuals will then nudge the people around and pass it on. It may be rude as we laugh, it might be inconsiderate as we imitate the same incidents which have already taken place and it would be taking more than just efforts to stop ourselves from hurting our stomachs due to over-exercising. Nevertheless, there would still be those who go up to a psychology student and say psychologists use what they’ve learned to earn a great deal of money by cheating the patients, and would simply get away from any further scolding with one simple sentence, “I’m just kidding.” It seems there’s a whole new definition on the word humor, a different way in creating a conversation between two or more; which is by teasing and criticizing, with the little insult and offend if necessary. Making the assumption that every one would see such jokes as jokes instead of offensive statements without considering the status and personalities of the listeners, the speakers thought they have everything under control when the fact is, they don’t. When they were being thrown the rotten tomatoes and eggs, then they realized how the meaning of one particular sentence actually differs from one individual to another. Still, there would be the people who tend to laugh at the angry faces and say, “You should really look into the mirror and see how funny your facial expression is.” It is frustrating when we’re telling them not to make assumption that one joke applies for all and the reply is, “I don’t make assumptions, I read signs.” Great, the sign on the angry faces is actually asking them to tell more insulting jokes, how smart.

Cracks & Foreign Particles

How often do we go through dilemma on which to believe and which not to? When it revolves around one person who has once betrayed our trust and another who seems to be the messenger especially. A crack which forms in between the bond affects the strength of bonding, which eventually causes disbelief and doubts, hence the little annoyance and for worse, the end of one relationship. How often do we have the urge to ask the party involved yet holding ourselves back as it may causes embarrassment and endless questions which we might find it hard to answer? The deformation of the connection and relationship in between may be irreversible at times, until the day when we finally able to overcome the fear and step forward in order to seek for the answers, so that one of our many mysteries can be solved and so we know what to do next. It is somehow ironic, as we’ve chosen not to believe what a person has told, as the trust is no longer there, yet when it comes to a point in life, we on the other hand wish for the reverse in time, back to the moments where we have someone to rely on, someone for us to share our little stories with, for we are in doubts whether to count on the third party so much that it may even prevent us from seeing the real truth using our rationality and senses. When there is a crack, there will be a chance for the little foreign particles to get in, thus the bigger crack would be formed in between, and it is our decision whether to remove them to prevent further damage on one particular relationship, which may sometimes resulting damages on the other, between us and the third parties instead. We want to know the truth, but it comes in different versions as we have our very own definition and point of view regarding one particular matter, as we are living in our own world. Perhaps it is a test given, whether we are to rely on the trust which has been formed from the many hours being spent together or the temporary trust resulting from the momentary disbelief due to the broken promises. Perhaps it is just us, making choices over and over again, till the day we are lost, and found, someday.

Imaginary Friend

For children at young age, there may be the slight possibility that they will have their very own imaginary friend, well, depends on the environment they’re in and personalities of course. Anyhow, this particular friend who exists in their heads may somehow be the reflection of their own, showing the sign of loneliness and desperate. Nevertheless, having imaginary friend is not children’s right to have, but also the adults; as we know, there are indeed people who talk to themselves, sometimes. To convey a message perhaps, there are those who would start mumbling on the spot as though they’re in a conversation with their subconscious, be it without knowing or simply an expression for the third party to take note of. To convince themselves perhaps, people ask questions over and over again, with their very own shadows, hoping to obtain the answers, when the rest of the world would simply be staring at them, wondering what’s going on in their heads. It is all in the mind perhaps, that we choose to ignore an issue by creating a similar situation where everything no longer fits in, or that we face the problems by telling ourselves there’s a need to express them and hence, the little conversation with another ‘us’ within us in front of the others and, us. Indeed we are not supposed to discriminate those who have imaginary friends or perhaps, another version of them in the subconscious, however, sometimes it’s plain irritating and even freaky when it is on purpose for the sake of attention and everything else that we can think of. As requested, my pappa's imaginary friend is an invisible pink unicorn locked in a taped brown box. XD

Victimization

We sometimes see ourselves as victims in certain occasions, to show that we’re not the ones at fault, hoping to hear sentences like, “oh my, seriously?” with the little things-happen-smile on the face, we would say, “It’s nothing really, I’m all over it.” In class, we may have people who often find teachers being prejudiced, hence the bad academic performances and there are those at work who see the boss simply not open-minded enough to accept what they have in mind for the company’s brighter future. Even in a relationship itself, who’s the one being dumped seems to be a very big issue, where the person who has made the decision of such is somehow equal to superior. Certainly, there will also be the parties who would declare themselves as victims, thanks to the ‘intrusion’ of another person who coexists or whatsoever reasons there may be. Reasons for doing so; people would know how much we’ve been through, or that we needed someone to provide psychological support and probably, simply for the sake of getting sympathy. Very often, we see comments such as “What happen?” “Are you alright?” whenever a person’s status has been changed from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’, showing their concern perhaps, that particular person would be treated in a way as though he is the person being dumped who needs consolation right away. Nevertheless, I don’t suppose anyone would go, “Oh, it’s nothing, I dumped her anyway,” now would it? Therefore, we see people who stop all questions from coming in further by saying, “things happen, let’s just move on,” or sometimes, not even notify the circles around until weeks or months later when the cat is finally out of the bag. Come to think of it, perhaps the way the circles react to such issues plays a significant role in the victimization we have in the current days. Well, things do happen and we do victimize ourselvse, from time to time.

Goals & Promises

Here goes, we make promises every now and then, be it on purpose or without realizing we just did, be it the significant or the opposite. Certainly, there will be those who fulfill every single word they’ve chosen and those who take it less serious, as it may be part of the courtship ‘plans’. Anyhow, promises are easy to make but not necessary able to be carried out, depends on the individuals whether they’re willing to set their hearts for it, not to mention there may be a form of pressure, well, compared to a goal that is. We have people who make promises to themselves, as though they are setting a boundary to what they’ve got to do and what they shouldn’t be, thus complain to the circles around how much hard time they’ve had because of that. Setting a goal on the other hand is more motivating than making a promise, for it gives us directions and not boundaries. Moreover, keeping a promise is different from achieving a goal, where the latter will somehow be a form of achievement to that particular person. It sounds weird if we are to see keeping promises an achievement really. Well, it is up to the individual which would keep them motivated better, but if we find it tiring to keep our words, perhaps it is time for a change, to set ourselves an achievable goal rather than empty promises and likewise.

Mind Shapers

Watched a video during tutorial regarding the persuasions in life, where there are 5 mind shapers which would be the brain frame, context, mind filter, social influence and belief; funny yet inspirational and true. That’s why they make sure the lights are reflected on the precious stones and the number 70% font size is bigger than the remaining 30% which we would be paying for. Since when piercing on the right ear represents homosexual and not the left? Since when it is a must to follow what most people would be doing anyway? Though we’re living in our own world with our very own definition towards life, there will be the time when each individual’s world collides, with the little universal psychological reaction and perhaps similar perspectives regarding certain situations or issues, in a way. For the past one week we’ve had a friend asking us why so serious during meals, unlike his university circle who would figure a way on how to make it fun by playing games; new influences, comparison and hence, the question. There were the hours when one is willing to stay up late in order to finish off the task so that there will be a smile on the face or perhaps, a favor can be returned, more or less. To see how influential and contagious an emotion can be, where the third parties would be aware of and start asking why, where that particular person would shake his head away and not answering them, where the atmosphere would somehow be affected and every one finds it hard to smile and be goofy like how they were moments ago. 5 factors to mind shaping and persuasion; how interesting.

Movie Ticket

Been through certain incidents which left their trademarks deep within for the past 10 days; from defending myself against hundreds stares down at random street to marrying two males at one go with ridiculous decoration on the head, from having sleepover at a friend’s place without pillow talk but only the online novel and restaurant city to psychology lecturer telling us soft toys are allowed during lessons. Memories which some may record them down by keeping them in the heart or writing it somewhere noticeable, or perhaps the opposite, where some may simply keep the objects with the stated date as proof to such wonderful happening, movie tickets for instance. It is amazing to see how people tend to treasure one little piece of paper and have it with them 24/7 as though it is the lucky charm, well, that is until its magic runs out some day, where we would find the so called proof no longer available as the printing has faded, leaving nothing behind but the image we then created during flash back. We refresh our memories every now and then with every day’s incidents taken place, with the new appearances we’ve met and befriended. Feeling alienated we could be, when we see the unknowns commenting on the group of people we’re once closed with and still are, bringing back the times when the bonds are still strong enough to hold on. A different movie ticket takes over the previous one, until the writing fades away, one day.

Tears to Gain & Loss

Though most of the time people would say that we shed tears only when we’re touched or simply because we care, I personally find it not entirely true. At times we cry not because of our love for a person, but for our own. How many have been through the situations where the tears are basically unstoppable when people start shouting and screaming right in our faces regarding some mistakes which are not ours who made in the first place? How many actually feel worthless and unappreciated when the so called lover or friend has betrayed our trust, where the sobbing continues knowing that we deserve better? How many have once lost in the middle of nowhere, loosing the focus on where we are heading and go through mental breakdown as we lose our confidence and self assurance? Have it ever come across our minds that it may not merely be the emotions for others which drive us to such, but the love over our loss? How many have been through the times when tears start flowing down as the sentences spoken keep ringing in our ears, telling us there is actually someone who knows us well exist on this planet? How many actually have the urge to hug the person right in front of us real tight where the little actions he took are so insignificant yet heart-warming? How many have once had the tears of joy as we know we’ve been forgiven when we know it is almost impossible? Have we ever thought it is simply because of us being thrilled, for we’ve gained what we’ve lost or something we’ve never thought we would possess? Perhaps it is a little pessimistic, whatever we wish to call it, but basically, we shed tears for our loss and gain, a sign of love for our very souls in a way instead of for others.

Expecting to Politics

The old man once told, that politic is unavoidable or perhaps, a must within a country, an association or even a group. Though personally have absolute no idea how, it seems to be one of the very few best ways to stabilize the little nations, well, at least that’s what certain people find it to be. There were the questions why it is essential and how it is taken place even within a school which is supposed to be a place where the students enjoy their high school life instead of being involved in the so called politics. It is the expectation, he says; a person who expects himself to gain power, to have the knowledge and to feel how it is like to be ahead of many others. Perhaps even a little child would have the wildest dream to be achieved in such way, should it be less complicated, or maybe not. There are the explanations that they’re simply working towards their aims, be they to learn from the best for the better or simply, to get onto a certain level where they are inapproachable by those who do not come in peace. Perhaps it is the place we stand which would determine the level of politics being involved. Perhaps it is our desires for a better future which decides whose future would be disturbed. Perhaps we are not looking at the facts that we are somehow involved in political issues around us, in a way.

True Smile

We smile, but it doesn’t mean we know how, as it may not be the one from the bottom of our hearts. How many of us would smile all we want, without giving a second thought to how the others might comment about us? How many would actually smile and not care about the fact that it may leave traces on our faces as time slipping through? How many would smile at some strangers passing by just to brighten up their day and not bother by the chances of others taking it as flirtatious? Read a book week ago, saying adults are the happier ones for they know how to solve their problems as time goes by and that the experiences and knowledge always come in handy, but personally find them less cheerful compared to many children who love and know how to smile. Certainly, it doesn’t mean everyone on Earth does not know how, but most of us. How often do we take smiling as a form of manners? How often do we not hide our feelings whenever we wish to smile? How often do we actually, truly smile? The answer lies in our hands, whether we would change for the brighter days or simply wonder why the others are smiling at us when there is the eye contact, like how we always would. There is no definition to a true smile really, because it is produced from the heart and not the mind.

Piano Piano

Went out with the usual gang the other day; dinner, movie and hanging out together. During the free hours in between, we went to the piano section, where they have this never ending sale since forever. As the two friends moved their fingers across the wonderful instrument, I found peace, in a way that I never thought I would be, whenever it involves music especially. Feeling amazed and touched by the way they played, by the music notes they brought to live, echoing around the area, I couldn’t help but to close my eyes and enjoyed the performances they brought to the night. All memories from the past reoccurred, as though I was going through them altogether again. From the day we first met and played the part as Maria(s) in the Sound of Music, from the moments where we started to treat each other more than just friends, from the time when we began to stand by each other’s side for both the best and the worst, I know this is the moment where I find friendships in another circle, among the people I’ve shared my Form 6 life with. It is not compulsory for us to see each other 24/7 and it is not a must for us to be side by side at all times, simply because our hearts are connected, forming the little connection in between which will never be broken even if we are separated by the ocean. We’ve left for our future, moving onto a separate path for our further achievements and here I am, being emotional while reviewing the videos taken along with the background music being played, dedicating this post to all my Form 6 friends out there. We are not alone, for now and ever. Till the day we shall meet again, take care.

Stepping Stones

Many of us refuse to be a stepping stone as we find it inappropriate in a way, worthless and inappreciative. Nevertheless, we do use stepping stone as we aim for our goals and achievements; a fact which cannot be denied. We are educated since young, be it formal or informal. As we grow, we move from one category to another, from kindergarten to primary, then secondary and the list goes on. Each time we sit for our major exams, we’re nervous and horrified waiting for our results to show, simply because they play a very important role in deciding our future, as told. Each time we surpass our capability and score in our papers, we’re being notified regarding the obstacles ahead in studies and that the previous academic achievement is nothing compared to the upcoming ones; hence, the saying of well achiever at young not necessary the well being in the old. The moment we step into the outside world, handing in our resume for a position in the company, they would first look at our latest academic achievement and not everything we have in our files, but without all the certificates from the past, we wouldn’t have the latest one which shows our highly achieved accomplishment. So, aren’t those the stepping stones of ours as we grow? We use stepping stones in academics, socializing and achievements, but to appreciate them or the other way round, it is up to each individual to decide, whether their pay is worth the price.

Holding On

Have you ever come across the moments where people tend to come back to the same question over and over again even though it is less significant compared to many others? Personally have made such mistake in a forum, or perhaps I should say, the very first time I notice such behavior of mine, of people in general. Could it be our focus which is wrongly placed? Could it be our determination of getting our questions answered? Could it be our will to prove our assumptions and guesses right? Sometimes we need reminders in order to recall our main purpose of asking questions and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we need people to tell us how meaningless our questions are even if they are answered and sometimes we just ignore the fact that they really do and try to cover them up. Perhaps it is just us who decided to ask every single question so that we do not have to use our brain to figure out every single little detail on our own. Perhaps it is just us who wanted to know more about one particular person or task and not showing how much we do not know. Perhaps it is simply just us who wanted to show off with what we have known to those we hope and assume they don’t. Sometimes holding on to a question does not mean everything will be solved in a blink of an eye, neither does it mean people wouldn’t notice how much we want to know nor it actually matters, for sometimes we just got to let it go and be freed.

Balancing

Went out for another drinking session just the other day and as always, we chatted and shared the little happenings taken place in our lives, with the boys talking about cars every now and then. That wasn’t the first time noticing how we tend to adjust ourselves according to the situation and the topics involved, to make sure we are on the same channel as others, with the similar experiences we’ve gone through or perhaps, sharing the better and more adventurous ones of ours. Probably with the intention of impressing others as we speak, to show how much we’ve been through compared to anyone else sitting on the same table, even though it may not be our very own experiences sometimes. Not to mention there are the moments where we wouldn’t mind bringing the others down to our levels by asking questions which may show how unadventurous and indifferent their experiences may be. Well, that’s just a fact which many deny. There’s a research shows, if everybody have their paycheck being raised up for 1% except for one person, his happiness would be reduced for about 33.33%. However, if that particular person has his own paycheck being raised for 1%, likewise, his happiness would be raised up for about 1% only. This shows how much we care for the others, on their achievements especially compared to ours. So, it wouldn’t be a surprise that we tend to balance ourselves as we move on from one topic to another, does not matter we are doing it for the sake of fitting in or to ensure that we are not easily surpass by the others. Oh well, just balancing.

Possible Desires

Can’t remember exactly when, where and why it came across my mind, linking the energy law to our daily life. We are the consumers of all categories, for all categories related; we purchase, we possess and we disown items as we move towards our future. Recalling the time when I was still working and managed to sell off two gambling sets which were about RM800 added up in total, happily showing off to the old man, where the excitement and joy were then put to an end as he speaks, “If the customers are not interested in purchasing the items right from the beginning, do you possibly think that they would actually buy it from you?” Ouch. Guess it’s true. We do not create energy, but to transform it from one phase to another and similarly, we do not plant or create the intention of purchasing one particular item in others, but to transform their very own intention into a greater desire, so much that they couldn’t resist the temptation, hence putting that item under their possession. It’s about the same as doing a bigger damage onto a cracked surface, really. Even in a relationship itself, be it the friendship or partnership, we find all kinds of possible desire, does not matter whether it is beneficial to the bond or the opposite. We have the desire to own one particular person, we have the urge to tell a person off right in the face and we have the intention to put the relationship to one corner until we find it alright. We have ‘once broken, considered sold’ and likewise, we have ‘once done, considered done’. There may be a U-turn along the way to nowhere, but the time has gone and we’re still moving on, with the possible desires we have it with us all along.

Semi-Transparent Barriers Unseen

People from the higher ranking have always been giving the impression of unapproachable, until the day when they actually come out from their room and interact with those who work behind the walls. It is somehow part of the rules where people from a different level are separated, or perhaps we should say, divided into groups with the particular barriers being set. Perhaps it is their ways of ensuring the well manners within the group, between the rankings. Perhaps it is simply the culture that we are to be reminded on the differences which exist. We are taught to respect the elders, though they may sound ridiculous from time to time, still, they will always be in the category which says they know it all, well, at least better than we do, as claimed. We are taught to watch our mouth especially when we are communicating with those who are in a higher level than we are, depending on the occasion we are in, be it the formal or informal. We are taught to respect and appreciate those who are here to help or to guide, even though it means they know lesser than we do, as it is the heart that counts. There is the invisible barrier which is meant to be semi-transparent exists, that we know when to behave ourselves and when to joke around judging from the situations we are in, especially when it comes to the interaction between people from different rankings in the society, club or family. We may have fun and we can be wild, nevertheless, we know when to stop and when to take things seriously, moving on.

源与静

某些人把它当作是游戏，某些人把它看作是生命。

有人成天在幻想它的美与妙，有人不时批评它的复杂与文化。

部分人或许曾经经历它的沧桑，也曾经尝过所谓的甜在心头。

然而，这一切、一切总有它的源与静。

曾听人说，要实实在在的享受过程，就得掌控所须的技巧。

也有人说，这不过是短暂性的迷惑，等待我们去揭晓，后懊恼。

我们为了那不起眼的细节而伤神，为了少表达的言语而感伤。

不喜欢过分被保护的我们，亦不想要被忽略一旁，自己独自黯然。

不希望被看作手无搏鸡之力而不断设法证明自己的能力，我们忘了原先的过去。

曾经的誓不隐瞒情感总是那么的难以实行，最后剩下自己在旁胡思乱想。

以往的美好不足以掩盖如今的不欢，只因白纸上的黑点总是叫人难以忽视它的存在。

心中的不安之涟漪久久未能散去，直至边缘的一角，再回荡。

将它看作是人生必经之路也好，一小段插曲也好，它已经是我们的一部分。

如果我说我累了，我能够停下来歇息吗？还是是时候下站了？

Bitter Sweet

Our tongue detects five basic taste components, which includes bitter and sweet. According to what we’ve learned back in primary, the region where we taste sweetness better is placed at the tip of our tongue whereas for the bitterness would be near the end of the tongue; though it is said there is no distinct regions for tasting different tastes later on, still, here goes. Wonder if it is how we are meant to be or perhaps it is our choice to look at it from a different angle, that we tend to go for the happiness instead of the opposite and that we like to taste something sweet compared to the bitter ones. How often do people ask which path we are to take on first; bitter or sweet? How often do we go for the bad news instead of the good ones? How often does it even come across our minds that we get to choose to go through the hard times before the leisure comes? Nevertheless, there are times when we fail to differentiate bitterness out of the sweet, as they come together in one package, or perhaps we should put it in such a way that there are times when we can find happiness out of sorrow and out of all disappointments as well. There are those who wonder what fun there can be inside a jungle, camping under the stars and throwing feast for all the blood sucking insects we can find in the woods. There are those who have been asking why obstacle is a must in life, with all the struggling and falling, trying hard to overcome it. There are those who are curious on how people tolerate with the bitterness in life, yet finding them memorable to be called the golden days. Guess that depends on whether we are looking from the inside out or the other way round, whether we taste bitterness out of the sweet or the opposite, whether we emphasize on the happiness taken place or the tears being shed in life.

Fire in The Eyes

We have been emotional from time to time, be it anger, sorrow or happiness. With people showing up by our sides, sometimes we share our burdens and sometimes we don’t, but most of the time, we needed someone who is reliable enough to hold our backs and so we know we wouldn’t fall on our butts just like that even when the worst has taken over the world. Funny thing though, some of us would ask silly question like, “Are you angry?” when it is so obvious that the words “I’m pissed” are basically written on the forehead. Once heard several comments made based on a friend who tends to get emotional all the time and that he would drag everyone around him along into such bottomless pit whenever he does, which most of them find it inappropriate as he should shut himself away instead of behaving in such a way that the whole world goes down with him. Nevertheless, do we not realize that these are the consequences when we wanted to console people in the first place? It is similar to the case where one is trapped in the quicksand and a helping hand being offered would be taken in with no further hesitation, hence the potential of that particular person who wishes to help being dragged into the mess, putting his life in the front line, if and only if, the rescue mission is not being carried out in a proper manner. Indeed we would get tired of listening to dozens of stories containing the same old pessimistic ideas of life, but it is our choice to step into people’s life when they started showing the sign of low self-esteem and insecurity. We don’t interrupt when we know others do not wish to see us intruding their world, we don’t speak further when we see people showing no sign of taking our words and we certainly do not involve ourselves in counseling or whatsoever related if we know we cannot take it, sooner or later. Fire in our eyes does not help putting off the fire in the eyes of others, so what’s the point?

Not Anymore

Due to the urge of hanging out with friends instead of staying at home rotting, several suggestions were being raised without considering the further preparation or circumstances, simply for the sake of saying something lame really. Certainly, such act brought in criticism or perhaps sarcasm for we do not think it through before voicing it out. I want to have picnic nearby waterfall, I want to enter the woods to refresh my mind, I want to hike all the way to the top of the mountains and I want to travel around before I get tied down by expectation in studies with all the test papers and quizzes. Unfortunately, people around are busy with their own problems and achievements which soon to be made. Guess that’s one of the many reasons why we find it hard to get ourselves someone who has the same interest with the extra hours to spare like we do. Couldn’t help it but to notice how things have grown apart as the time goes by and as we grow; we no longer start a topic which does not make sense in the first place, we do not put our ideas into actions as long as they are yet to be confirmed as beneficial and we have forgotten the time when our minds used to wander off elsewhere with the creativity and imagination. We are running out of time as claimed, we are competing with each other in order to gain knowledge and we are in the middle of nowhere as we speak with all the rules and boundaries, expectations and desires, competition and rationality. We were once carefree to speak as we wish and to plan our future as we desire, but not anymore.

Road Less Taken in Woods

Went into the woods just yesterday, where dozen of inspirations kick in as we trekked and during the process, I recalled my first camp in Maxwell hill years ago. We were in the jungle, where the leaders each lead their own patrol, yet I went ahead of mine, jumping onto a gigantic stone as we marched forward and almost fell into the trees unknown at the bottom of our feet due to slippery. It feels good when we know we’re able to escape from life threatening situations, really. That was the time when my patrol leader told me the things which come across my mind least; a leader walks ahead of others to ensure they are on the right track at all times and so they wouldn’t get themselves into danger. Perhaps this is the reason why we tend to watch our feet when we’re following someone’s back, especially in the forest. Perhaps it is simply the unconscious mind which takes control of our actions when we’re the first among the group and that we tend to look at the surroundings more often, especially with people behind our backs who are part of our responsibilities, in a way. Be it in the past, present or future, there will always be the different paths lying ahead of us, in the woods, in the society and in life; roads not taken or the frequently visited paths. During the jungle trekking we’ve come across many paths where we had to choose in between on which road we’re to carry on with our journey, and for safety reasons, we took the road most people had traveled across. Similarly, that’s what most people do when it comes to their lives. Still, it doesn’t mean the roads less taken are not worthy enough for tryouts, sometimes.

Racing With Time

During the obstacle course, we’ve seen them rushing the teammates, hoping to overcome all challenges ahead within the shortest time frame so that they’ll be able to win the game, not knowing how well the opponents did and hence, the little dissatisfaction along the way, raising their volume against those who are slightly slower. There was this saying that we have been racing with time in our entire lives, no idea how well we’re coping with the world and how good we actually are. Never once we thought of stopping by the road side and take a break from the rush hours, for we are feeling insecure and with the desire to win overwhelming us, we urge ourselves to carry on, even though we are thoroughly worn out. We may enjoy the moment of winning and we might have fun during the process, if we see it from a different angle as we overcoming our limits and try something new. Nevertheless, there are the little possibilities that we would go out of track along the way especially when we lose our heads, turning from hero to zero as we rush ourselves without seeing where we actually heading to.

Befriend

Exchanging contact numbers has been a form of socializing skill in the current days, whenever we meet someone new who manages to capture our attention or perhaps a person who we can click on pretty well. Nevertheless, it is also known as one of the few must-dos in order to get closer to one particular person we’re interested in, somehow, and so there will be the higher potential in the days to come for a stronger bond to be formed. Well, at least that’s the first thing which would come in mind in general. Remembering the time when we bumped into a group of teenagers at the beach, a friend was self-introducing, looking straight into the girl’s eyes as if no one else matters in the world. That’s for one case. A question was being asked the other day, whether a friend would walk up to the couple who was accompanied by another friend for self introductory if he finds the girl pretty cute and fun to chat with. The answer was no. Why? Simply because the girl has already been taken. Perhaps this is part of the revolution as claimed, where certain people no longer find friendship as amusing as relationship and getting hot chicks, showing off in front of their mates on how many opposite genders they have in their friend list. Perhaps many have gone through the stages of losing close friends that they not wish to be involved in a relationship with people from the closed circles and would only befriend with those who are single and available. Do we exchange contacts simply for the sake of getting a potential soul mate? Not for all I suppose. Friendship may be developed into relationship but not all relationships would be able to take on the form of friendships. The truth is, sometimes we’ve got to remind ourselves which path we are to take on, whether we want to befriend with someone simply for the sake of getting involved in a whole new relationship or to go with the flow and see where it would lead us to in the days to come. What is the purpose of us meeting new people really? Friendship or relationship?