Length of Time

We tend to determine the price of one particular object or even people by seeing the length of time we’ve known them or sort and from time to time, we find it hard to let go, especially when we’re forced to put it to an end after all the sweet old memories together. It doesn’t take long getting used to loving somebody, it doesn’t take ages to lose somebody and it certainly doesn’t take forever to put away the sorrows somebody has given us. We recall the good times together instead of the bad when we are to let go, without affecting the friendship which has been strengthened day by day ever since the moment we met each other; we tell ourselves that time is not a factor when it comes to recovering from the injuries and pain but our determination and strong will, for all wounds can be healed, leaving the scars behind. Perhaps the length of time does affect us in a way that many would find it appropriate, that the longer it is, the harder to forget, the more heartache it may be and the worse we may become. Nevertheless, it can be overcome. 

On The Other Side

Every story has more than one version which shares dozens of perspectives and judges by many people who listen, where the different points of views create a different story and as it passes from one to another, an alternation will be made and a new chapter will be created. Classic, yet it happens a lot. On the other side of the phone, we would never know how a person truly feels and how he is handling the blast we just casted upon him, for all we hear is the voices and all we can do is to guess. Similarly, we have the truth and false on the other side of the story, where they are hard to be differentiated, just like how we are not able to differentiate the emotions of one particular person by listening to his voice or the way he replies, just like how we are not able to differentiate our lives from the others even when we know the time has come for us to let go. There is the land of wonders on the other side of the hill, on the other side of the community and on the other side of the hearts waiting for us to discover, where there are more than one option, more than one truth and more than one life for us to choose, for us to believe in and for us to live. 

Self-Centered

The experiences we’ve been through and the memories we’ve stored evolve only the happenings around us, for we see what we’ve seen and we hear what we’ve heard. Our lives are the universe itself, where the people around us would be the planets circling around in their very own pace and vice versa. We may be humble, we may be shy, but once in a while, we may have the urge of being in the center, the spotlight to the eyes which witness. We do not wish to be invisible to the people we care for, we do not want to be insignificant to those who are significant to us and we definitely not want to be the passersby in the lives of those who are more than just a passerby in ours. Hence, it is fine to be self-centered from time to time, because that’s who we are and what we do when we want something more than what we already have, when we are overwhelmed by the insecurity and dissatisfaction, when we found something that is worthy enough for us to fight for. 

Drinking

Was it because of the heartbreaking moments that one drinks? Was it because of the memories that he drinks? Was it because of the drinking that we drink? Funny. Was it because of the emotions that we’re drunk? Was it because of the sense of humor in us that we’re not walking straight on purpose? Was it because of us drinking slightly beyond our limits that we’re going high and crazy? I wonder. Perhaps it was because of us surrounded by friends that we enjoy drinking, perhaps it was because of us wanting to hypnotize ourselves that we drink one cup after another or perhaps it was because of us hoping that everything is just a dream by drinking more and more. It could be. Perhaps it was because of the alcohol that one goes blur and dizzy, perhaps it was because of the alcohol that he feels like crying over the past or perhaps it was because of the alcohol that the memories are being put together. As always.

Hidden Hints

Words are greatly used in communication other than physical contacts, eyes signaling and many more; powerful enough to kill a person’s confidence and strong enough to lift a person’s heart. Each question asked has its hidden messages, each message delivered has its hidden keywords and each keyword said has its hidden hints, where it is up to us whether we can interpret them or not. We’ve come across the scenarios where one is telling the other how much he has done in order to please that particular person and we’ve come across the conversations where one is putting his former actions into words so that he is pretty much appreciated. Those are the hints; though we may find them meaningless when it comes to a point where the listing is needed, where the so called sacrifices are to be exaggerated. Indeed there are times where a gentle reminder is required when we overlook the things one has done for us, but when that happens, it is either we start appreciating what we have or, we classify it under the insincerity.

Once Upon A Time

Many stories begin with ‘once upon a time’; well, at least that’s what happens when it comes to fairy tales. Perhaps many would have believed in the so called happy endings, especially the children, or perhaps, most of us don’t. There are plenty of ‘once upon a time’, but there are lesser ‘happily ever after’, where the products never meet the demands. Though some of us may feel grey when things don’t work out the way we wanted it to, life goes on and people change too; though we might be heartbroken and not able to stand up once more, we’ve got to snap ourselves out of it as it is not the end of the world. We have come this far for the living and we’ve been through what the others may or may not have, we have dozens of ‘once upon a time’ to share and a few ‘happily ever after’ to talk about, we have many more chapters to go and millions of comments waiting to be recorded; we take obstacles as the inspiration, we see failures as the stepping stones to success and at the very end of the day, we have a book of our very own lives, the ‘once upon a time’.

Examples

In most occasions, examples play a vital role in setting the boundaries, be it involves discipline purposes, daily routine or even fear. Experiences from the past are lessons learned in the present and examples set for the future. We may be afraid of the repetition of unwanted incidents, not wanting to go through the same procedures and time taken in order to heal all wounds; we might look forward to the future, hoping to have the same fascinating adventures like the people do in drama series, especially when it comes to romance; we are prone to bring in all examples from our personal experiences or even others’, to advice, to remind and to make sure we’re on the right paths, at least that’s what we think we are and where we should be. There are plenty of examples set around us, be they the good ones or the bad, be they the ones which manage to teach us a lesson or the other way round. All and all, we have the examples carved in our hearts, be they in the conscious mind or the subconscious.

Always

Always, we like to use the word ‘always’ when we find the similar incidents happening twice or more and always, we find ‘always’ pretty useful in most occasions, even though it is less applicable. Always, we share the stories of our lives, either making it more interesting or tragic with the additional word ‘always’ as it plays the role as an exaggerative term in our daily conversations from time to time, or not. Always, we share the same point with one particular person in one particular matter and as we go with the flow, we would say, “It has always been like this.” Always, we get so pissed that we bring in every little single detail of the history of one’s doings, adding in the magical word ‘always’ as we continue nagging and mumbling at one corner. Always, we forget the definition of ‘always’ and use it whenever we want, despite the fact that it is not ‘always’. Always, I use 'always' in some of the sentences because it sounds good and I do find it happens always.

Necessary & Unnecessary

What are the necessary and unnecessary? Which are the right and wrong? Those are the questions which would be answered only when the actions have been taken, where people would start judging our deeds and decisions, where we would then question ourselves even more if we are being questioned. Perhaps there are the reasons behind each goal, or maybe, there isn’t any at all. However, it is us who would be deciding the necessity of putting words into actions, whether it is a yes to compulsory or the opposite. We may have the vision, but not all visions will be carried out; we may have the will, but not all wills are strong enough to last. Necessary or not, we are the ones who decide; how much we can endure in order to put our visions into missions and how long we can last before we get our job done. When it comes to necessary and unnecessary, we decide instead of listening to the others, if and only if, we know it is the right thing to do and that where we are heading to.

Promoter

We may not be good in promoting sales, we might not be able to promote a person well, but we never stop promoting ourselves and the stories we’ve heard or the experiences we’ve been through. Promote as in sharing part of our chapters, where the third parties get to enter our world or perhaps, the world we’ve been listening to, be it the tales on how amazing a person used to be, the lessons we’ve learned when we choose to ignore what we shouldn’t be or the uncertainties which take place at the surroundings. Little by little we share and little by little we reveal the inner self, where we unlock the chamber of secret hidden deep inside our hearts, where the people who are willing to listen stay as we start promoting the chapters. Certainly, not everyone who stops by would buy the stories, our stories, but there is no harm trying, for there will be the someone who would listen and comes back to us again. 

Signature

Though many would have try their very best so that the chances of being overwhelmed by emotions can be lowered, there may still be the significant or insignificant changes in the way of presenting themselves and the way of expressing their ideas; the blog entries especially. Believe it or not, most of the entries revolve only the happenings around us; be they the political issues, family and friends. The slightest changes in emotions eventually lead to the changes in our signature, in the sense of the words and expressions being used in structuring sentences and topics, where people may take note of. Like many have said, the way we present ourselves is the impression we set, the signature we carry and so, when changes taken place, alternation will be taking place too.

Closest Distance

During school hours, we tend to categorize a person as someone he may or may not be, for we are not close enough to have a peek at the world in within; in short, an overall impression will be made as we observe one particular person. We are the beings of thousand masks, simply due to the hidden emotions and perspectives which we may or may not want to show; hence, it takes more than just a few minutes observations to discover more than what we can see from the surface. Closest distance as defined enables many to unlock the necessary and unnecessary, to see what we may or may not wish to know of, or even revealing the truths which seem so real and yet finding it hard to believe. The closest distance can be achieved when two persons are sitting next to each other, when they are meeting each other more often, and most importantly, when the chemistry in between is right; where they get to observe one and another up-close, where they get to build up the trust and understanding between two, where the reaction may take place and the bonds are linked.

Babysitter

Went out with the 11 years old and a big guy on Monday; watched Madagascar and snapped a few shots at the photo booth; I’m the babysitter of the day, watching the friend treating the young lady like a princess or perhaps, as a sister. Maybe he wasn’t the only one. Went out with three schoolmates on Tuesday, one my age whereas the other two are slightly younger; where the friend thinks I look like a babysitter as I have to search for the two boys when the show was about to start. Overall, I’ve seen a different type of bonding among all four within two days, a bond which may even surpass the one which holds a family together. Meaning, we can find ourselves home within the busy crowds, people we are comfortable with, be it one person or a group of people. We are not required to be biologically related to be in a family, we are not required to have the same surname to call each other brother and we are not required to be the same species to respect one and another as a living being. When the chemistry is right, everything shall be; does not matter if we are to babysit, does not matter if we are to act gay and does not matter if we are to make a fool out of us. 

Pass Forward

Watched a movie regarding a boy who came up with an idea to make the world a better place, which is by helping three people where each then proceeds doing the same; he calls it, passing forward. Come to think of it, how often does it come to our minds that we require no one to pay us back for what we’ve done but to bless the others as favors? And how many are willing do so? Unlike in the movie, we dare not bring a stranger home, provide him food and shelter for the night, give him money so that he can stand up once again; unlike in the movie, we do not give away our brand new Jaguar when we see a person’s car gets smashed and walk ourselves home in the rain with an umbrella; unlike in the movie, we would not help a robber in the get away, sneak him out to another area right under the polices’ noses. The world has changed, including the human hearts; and what we plan may or may not end up as planned. Like what happened in the movie, the person we’ve helped might not appreciate what we’ve done, letting us down; like what happened in the movie, we are too afraid to take actions so that things can be changed, though we know we should be; like what happened in the movie, not everyone will be moved by the idea but there will be someone who is and already started putting it into actions.

Back Out = Chances

A good soldier knows when to back out; we should know when to hand things over, especially when the decision is no longer in our hands or perhaps, when it is about time. It is not a must to be emotional for months over the loss of a relationship and there is no such necessity that we shut ourselves away from many others due to a failure. We’ve been hurt so bad that we don’t need extra scars on the outside and it is simply foolish to do so when we know it does not worth it; we know there are plenty of choices out there rather than just one and it is time we stop telling ourselves that is the only one. It isn’t that hard to put things aside, though there are times where it isn’t easy to make the decision of doing so; however, it can be done. Hence, it is no surprise when someone can accomplish the task given, by forgetting a relationship and never the person involved. One door closes, two doors open; ending a relationship is not equivalent to ending our lives as we have to move on, backing out from a life-risking situation is not equivalent to giving up our future as we’ll wait for the chances to strike once again.

Individualism

We are not required to act the way others would be, as we are the individuals, not sharing one mind or one soul; we may have one or two similar perspectives but definitely not all, simply because we are us and not others. In a relationship, one couple, two different souls and two different individuals; in a family, one bond, several souls and more individuals; in a circle, more bonds, more souls and many individuals. We may know which the best solution is, but it doesn’t mean we would apply it in life; we might understand one situation, but it doesn’t mean we would stop wondering the consequences with our imaginations go wild; we know there are the lies behind one truth and the truth behind all lies, but it doesn’t mean we wouldn’t buy it when one particular version of the story is told. A different step taken, a different decision made, and there comes the variation in perspectives and the individualism; making the difference.

Equilibrium

One and a half year has officially ended days ago. It isn’t a short period of time, but it isn’t that long either, not to mention it feels as if it was only yesterday where everything is taken place. Heart-touching moments there were, with the laughter and smiles; unexpected incidents there were, bringing the tears and sorrows along. We were pissed and annoyed, when there were the repetitions in words that one is useless, spreading the negative emotions; we were anxious and worried, when there were the expectations which we failed to achieve. Somehow I feel, we would loose something when we’ve came to a whole new phase in life, be it a non-living object, a relationship, a human being or the other organisms. Certainly, we gain as we loose and we loose as we gain; the equilibrium, I shall say. When a relationship is ended, we get ourselves a wider range of potential partners; when a chapter of the story is ended, we get to move on to the next and find out more. Every ending brings in a whole new beginning, to us and the people around. Sometimes we make the decisions of doing so, sometimes we don’t, but eventually, it takes place whether we like it or not; achieving the equilibrium.

Poem: Ego and Desire

One last dance is yet to be decided, wonder if there should be one.

The story has spread, and no taking back the words.

The thought is shared, regarding the one last dance.

Struggling between strong ego and desire, one soul is troubled and confused.

To do or not to do, it seems so easy and yet so hard.

To continue or not to, damage will be done either way.

Which is the better solution? Which is the destiny ahead?

What is the purpose of doing so? What is the purpose of not to?

Which should be the answer? The ego or desire?

Happiness & Sorrows

Happiness is built on sorrows, be it of our own or the rest of the world. Why? Without going through heartache moments and troubled souls, we would not have understand the meaning of happiness; without knowing how the others have suffered in order to live, we would not have known we are actually living in the happiness which many are asking for. When there are no problems, there would not be the questions and brain storming on working things out; when there are no negative emotions, the positive ones would not be reflected. Certainly, this is merely one way of saying it, as there could be the others depending on our perspectives.

Commitments

When we heard one particular couple has broken up, a friend commented saying, “I thought he’s committed in the relationship.” Frankly speaking, we do commit ourselves in our doings, but the question is how long it will be. Back to the simplest concept; who we are may not equal to who we were and what we do might not be the same as what we did. When we love, we love and when we don’t, it doesn’t mean that we never did. If we are not committed, we wouldn’t even get ourselves into troubles of solving questions and overcoming the obstacles ahead; if we are not committed, we wouldn’t have made the decision of going forward instead of living in the past; if we are not committed, we may not even bother to make the decisions in our lives. Committed or not is not the issue, but the limit of our commitments, in which may last for minutes, hours, days, months or even years, varying from one individual to another.