Dreams & Reality

Having the opportunity placed right in front of me, yet hesitation kicks in. Great. Being able to study abroad has always been a form of, achievement I shall say, in the eyes of the family, or perhaps, most of the people on Earth. Nevertheless, being accepted and acknowledged by the education council of a higher standard country is one thing, affording the living expenses and education fee is the other. Not all incidents take place according to our plans after all, and that is what we call life, making decision in between dreams and reality. Like what the old man once told, “There are times when we really have to face the upcoming obstacles by accepting the fact that we’re living in the reality where dreams come in only when the time is right and when we’re not trapped in quick sand.” What’s a dream and what is not? What’s the so called reality and life? We may choose to live our dreams, waiting for the day when it could turn into reality or we may be living in the reality, taking every event which has already taken place as though they are part of our dreams. The fact is, the education fee in NUS is cheaper compared to any private colleges which provide the same course here in the country, however, the difference in currency is what it matters most. Dreams or reality? Oh well.

Carrying Out Expectation

How many times we are told to behave like our age? How often we are asked to make the appropriate decision? How far do we go in order to carry out the tasks given, hitting the expectations others have set for us in the same time? Although we are responsible for our own actions, we are somehow required to achieve a certain level, whereby those who look up to us would be pleased and satisfied. We may be expecting people to behave the way we do and likewise, they might expect us to do it their ways too, hence the complication, hesitation and confusion. How long has it been ever since the last time we had it our ways without considering what the people around us would say? Pretty long I guess. Personally have made several decisions in the recent days which would and have upset the people who care, and perhaps those who think they do. We always look forward to the days when our actions taken or voices raised would be acknowledged, in a way, without having us getting headaches and worried over the unnecessary yet necessary opinions of the third parties. It is our responsibility as claimed, that we should respect the perspectives of others and put their suggestions under consideration at all times. No harm done I suppose. Perhaps it is us who are to be blamed, as we seek for the opinions when there aren’t any and get frustrated when we actually receive dozens of feedbacks based on our decisions made. We get upset when the parents are upset as we’re too stubborn to change our mind, we feel disappointed when a friend is disappointed as our action taken is not our usual style and sometimes we’re surprised as the people around us are surprised over our doings when we thought they wouldn’t be but being supportive instead. Guess this is just the way it is, where we are supposed to carry out the expectation, which would somehow become a form of reputation to be upheld. That is if, we choose to be. 

Smile Away

Attended Eco Camp 115 as facilitator, where the participants are primary school students aged between 10 to 12 years old. Funny it seemed to be, as the slightest movements were able too give them a good laugh, hence hugging us and started to call us mom. Simple as us pretending not remember anything including our names, to making funky expressions along with exaggerated actions while teaching them games, songs and claps. Guess this is one of the reasons why many would like to travel in time back to the older days when we were still innocent and not know the word burden. Compared to the people around our age and above, smiling has somehow become a form of business, where we trade it with attention from others, hence attracting more customers as they feel welcomed and warm. We don’t find many things as funny as they used to be when we were much younger and we certainly do not laugh to a point where we would start rolling on the floor over the silliest action or expression shown. Perhaps it is due to the reason that we’re so obligated with the responsibilities we currently possess and the worries over our future achievements, that we not remember how nice it once felt when we get to have a good laugh, even if it costs us stomachache and tears of joy rolling down the cheeks. Yes we used to cry over the least significant incidents taken place and yes we would be running around screaming whenever we encounter the insects which are million times smaller than our size, nevertheless, the smile would always be there on our faces, as though the previous unwanted events have been erased from our memories, not leaving a trace, unlike us now, putting on the mask, not smiling anymore, from the bottom of our hearts. 

Freedom, Money & Love

Any job can be boring as hell the longer we work, or when we no longer find it as happening. Hence, feeling restricted to a certain level, where we find ourselves trapped within a particular area. It was a new friend found on the first day I started working who told, that he has lost his freedom the moment he decided to come here and there I replied saying he is getting paid for it. Come to think of it, we do not entirely lose our freedom as we work, but the flexibility we once had before we are being tied down to the current responsibility. Though we might be encountering a different stage of incidents and events, where we may find love and sometimes even hatred as well, still, it is okay. Recall the number of new friends we’ve found and the kindness they offer from time to time, when we are left alone in the shop and they show up asking whether we need anything as they are heading to the food store nearby, when they offer us the facility they have so that we can keep our drinks cold and all. Think of the colleague who is now a friend, giving us chocolate which contains 85% cacao so that we are able to try something new, sharing his knowledge based on shoes and that we wouldn’t get ourselves a lower quality pair. Next we have the supervisor who never complains even though we’ve been calling her every few hours whenever there’s the request on changing our working timetable, or when there’s something we do not understand when it comes to our job, who buys us the souvenirs and chocolates as she goes on a vacation to the island guarding by the eagle. The manager who doesn’t mind feeding us the toast she bought us as our hands are dirty half way arranging the stocks in the store, going off to the supermarket on the opposite to get us a bottle of mineral water as she notices us finishing ours. It is a form of love that can be found in the mall, around our working area, originated from the appreciation deep within the hearts or perhaps the word which often touches many souls, that is care.

特长篇：雪豹

人类虽在智商一方比其他动物略高一等，然而却无法摆脱本是动物的天性，即使如今被称为人性亦是如此。曾经有那么的一则传说：在一个世人无法到达的地方住有一族人，他们于外表看来与普通人类没什么不一样。唯一一点不同的是，他们各代表着不同种类的动物，而所属的动物类群皆因内心而定。

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那是他们祖先所留下的一句话：“当你们为维护自己的尊严与至亲，由内心散发出的保护欲将会达到最高点，外表也随而之进行突变，成为你们所代表的动物种类。”只可惜，由古至今能达到此境界的达玛族人屈指可数，其余的不过能短暂性的发威，朦胧中显示自己所属的动物类群。

在一个阳光普照的下午，一群天真活泼的小孩在一旁嬉戏。那是一种追踪游戏，扮演着侦探捕捉逃犯的一幕。在一声号令之下，全体跃起，爬上了屋顶。游戏正式开始。大人们如常地在一旁观看，继续手头上的工作，仿佛那是再正常不过的日常活动，而他们那敏捷的身躯加上惊人的速度在常人眼中不过是一团黑影在屋顶上闪过。

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此时此刻，离达玛村口不远处的树下躺着一名青年。他一头乌黑的短发在阳光照耀下略带深蓝，更是衬托出他那雪白的肌肤，而看似熟睡的模样让人不禁觉得这世界是多么的美好与平静。一阵凉风掠过，唤醒了他。睁开双眼，他那浅蓝色的眼珠使人迷惑，尝试捉摸他的思绪却又怯步。他，就是让族人忌违三分的阳风。望着孩童们在村子里互动，阳风锐利的眼神流露出感伤与孤寂，可他倔强的个性叫他不易让自己的情绪冲昏脑袋，从而让外人所见。

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尤记得那一夜，四周漆黑一片，唯有数颗星星高挂空中，点缀着神秘的宇宙。几团黑影在屋顶上跃过，紧跟着前方的男孩。男孩看着后尾的追兵慢慢向他逼近，使尽浑身力气继续向前冲刺，希望能将他们摆脱。自小长相比他人特出的他总是遭身边的同龄所欺，甚至将他当玩具般追赶。发丝随风飘逸打在他脸上，心中有上万个问题为什么，不明白为何他总是被欺负的那一位，不了解为什么他总得忍气吞声，进而让他们百般玩弄。这样下去，尊严何存？

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想到这儿，他心中的烈火顿时燃起，身体在他奔跑的同时进行变化。他停下脚步等待敌人的到来。身在后头门的少年们不知自己惹怒了男孩，见到那双蓝眼在黑暗中闪耀着，误认为他已放弃逃命任由他们处置。他们一个接一个的停落在男孩所处的屋顶上头，兴奋的想结束当晚的游戏，然而惊觉男孩的眼神与往日有所不同，冷酷得让人不寒而栗。

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微风吹过，没人敢走前一步，双方僵持不动。这时，遮盖着月亮的云朵移位了，温和的月光给黑漆漆的大地盖上微芒，后而伸展至男孩与少年们的那一带。那双蓝眼在月光下显得更是让人怯步，但是叫人更为惊讶的是，男孩已不再是男孩。一身雪白的毛发，乍看之下带有几分浅蓝，黑色斑点散布全身直至那条长长的尾巴，尖而有力的爪子似乎能随性的将肉体切半。呈现在少年们面前的他如今已被称为它，一头美得让人叹为观止的雪豹。

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少年们望着眼前的猛兽，惊觉自己将惹祸上身，纷纷往各自的家园归去，暗誓不再玩弄该名男孩，留下那头雪豹在微微月光下为自己的突变感到自豪，却也不禁觉得失落，只因往后的日子将会变得孤寂，只因他已在多人心中种下恐惧，只因他突变一事不会就此被众人所忘。他，阳风将得学习如何克服日后的静寂。

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阳风将自己拉回现实生活当中，以免过度沉迷于回忆里头而丧失自我。这时，达玛村里传出一阵骚动，似乎有什么状况出现。身为五大特员之首的阳风，尽管知道达玛村中所谓的重大事件不过是族人之间的不和或是一些不打紧的纠纷，然而职务所在，不得不飞奔回去查个究竟。回到达玛村里，只见多位村民在一旁交头接耳，说有人类出现在山谷之内，却不知她是如何来到这与世绝隔的村子，只知她来到这里的那瞬间，笑了一笑，似乎庆幸自己找到什么东西便失去意识，如今正在众多长老之一的家中接受治疗。

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不言，阳风走进那间被众人所包围的小屋，想看看传闻中的人类与外表方面是否真的与达玛族人没什么区别。只见村民们口中的她被置放在一张小床上，而七位长老以及其余的四大特员们则站在一旁，商量该如何将她处置，只因世人本该不应知道达玛村的存在。瞄了瞄她苍白的脸孔，阳风加入他们之间的话题，此时正有一名长老表示人类亦有权力活命，不应将她弃之不顾，不如待她痊愈，删除她的记忆再送她回去自己所属的地方即可。

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返到家中，阳风不断忆起先前该名女子的容貌，手握胸口，他希望所感觉到的一切不是真的。在七位长老投票后，他们决定实行迹藤长老的概念，毕竟人类与达玛族人一样都是属于这世界的一分子，可是阳风对他们所决定的一切感到不安，仿佛某些重大事件将会发生。

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数日后，神秘女子恢复意识，出口的第一句便是请求长老们让她留在达玛村里，只因她对人类的私欲及斗争已感到厌倦，方舍命爬山涉海为求寻得传说中的达玛村庄一享与世无争的生活。眼见这名看似柔弱的女子以最诚恳的眼神说出这番话，甚至乎不惜下跪希望获得谅解，众长老皆已心软，答应让她留下。欣玫的眼里刹那间流露出喜悦，可看在阳风眼里却带有一丝难以理解的兴奋。

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在达玛村民与欣玫相处的日子里发觉她善解人意及贴心的一面，不但是众人眼中的好听众，更是一位贤慧难得的女子，唯独阳风一人拒她远之，只因他仍解不开心中那莫名的感觉与不安。或许这是阳风自突变之夜后接受的特训以便成为特员之首所致，一再告诉他不应轻易相信外人，尤其是山谷以外的生物。望着远处她那棕色及腰的波浪式长发，大而有神且让人迷恋的凤眼，叫男人爱不释手的水蛇腰以及凹凸分明的魔鬼身材，阳风不禁想起迹藤长老告诉他的一句话：“凡是有生命者皆应得到他人给于的机会以证实自己的清与纯。无法释怀，既是无法见识他人的美。”然而，她的内在是否与外在的一般美呢？唯有时间的流失能给予解答。

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紧握着被子，阳风满是痛苦的表情，全身血液仿如将要破脉而出，致使他紧锁双眉，额头布满汗珠。从床上跃起，结束了他的恶梦，只见自己处于一件简单却又精致的房内。太阳早已高挂空中，任由它的光芒散布大地，钻入阳风的房里，然而四周的一切却显得格外平静，毫无生气。一股不安涌上心头，促使阳风冲出屋外，暗许这一切都只是梦境，可惜却不如他所愿。

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达玛村民们全都消失得无影无踪，仿佛早已人间蒸发，从不存在。凭着他们留下的气息，阳风冲出山谷，以寻真相。一路上他满脑子尽是最坏的情景，担心族人有何不测，遭他人所害，而幕后首脑既是她，欣玫。怒火中烧，阳风无法原谅那内心丑恶的女子，更无法原谅自己的大意。一心只想寻回族人，阳风双手变成白色爪子，只见一头雪豹在林中奔驰，越过万重山，跃过万条江，来到了一间由铁片盖成的厂子。

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步入厂内，映入眼帘的尽是木箱。直觉加上嗅觉告诉它说族人就在那堆箱子围绕着的铁笼里等待救兵。阳风小心翼翼的往木箱走去，担心自己一个不慎便会跌入敌人预先所设的陷阱。一支针飞快地向它射去，却远不及阳风光速般的敏捷。轻轻一跃，雪豹跳上了木箱高处，只剩那支带有麻醉药的针头插在地上。它往麻醉针的来源望去，只见欣玫手持短枪，身后则有数名大汉等待听令。原来她寻找达玛村的最终目的是要捕捉传闻中能进行突变成为动物的达玛族人，以便能将他们送入研究室，揭开他们此异能的秘密，再将所得的最新科技转卖他人，从而得到金钱与权势。

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想象族人接受检验面布痛苦的模样，阳风更是气在上头，因为他们并非什么试验白老鼠，而是与人类一样皆是有生命的动物。它不顾一切地向欣玫杀去，恨不得将她五马分尸。眼见她将被扑倒在地的那一刻，另有黑影从旁杀出，将阳风撞去一旁，导致箱子掉落，露出铁笼的一角。数名达玛孩童从中呼喊给予阳风支持，望它能把他们救出。

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阳风猛摇了摇头，仿佛想将头上的那阵星圈摆脱。重新恢复正常视觉，惊觉先前的黑影并非任何一位欣玫的手下，而是最受达玛族人敬佩的迹藤长老。这是阳风一生中最难以接受的事实。曾是众人公认最为高尚且值得学习的大智慧家如今竟已被欣玫洗脑，丧失自我，成为她的傀儡之一。更叫人难以置信的是他竟然与外人连成一线，出卖自己的族人，知道阳风会因族人有难而前来打救，甚至进行突变，方出此下策，把达玛村全民上下捉去，再把已化成雪豹的阳风另行带走。

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怒视着经已背叛族人的迹藤，阳风心中不禁呐喊："解！"厂内的一生一物象是被冻结，不得动弹，唯独阳风与铁笼里的达玛族人不受影响。爪子轻轻地在空中一划，围绕着铁龙的木箱全已破碎，而扣在笼子的锁头也被切半。达玛村民冲出笼外，各自飞奔归去。

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“为了一个外人，你竟如此对待自己的族人。”那是阳风临走前留给迹藤的一句话，那么的平静道出，听在耳里却是那么的痛心，让人心中不禁一沉，感到冰冷且难以呼吸。阳风头也不回的往出口潇洒走去，那头雪豹如今已恢复人形，留下迹藤、欣玫及其余的手下动弹不得，直至离开这世界的那一刻方得解脱。

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归纳于雪豹的类群在达玛族中被视为最高尚且罕有的一群，只因他们不屈不挠的精神及捍卫家园的意识极高，在必要的情况下将不惜斩断情根，六亲不认。续祖先的上一句：“尚若突变之后深感羞辱或不忿，你们将会释放自己的内在功能，简称为‘解’，而这所谓的‘解’则因动物类群而异，其威力也因自己的内心感受而有所改变。当你们丧失自我，迷失方向而走上不归路，突变的异能将会消失，进而被贬为凡人。然而，自己所属的动物类群将永存心中，时时刻刻提醒着自己的真实身份及过去所犯的错误。”

Thief

A group of kids about the age of eight came into the shop and as they left, a lighter was found missing. It was an assumption that they were the ones who stole it. I wasn’t there. Weeks later, they showed up again, but this time, I caught them red handed, stealing the exact same item. Guess the assumption wasn’t merely an assumption after all, and surprisingly, one of the boys is the son of the staff next door. What a brilliant gift for Mother’s Day. It is understandable that children at this age tends to make mistakes in search of adventures and excitements, but it is unforgivable that they do not realise their mistakes in time and intend to do it again, in the exact same shop, targeting the exact same product on sale. Now how idiotic can that be? We would usually define stealing as taking a person’s belongings without permission but personally, there’s a whole new definition which should be added in as the society is way different from what it used to be. In the current days we have people who go lovey-dovey with all the opposite gender available, or perhaps I should say, all possible candidates who may just fall for the tricks they play and from there they have several options of who to choose, even if they are already in a stable relationship. Stealing the hearts is what we always call it, taking it as the temporary toy to play with instead of something to be appreciated. We have those who constantly reminding a person regarding the third party’s doings and how frustrating it can be at times, emphasizing on their so called better personalities on purpose, without having to make it obvious, not realising their such behaviour isn’t anywhere better at all. Stealing the crowd from the third party we may known it as, hoping it would stay on their sides instead. Thief or no thief, somehow it looks the same, at least for now it is.

Poem: In A Box

Sitting on a chair,

there he stares at the outside world.

Two walls on the left and right,

where his vision is limited.

Having the front view changes from time to time,

his mind is allowed to run wild.

But with the certain happenings taken place,

he is trapped within his own emotions, overtaken.

Sometimes there will be the flow,

and the other times there will be not.

The eyes no longer shine like it used to be,

and the heart is feeling insecure.

Thinking out of the box there he tries,

to ensure that he sees from a different angle at all times,

to not be overwhelmed by the recent dissatisfaction,

and to not be the person he would never want to be, a pessimist.

Shortcuts

What is the shortest working period you’ve ever had? I’ve personally come across with a person who worked two hours on the first day itself, then left without informing the colleagues and employers. How irresponsible. In the conversation he told the reason why he did not further his studies after high school, which is to earn more money. Tracking back his employment history we discover that he left the previous two working companies due to low monthly income, which in our opinions, however, RM1300 per month is one of the very few high paid jobs that can be found for a person with SPM qualification only. Guess he is just after all another human being who is looking for shortcuts to fortune and to a better life, in which I personally think that it is unrealistic if we choose to do nothing yet hoping for it to come true. Yes we would usually consider the job with the highest pay when we are looking for one, but it doesn’t mean that we should walk off just like that without saying a word after giving the impression of us ready to commit. Moreover, a shortcut is to be built instead to be found. We may be able to easily create a shortcut on the desktop screen, but what we’ve missed out is the program has already been set beforehand. We might be walking in the woods knowing that it is safe and that we will be reaching the final destination in no time, but what we’ve failed to realize is that the route is draught by the organizer way before we enter the wonderland. We don’t look for a job with a million pay the moment we step outside our comfort zone, but we can work hard from the scratch and slowly proceed to a higher level. We don’t look for shortcuts all the time, but we can certainly create one by working it out.