Unpredictable Destiny

Nigel Ang =)

2011-11-30T00:00:00.006+08:00

The very first time we made eyes contact was two years ago. Within this time period, life has changed, people have changed and the chemistry between us has changed as well. For what’s worth, I am glad that we have come this far. It is rather interesting to see how one incident in our lives leads on to another, where we come across with different individuals, go through various situations, and finally come to where we are today. When I first knew you were about to leave the programme and I was going to lose someone I could ‘click’ on with, I got somewhat emotional as the future university life without you in it seemed, unimaginable. Just when I thought the distance between us will be further apart, it turned out to be the opposite. Talk about unpredictable destiny. Like many other passersby in my life, you and I met each other as our lives collide, but the difference is, you stayed. I am grateful to meet someone as special as you. You have always been there for me when I need you most, providing support in any way you can possibly think of; accompanying me to watch horror movies despite the fact that you dislike them, giving me hugs as to encourage me to keep going and most importantly, accepting me for who I am regardless of my flaws. I appreciate the attention you have given to me, and all the time we have spent together, as they have definitely made my day. Thank you for being so patient with me, thank you for listening to my many ‘stories’, thank you for helping me to learn so much more about life and finally, thank you for being part of my life. I may not be equipped with the best sense of romanticism, but I write you the most sincere words from the bottom of my heart.

Happy 21^st Birthday My Dear! ^^

Continuum

2011-07-14T10:19:00.001+08:00

Continuum can be seen as the backbone of many descriptions. For example, when a person is said to be enthusiastic, the enthusiasm level is measured based on this continuous non-spatial extent. From time to time, we describe ourselves with the use of words, such as cheerful and hardworking. What people may tend to miss out is the degree of it. In other words, those descriptions work as some sort of a mask, semi-covering the true description behind each description, until the day where it is shown via the portrayed behaviours. Using the previous example, a friend may claim herself to have the enthusiasm in completing the assigned task, but at the end of the day, she seems to be producing nothing. Is her enthusiasm sufficient enough to get her moving towards the goal? Most probably not. Frankly speaking, having a desired characteristic does not necessarily mean that we have the quality of it. Perhaps it is somewhat similar to the threshold principle, where we are required to hit the minimum requirement before we are capable of activating an action, creating a force which cannot be stopped by any obstacles ahead. And when we do not hit the threshold level, well, we do not get what we wanted the most. Everything comes back to us at the very end, where we hold the key to strive for our purpose and goals. It does not matter whether we possess the quality or personality, but how we make full use of it by pushing it to the optimal level along the continuum in order to hit the threshold.

Rituals

2011-06-21T12:31:00.002+08:00

Every day, we engage in particular processes or actions under certain situations, whereby personally would see it as some form of ritual. Some of us may perceive the rituals as something meaningful, but what we may not notice is that, these so called rituals might not be as meaningful as we thought to be. For example, a person has been instilled with the concept of not wasting water usage by making sure he maximizes the uses of water. What he does is as simple as putting one hand in the running water while brushing teeth. It is his very own ritual to not wasting the water, but the truth is, he can just turn the water supply off while carrying out his daily hygiene care. There are other rituals such as saying particular something in order to console or cheer a person up. “I will always be by your side.” “Let’s go out and spend some time together.” Certainly, we may mean what we say, but, there are also the times when we say it for the sake of saying it, to help balancing the uncomfortable or reducing undesirable atmospheres. We can easily come up with our own rituals to deal with certain situations, but it is more difficult to determine whether they are as meaningful as we thought to be.

The Eyes

2011-06-06T16:51:00.001+08:00

Most of us are taught to initiate and maintain eye contacts when an interactive communication is taking place, as it reflects our sincerity and respect. Nevertheless, how often do we look into our own eyes and attempt to communicate with ourselves? The eye allows us to extract much information regarding a person, such as the genuineness and determination in the certain behaviour. In other words, it also helps us in establishing contact with our deepest desires and wants, or perhaps even the needs. Why so? Go to a mirror and have a good look at yourself, then slowly shift your gaze to your own pair of eyes. Notice the tiny sparks within the eyes, showing some sort of greed towards particular something, hidden yet visible, in which awaits us to disclose further. Personally went through heart-breaking incidents, resulted in pessimistic self who sees the world as grey, ignoring other possible colours. Nonetheless, the negative perceptions diminished on that very fine day, when the eyes met up with the same pair of eyes mirrored in reflection, landing the focus on the little hope which still lives in self: the want to push all unexpected and unwanted events aside, stepping out from the current pathetic self and transform into a whole new being, ready to take on many more upcoming challenges. It may be referred as suppression, or it can be part of our growth, depending on whichever stance we hold onto. The point is, the desire to survive and live on is implanted in us, but it is up to us whether we are able to gain access to that particular want or not. There will always be the pair of eyes watching over our actions, and when we are able to find them, we are then able to locate the determinism in us, hence strive harder than ever to achieve what we intended to achieve. The eyes which symbolize strength, await.

Process vs Outcome

2011-06-06T16:05:00.005+08:00

From time to time, we face the obstacles in life, which may instill the sense of helplessness in us, and hence the urge to give up arises. As some may say, how we initiate a goal somehow reflects how it may turn out to be, whereas some may see the process holds the key to desired outcomes. Personally is skewed to the latter concept, in the same time values process more as compared to the outcome. Reasons why? Taking the first step to start a commitment is indeed difficult and requires courage; nonetheless, a strong determination is needed to go on with what has been originally drawn out, and needless to say, to overcome the obstacles ahead. Challenges come after one and another, as though they are meant to put us to test and evaluate our qualification to achieve what we wanted to achieve. It is noteworthy that challenges as such come in many forms, range from people to events occurrences, pushing us to the edge of the world, forcing us to choose between giving up and moving on. Therefore, it is crucial to understand that we are responsible over our very own actions and every decisions made, whether to fail or to succeed in accomplishing the tasks given, thus scoring the goal. Whenever we are worn out and not wish to carry on with our original plans, take a deep breath and rest our mind, replenish our souls and re-strike, for we are merely the human beings who need to take a break from time to time in order to be effective once more.

Quality & Quantity

2011-03-30T15:28:00.000+08:00

It is fascinating to see how people often focus on their demands for qualities instead of quantities, despite the fact that they themselves fail to carry out the message via own behaviours. Look at the many advertisements across highway and television show cases, putting the slogan such as “Quantity does not matter, but the quality,” and “We provide quality services.” How they truly define the terms quality and quantity really? And how they differentiate from one to another apart from the alphabetic differences? Time is different now, so is the life and its people. Back then, academic achievement is seen as something qualitative, where the higher we go, the better we are. Nonetheless, it is somehow more towards the quantitative side in the current days, where the higher we achieved not necessarily equals to better skills or higher knowledge. Why so? Look at the so called quality education system; there may be tons of doctorate holders as educators, but the work they produce might not even meet the lowest level of quality. How pathetic. In this case, education achievement is more on the measure of quantity, because the higher we achieve simply shows the longer list under the column of academic achievement as we draft out on our resume. Seriously, where is the quality? Well, some of us may say educators are there merely to assist us in academic growth, and spoon feeding does us no good at all. Indeed we are not supposed to be overly dependent on people whom we assume to be reliable as knowledge sources, where we only seek them for assistance, but here’s the catch. If they cannot provide moderate or high quality assistance, what else do we do? Depend on self may be one way, or perhaps we seek for other better sources. So, at the end of the day, we still seek for quality even when it comes to help and assistance. And when the educators cannot meet our needs, what is the point of us registering ourselves into private institution for the quality education as they claim and pay tons of money for the unmet standards? Quality and quantity; what a argumentative topic when given the right case study.

Peer Pressure

2011-03-23T16:16:00.000+08:00

In one Hong Kong drama series, a female cop accepted the ex boy friend’s marriage proposal in public, accompanied by tons of people who non-stop urging her to say yes. Ignore the fact that situation like this only occurs in created stories and the probability of it actually takes place in reality, did the person really say yes because she still has feelings for him or merely due to the pressure applying by the public? It is fun indeed when we start repeating some words such as “kiss her” in particular situation, intending to urge the recipient(s) to commit in some behavior where the crowd follows our lead and repetition continues. From one point of view, we may see it as something positive and hence, there’s nothing wrong with doing so. Nonetheless, things might be viewed differently as we judge it from a different angle. In another words, we may urge people in terms of decision making in which we think is good for them, but will we be the one who is responsible of the subsequent consequence? Certainly, some of us may say we should be credited if the person who listens to our advice actually succeeded. What about when it happens the other way round where things went wrong? Will we be brave enough to admit our contribution to such unwanted incidences? Well, it is the person’s choice of making which leads him to current situation, regardless the outcome of success or failure. But how many do realize the fact that what we say not only may, but do indeed affect how the others come to finalizing their thoughts? Believe it or not, the peer pressure is there, working in different degrees, depending on how strong the recipient’s mind or determinism is.

Half-Hearted Effects

2011-02-04T15:18:00.002+08:00

It’s common to have low quality teachers when we were back in primary or secondary school, as all we were asked to do was, stand up and read lines by lines. When it comes to tertiary education level however, we have a higher expectation on the quality, especially when we enroll into semi-government or private universities. Truth hurts though, apart from disappointment and demotivation. Looking at the many people around us, we can easily spot the half-hearted souls, straying from one street to another, waiting for the time to pass. With the values we are now paying in everyday’s life, it is such irony that we do not get equivalent level of services. Dealing with the individuals whose faces are as black as the charcoal, we nevertheless still have to include service tax into the bill. It is understandable that a person can never be constantly full-hearted and commit in the decisions made. Nonetheless, is it that difficult to at least do the very best and not just doing for the sake of earning the numbers? When we are the persons who sound the horn and take the lead, we ask for many, many things in order to satisfy ourselves. Such irony, however, when we are the ones who are supposed to provide services and be the followers, we often find our ways to slack and going in between to seek for the chances of being a leader among other followers. When we are half-hearted, we do things half-heartedly, providing half-heartedly-transmitted knowledge, producing half-hearted students, creating half-hearted future. The chain effects are scary, but the half-hearted people who have caused the chain reactions are even scarier.

Reset

2011-02-03T14:34:00.003+08:00

In the current days we are given either the recyclable or disposable eating utensils when dining in some random restaurants. One of the odds is, each time we use the recyclable ones, some of us may ask for hot water or as simple as using tissue to “sanitize” them before using. Perhaps it is our mind that is playing with us, thinking by doing so helps to reduce the chances of consuming “unclean” particles as we place the food into our mouth. In other words, the sanitizing procedures actually function as some sort of reset button, whereby the once-has-been-used-by-unknown-stranger utensils will be renewed within seconds. We are fully aware of the fact that countless people have used the utensils which are now in our hands, but we couldn’t care less, unless we are fastidious with cleanliness and are squeamish over the thought of sharing the same utensils with hundreds of people. A simple observation, but activates numberless neurons firing to more thoughts. Though we are able to reset our mental set on recyclable utensils, there are times when it can’t be helped but to imagine how the previous users might look like. Similarly, when we have a reset in relationships, be it friendship or romance, the probability of drowning back into the possible past exists. We can never truly reset something into brand new, as it merely happens in our mind, that is if we can control it well.

Circular Value

2010-11-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it is so contradicting when a person who claims to be generous and kind is actually engaging in actions which speak the opposite. Look at our surroundings. We have those who say they pay a rather significant importance on educating the younger generations, and yet charging the courses available at such high cost to the point of some fail to take up tertiary education. We have those who want to bring people off from the dying edge and to ensure the health of many souls, and yet charging even higher cost for the medications, even the medical check up requires particular amount of money. We have those who wish to bring better lifestyle to all citizens within the restricted boundaries, and yet they ask for dozens of surcharges onto each requests made. Are the wishes and claims true after all? Indeed, it is ridiculous to have a person making losses out in their professions. Nonetheless, is it really necessary to charge at such a price that many cannot afford, which may then cost the person a great opportunity or perhaps, his life even? Perhaps some may say the price value allows people to distinguish the best from the worst, the higher the better quality and guarantee. Is it really? Or it is as simple as the marketing purposes? Are all the low priced items that bad? The amount we pay in the current days does not guarantee us the best service nor the best learning environment, but merely, the envious expressions in which others put on their faces whenever it is mentioned. It is a circle indeed, without us knowing what could be the main contributor to such a mess. Do all doctors wish to be doctors so that they could save many lives? Do all academic institutions founders found universities and colleges just so they can produce students of higher quality? It all comes down to one word, money. How pathetic.

Showing Empathy

2010-11-03T15:48:00.002+08:00

We are asked and taught to be empathy toward the surrounding people and incidents, regardless whether we’re biologically bonded. In hospitals for example, we have patients checking in and out daily, with their family members going in and out the building during the hospitalization period. Their presence may be due to their love and care over the significant ones who are now lying on the bed, in the room which is filled with the smell of chemicals and medication. Some may be wondering why bother to be present, as the visitors can only stand there and watch the patients undergo suffers and pain, not a big help to ease the pain they are going through, nor to pull them off from the illnesses. Perhaps we are there to provide emotional support and so the patients are able to hang on and continue fighting the terrorists who exist within the bodies. Perhaps we simply show up to prove our care and concern, as there will be the others who would witness our presence, and not commenting on the absence which many may perceive as cold-hearted. Even the hospital staffs themselves are required to show particular facial expressions and voice behaviours which suggest empathy, such as speaking in a lower tone and showing neutral expression. In other words, empathy is no longer to just feel for what the others do, but also to engage in actions to show that we do feel. It may not necessarily to be actions in making the other person to feel better, but actions which reflect our urge of supporting the individual, despite our relationship proximity with him or her.

Assessment

2010-10-29T15:36:00.002+08:00

Assessments are carried out every now and then in our daily lives, range from academic to interpersonal. Certainly, it can be either formal or informal, depending on our purpose in doing so. Very often, we check on the amount of change after paying the bill, to see whether the waiter is being honest instead of cheating our money. At times we allow the hairdresser to take over in deciding our new hairstyle, hoping we will take on a whole new image which would please us and the significant people around. Also, we take note of the promises our lover or beloved friends have made from time to time, assessing their trustworthiness for future reference. All and all, assessments come into picture across different situations, among different circles, with us being the examiner, determining our very own marking scheme. Though we may be assessing others at this moment, we are in the same time being assessed by the people around, looking from different perspectives based on the necessity and likability.

Crime Prevention

2010-10-27T14:53:00.003+08:00

“Prevention is better than cure”; a greatly used phrase which aims to increase our awareness on particular topics. During the last prevention project, however, one of the speakers actually set a limit onto this meaningful saying. How so? By sharing information regarding the various types of crime in national language despite the fact that there were international participants who clearly did not understand a single word spoken, the speaker ignored student helper who notified her on the foreigners’ presence and carried on with the slideshows in mother tongue. “It’s okay,” was the reply. How depressing. The purpose of the whole event was only partially achieved at the very end of the day. Sometimes wonder, are we not required to share the knowledge on how to prevent self from being the victims of the crimes, simply because some of them are not the official residents despite the fact that they are living within the same boundaries as we do? Does the cultural difference still apply when it comes to human lives? Is there any law or statement which states that only the people of our own should be warned on the possible life-threatening incidents? Then again, are we not all from the same species after all? It is such an irony that the speaker actually failed to carry out the duty assigned, in terms of both crime prevention and the speaker’s job itself. Perhaps this simply reflects how people tend to be biased across many situations, though many may have claimed to be the opposite. It may be due to the speaker’s inability to speak fluent international language, or maybe not. All and all, it is never possible to fair to everyone around us, ever, because the degree to it does vary. At the end of the day, some might not even have the chance to be briefed on all these life-risking possibilities, where the “prevention is better than cure” fails, due to the limitations set onto it by us the biased creatures.

The Ruler

2010-10-20T12:40:00.000+08:00

Every now and then we receive news on our kind being attcked by wild animals, which then provoke certain parts of the existing society and request for “justice” to be done. An eye for an eye, they say. Nonetheless, is death not part of the food chain created by Mother Nature herself? Do our actions in seek for vengeance not mean us going against the nature law? Or perhaps the fact that we go after the murderer in disguise is indeed part of the food web itself? Justification for our purpose of hunting may be based on territory invasion, stating that if the animals did not cross the borderline in the first place, the killing could have been prevented. But, who has the right to state which land belongs to which species? We claim ourselves to be the smartest species on Earth as compared to all, due to the higher ability and capability in performing tasks. We claim to have owned and ruled this very land, simply because we are able to speak while the animals don’t. The truth is, do we really? Of whose boundary that the animals have crossed without asking for permission? Or perhaps we should say, of whose boundary that we are crossing without permission? Our population may be huge, but it certainly doesn’t mean we own the land, because the fact is, we just don’t. It is simply our perception, that since we have higher capability which allows us outsmart other species, we can label ourselves as the ruler for this very planet.

火与碳

2010-10-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

当两人的爱情刚开始起跑，之间的情感可说是有别于一般的炽热，好比众人口中的“热情如火”一词。然而，此梦幻般的甜蜜平均不过足以维持一百天，过后的发展则事在人为。或许我们会埋怨说对方是如此的不善于表达内心感受，导致我们不时觉得缺乏安全感。也许我们会诉说今日无法与昔日比较，只因身边的他仿佛换成另一个人，过去的体贴与甜言不再回响于耳边。曾经拥有的火热，此时此刻竟不胜于街边的一盏小灯。但是，两人之间的感情难道就这么失去光芒，其中的温度就这么流失吗？既然爱是多元化的情，表达方式自然也有不同的手法待我们去学习与揭晓。好比两人的情感是堆燃烧中的火碳，起初所生的火虽小，可却能随着时间的流失逐渐扩大其燃烧范围，后失去让人耀眼的火焰，形成一堆毫不起眼的灰碳。然而如此，这并不意味着火焰无法重生，因为火种仍健在，不过是需要外来的助力以便再次展现昔日的光彩。看似死气沉沉的灰碳在微风的鼓舞下亦能再度精神焕发而持续的燃烧。人与人之间也能一样。与其我们不停展望对方采取行动好让两人之间的感情重燃火焰，不如静下心来思考事态是否果真如此严重，还是一切终究是内心的贪念所致，不满对方没有作出更为明显、更为特出及意料之外的举止以搏我们欢心。或许是我们主动采取行动的时候了也说不定。两人相处得再火热，到头来也抵不过时间以及习惯成自然的摧熬，成为灰碳；以温馨却不显眼的举止取代了甜言蜜语。火焰虽然耀眼，其寿命却无比短暂；灰碳看似落寞，却散发着强大的能量并持有燃起火焰的能力。碳中有火，火中无碳；是火是碳，始终因人而异。

Towel

2010-10-02T20:27:00.001+08:00

Unfamiliar information or situation makes us feel uneasy and insecure at times, in which is rather common. Nevertheless, actions can be taken to deal with such insecurity using resources available in the surrounding. For example, one person forgotten to bring his towel and is in need to take a shower, yet there is no towel available for sale or rent. With only one face towel in hand, he decided to use the face towel instead. Perhaps some may say that the face towel is pretty much useless as it is not sufficient enough to dry the entire body. Is it? Or is it not? Indeed, the surface area might be smaller as compared to a towel. However, it does not mean that it is not capable performing the task given. All it needs is an extra push, or a different way to carry out what is required to be done. Improvise the steps to dry ourselves up using a towel with the area of 300 centimetres; squeeze the towel every now and then before continuing the action of drying ourselves up. It might be inconvenient or troublesome to be repeating the same step over and over again just to achieve one goal. Nonetheless, by doing so we are able to achieve our goals during the most desperate situation. We might have been over-pampered by the latest technology and convenience created, hence forgotten about how it was like back in the older days where we had to walk for miles in order to obtain a bucket of water. Perhaps we simply do not like complicated or repetitive procedures, that we tend to get bored easily. Whichever it may be, decisions as such are unavoidable at times during our entire life span. In the end, it is our determination which would decide how we take charge of our lives; to do, or not to do it, the complicated style during the most needed moments.

Desired Attention

2010-09-21T21:47:00.000+08:00

Since childhood, there are dozens of drama series which portray the need for attention in human beings, in which most of the time is through relationship between nonhuman spirits and mankind. The script writers have put it in such a way that even living nonhuman beings possess somewhat similar emotions as compared to humans, which makes them whole and living. With the intention of reflecting us mankind’s characteristics perhaps, it is rather common to see how often the nonhuman spirits would fall for mankind who expresses care or offers help at particular crucial time frame, especially when they least expect attention from those who they perceived as higher ranked or different. This reflects our desire for attention, one way or another, regardless the fact that we may already have sufficient attention or, deprived of some spotlight, which further explain why some people would go head over heels when their crush look them in the eyes and smile. Certainly, there are the various degrees and types of attention exist, where different individuals would be in search of different levels of need. Nonetheless, is the attention given by particular being the one we truly need? Could it somehow be the self-created illusion in which to satisfy or perhaps, giving us hopes that we may still stand a chance? What could be the final result to the attention seeking behaviour we have in us? The answer lays still in our hand.

Seasonal Repetition

2010-08-31T21:17:00.000+08:00

Wonder if it is the season that leads to more surfacing of sensitive issues on the news and through media. It is rather hilarious that some people always assume self to be at a higher status among the society, and not remember the fact that we are all equal and deserve the rights to be treated fairly. Perhaps it is as simple as our nature of marking own territory in ensuring survival, that we somehow manage to claim particular area or item as ours, though it might not belong to anyone in the first place. Perhaps it is our inborn competitiveness that we always want to be ahead of others and thus, trying to be on top of everyone else by conquering more areas or even people’s hearts. Nonetheless, it is such contradicting situation where most of us cannot get along well with each other despite the idea of all as one which has been launched months ago. Nobody likes to live their lives in constant arguments and disharmony, or at least not all of us do. However, with our distinctive ideas of tolerance and bonding, it is rather difficult to have everyone comes down as one and share the same view towards future, as it requires mutual commitment instead of just one. Come to think of it, do the similar frustrating and heartbreaking incidents not take place during the usual days as well?

Concrete & Abstract

2010-08-14T22:36:00.002+08:00

Extra knowledge gained days ago during dinner, being reminded on how dangerous an abstraction can be. Some of us may have been thought to be optimistic, especially when it comes to our future, that we shall never back down from any obstacles encountered, but to carry on with what our hearts desire most. Nevertheless, it is also important whether we have or, are willing to put in efforts in order to make things work, as the wildest dream would still require us to start from a single scratch. We let our imaginations run wild, and be as creative as possible, reaching out of the box as many have said. But frankly speaking, how often do we question the success rate behind all dreams? How frequent do we dream while in the same time looking back into the reality and check on the possibilities? It was definitely a valuable lesson learned; that regardless how much we are to think abstractly, we would nonetheless have to place the thoughts onto something concrete in order to succeed.

Treadmill

2010-07-29T17:56:00.002+08:00

It has been one of the few requirements in setting an effective goal that we need to include specific time frame in carrying out the task. Indeed, it helps in reminding us to keep track of our work in achieving the goal, allowing us to manage our time well enough and so to be more efficient. Nevertheless, does that mean we would be able to enjoy the process in the same time? Running on the treadmill, the mind wandered, constantly looking at the timer every now and then, waiting for the cue digits to stop that particular activity. The objective was there, and same goes to the time, where the goal was then achieved. Yet, something else was missing. It was more of racing with time and counting down to the end of the particular goal instead of enjoying the process of running. Is the time a factor to push people function beyond their limits or it acts as a form of boundary itself onto a person’s ability? Perhaps it depends on the individual’s capability of multitasking; achieving goal and enjoys the process in the same time. Perhaps it simply relies on the perspectives chosen in viewing the matters. As the endless belt goes, the pace starts taking over. A force pushes the body to move forward, but does the mind and soul move along as well? God knows.

Bell Curves

2010-07-24T21:56:00.000+08:00

Despite the fact that we are all different from one and another in some way, some of us may still in search of how unique we can be, wondering about our very own functions and impacts onto this universe, where some even go up to the point of trying to outstand the crowd by pushing oneself to the extreme end of the curve. It is true that the grass at the other ends always seem to be greener, but what a bell curve presents of course has its limited perspectives, as it does not necessarily portray every single point of view exists on this very Earth. Is being categorized under the mean scores make us that non-common? Or is it as simple as we’ve missed out other bell curves which are lying right in front of us, and are responsible of displaying our differences? Many times we tend to overlook whatever that is available. Could it be our trained behaviour of focusing on single task or item which has caused us in behaving so? Or perhaps it is the fact that we simply want to be unique in every way that we try to ensure our uniqueness across all bell curves? Personally, what makes us different is the fact that we have different placing in all bell curves that exist, which then creates the various codes, allowing us to be individuals instead of one single common living being. All and all, being in either extreme ends across all matters simply make us dull and unprogressive. Well, it is all about the balance of life after all.

水面

2010-07-01T23:16:00.001+08:00

表面上看似平静的湖亦有出现阵阵涟漪的时候，只因其内含有各式生物不停的游动。即使稍有静止的时刻，也不过是短暂的瞬间。不同的观念造就不同的要求，不同的期望推动不同的灵魂。然而，试问尚有多少能了解其间的差异？时间的转动或会影响水面上的不规律，让其中的世界经历一次又一次的更新，踏上一路接一路的迷蒙。于外人眼中，所见的未必是里头的所有，而是外观上的改变。有人会对湖面的皱纹产生兴趣，企图了解其中的原理，甚至舍身入内一探另类的生命；有人或带有好奇心，却不多言，待涟漪散去方抽离身影；有人则单凭自己的思绪，尝试灌入新生物于该湖水中，企图制止那不规律的纹路。相同的，有人在意湖面涟漪的由来，亦有人对其震荡抱有不满，仿佛万静皆是美，也唯有静止能带出更美好的景色。水面上的波动或会令人懊恼让人忧，然而如此，若要铲除里头的生命链以让该湖面保持永久性的平静，那么，湖不再是湖，而是一滩难以瓢干的死水。

Barter System

2010-07-01T22:26:00.000+08:00

When we are in need of something which another person is able to provide, and in the same time we possess what that individual is in search for, trading will then be done for separate redemption. Demands give birth to production and desires lead to actions taken. At times we may be whining on our efforts put into particular doings such as keeping in touch with specific social group, which may cost up to certain amount of credit used. Nevertheless, how often does it cross our minds that the opposite parties might also be paying the price of their own in continuing the conversation, contributing to the act of maintaining the bonds in between? It is hilarious to see how we tend to focus on the negative side of the story being told instead of the positive, and how we like to present ourselves in the most favourable light by stating how much we have been mistreated. Perhaps there may be the perceived unjust throughout the negotiation in exchanging the goods, where we always wonder why we should engage into the first move and not the other party. Perhaps there are the times where we secretly cheer for our profits, thanks to the newbies we've met half way through the journey that we are able to obtain what we long for, assuming them not know our tricks behind the deal when they actually do. Perhaps there might be many other incidents and emotions involved in this particular system, many stories untold or not know where and who to share with, waiting for the moment to unfold whatever we wish to unfold. All and all, regardless the items traded are desirable or not, when we have a look at the processes in between, we might just find ourselves something new, and different.

19062009

2010-06-19T10:11:00.002+08:00

人生得一知己足矣，斯世，当同怀视之。

The definition of good and best friends varies from one individual to another, depending on the person's core value of belief. Across the developing stages, incidents taken place, hence the change of perception and definition for many truths one heart holds. Once thought it will be more than impossible to obtain long lasting friendship and, a friend to share the many burdens and expressions with, until the day two distinctive souls come to a meeting point. Throughout the one year journey of life, we've taken on the roller coaster rides, where there are the ups and downs, where the time spent together creates the wonderful memories we treasure most; the first handmade gift, the company during the rainy days, the smile from the bottom of the heart, the crazy ideas on new experiences and the list goes on. 365 days are not the reasons to close bonding, but the quality moments shared between one and another; 8760 hours do not directly link to the quality moments spent, but the committment of two separate individuals; 525600 minutes do not guarantee the committment to closer bonds, but the attitude and trust lie within, thus the 31536000 seconds of wonderful friendship.

曾几何时，有人告诉我蓝颜知己并不存在。

如今，我却证实了他的观念是错误的。

I am glad we have met, and found each other across this very crowd.

Magnifying Media

2010-06-13T22:34:00.001+08:00

Sometimes wonder what the original objective of having media was; to help bringing the focus onto disasters and sorrow perhaps? Or to widen up the general knowledge one possesses. Whatever the reason was, the impact of media is definitely noticeable, especially in the current society. It is so great that many tend to assume whatever the media is publishing in the news seem to be the only significant incidents in which are taking place, not remembering the fact that they may simply be the one small corner of the entire ice berg. Let's assume that one of the few objectives of having media is to spread the awareness on somehow or extremely rare cases such as psycho on street takes out several lives. Does that mean all psycho on Earth kill? No. It's funny to see how the media deviates its original path from reporting the truth to instilling the wrong impression towards particular groups into public. Perhaps it is their mistake of not publishing the actual percentage of certain incidents such as plane clash. Perhaps we as audiences are responsible to search and know well that whatever is on the news does not represent the entire human race. Perhaps we simply have to acknowlege media's strength in hypnotizing and or influencing our cognition. How ironic to see the least happened incidents overtake the rest which are frequently taking place, where everyone focuses mainly on the uncommon cases instead of those majorly in need of attention and actions.

喜新念旧

2010-06-11T09:38:00.000+08:00

坐在车中静听着收音机播放的歌曲，思绪不禁被拉入电视剧里头的某些画面。由古至今，人类不断创新，以随着想象力更新所谓的生活水平。日新月异，适者生存；不及时代变迁则不及众人所盼，不及世人所望则不及内心所需。不及则不适，不适则不实；此观念近能于万人中所揭，一切不外是隐形压力所施。然而如此，喜新厌旧一词并未能大众化，只因仍有少数展开寻旧之旅，以固定喜好为标，收集陈年旧物。人与人之间的交流也不过如此。不同的经历造就不同心灵所需及要求，致使社交圈子的变动。年龄的增长，改变了朋友的定义，视野的扩增改变了做人处事的道理。当一人由人生一站移迁至下一站，所能携带在身的除了回忆尚是回忆。即使懊恨，我们不企图改变过去，而是利用现有的醒悟尝试改写未来，只因再丑恶的往事仍有最美丽的画面，再憧憬的未来尚有令人懊恼的未知数。喜新皆为平凡，厌与念则为一线之差。

Take A Break

2010-06-10T11:59:00.001+08:00

At times we care so much about what the others might think of us that we tend not to be the usual self. From time to time, we are in seek of a place, a person or an object in which we can remove the hundreds masks, and greedily gasp for the long lost fresh air, and peace. Sometimes we can be so dependent to the point we ignore constructive advice from inner self and from others, where we may regret of behaving so when looking into the reflection from the past. How often do we want to be stronger and carry out the tasks assigned by life and fate with no questions asked? How frequent does it come across the mind that we are not as tough as we wish or expected to be? Listening to the rhythm produced by the rain drops hitting onto all surfaces, the mind retreats to a different world, where all thoughts entangled together as one and the body stops receiving orders from the brain, All movements in the universe stop, left only the 'moving chest'. It is somewhat good when we have allocated time for pauses as such, a break from busy schedules and constant input from obstacles and difficulties, with the price of being demotivated to get up once more. What are the reasons behind the so called hard work when we are actually looking for personal time slot to sit down and free ourselves from many other issues outside the very door? How do we even be stronger seeing that we do not allow our mind and body to take a break from many hassles? Why do we expect independence when we are obviously in need of support? Perhaps that simply shows how greedy and naive we can be at times, or perhaps, it proves how ambitious we are. Be stronger and more independent, it is about time.

Valid Experiences

2010-05-29T19:47:00.002+08:00

While we are trekking inside a jungle for the very first time, we would usually watch our feet as we cut through the forest in hope of reaching final destination; hence less attention is paid onto the surrounding beauty. To and fro the journey, there aren’t many changes in terms of the way we explore the woods, other than the slight increase in speed, with little running and jumping through the paths and across river stones. Nevertheless, we still pay more attention to the possible obstacles within the jungle as we cut it across, and not putting more effort into recognizing the surrounding in case we get lost, or to admire the nature and enjoy the fresh air it provides. Perhaps we subconsciously know that all we have to do is to follow the trail people before us have left us, and that we are not required to put in extra effort in finding our ways in and out. Perhaps we are more cautious on safety measure in terms of possible injuries and not the probability of getting lost within the forest. Perhaps we simply want to complete the task in hand instead of enjoy it to the fullest. Come to think of it, do we not tend to focus on the difficulty of an ongoing task instead of the process in achieving it as well? Do we not wish to accomplish the work we are assigned to as soon as possible instead of wondering about the possible benefits behind? Then, are the experiences we’ve had valid at all? To a certain degree probably, it depends, really.

解决 . 逃避

2010-04-28T19:29:00.000+08:00

当脑里存有无数的不确定，思绪也自然而然变得混淆、迷惑。一旦心中藏有过多的不解与迟疑，面部神情亦随而之改变，显得较为忧郁，或平静。也许人们自身并不喜欢持续的被裹于神秘感里，或者是我们终究抵挡不住那份强烈的求知欲，进而尝试寻找所谓真相以一解内心疑问，取得短暂安宁。然而如此，其过程中所牵涉的又是否如想象般容易面对？无数的问题停留在嘴边，久久未能言语，困于后退与前进两者之间，犹豫不定。过量的探讨或会影响抉择后的感受，却总是成为众人所采用的方式以解除一切忧虑，望能取得所谓的品质保证，虽说其机率是何等的渺茫。惯用的解决技巧看在他人眼里或皆属逃离事实之计，仍得掌握的尚有千万里之远，仿佛遥不可及。日后将会发生的又会是如何？有待揭晓。

Hypnotizability

2010-04-18T10:53:00.000+08:00

It is one stereotype that many assume all psychologists read minds, and the syllabus covers mainly on how to psycho people, attacking their thoughts. Personally have one unique view on matter as such, people generally have the talent in hypnotization, but require guidance in maximising the effect onto the surrounding individuals. What is the general definition of "hypnotization" anyway? Perhaps the process of directing a person to the subconscious in retrieving particular information which is not stored in the conscious mind? Or perhaps a trick to take an individual off the conscious mind and hence listen to whatever instructions given by the so called master? How about the daily incidents where people set boundaries on their capability, therefore limiting their very own achievement? Take a look back then, how often do we tell ourselves or others on what is achievable and what is not? Are those not hypnotization in different forms? Putting in social theories in explaining the effects stated above: when a stimulus is constantly shown, the belief on particular subject is then strengthened. In short, the priming effect. The increase of availability somehow shape or even change our perception on certain view. Therefore, hypnotization is a skill in which implemented through the developmental process and shaped by the social cognition, and it is certainly not available only among the psychologists. Now, how interesting this is to sleep on.

Self-Advertising

2010-03-17T09:33:00.001+08:00

Very often we brag about our experiences, exaggerating them in fear of not having someone to acknowledge us. Well, maybe it does not apply to all, but there are indeed those who would engage in activities as such in order to boost their fame among the social circle. At times we promote ourselves as we interact with others, through the words spoken and ideas shared, not necessarily in exchange for money but the little satisfaction on our perceived recognition from the peers or even family members. As we speak, we are giving people a rough idea on how our personality is like and from there we know whether both parties are able to click on as time goes by. As we share our knowledge or experiences, be it revolves around us or the circle involved, we advertise our perspectives in search for those who agree to our proposals and join in the forces. We have those who are willing to insult their friends just so to create the comparison that they are of higher quality and we have people who try to amaze the friends through ridiculous story plots so others would find them spectacular. Nevertheless, the intention of advertising own self may result in irreversible side effects such as the loss of faith and trust, if and only if, we fail to do it the right way. Then again, the definition of appropriate advertisement varies across individuals.

Responsibility

2010-03-10T15:33:00.000+08:00

Unwanted incident happens, though it can always be avoided when precautions are taken. Nevertheless, it requires both parties to work mutually only then accidents can be prevented, instead of just one. Taking car accident as an example, one person may be a safe driver and always look out for possible danger on the road, but, accident still occurs when another individual who is drunk and fails to stop eventually hit the car of that particular person. Putting who-is-at-fault issue aside, no one wanted to be involved in any car wrecks from the very beginning, but with only one side taking the precaution to avoid undesired incidents taking place is not sufficient enough to actually prevent accidents from happening. It is our responsible to make sure things are on track, to push ourselves further for the better and to accept the outcomes of the decisions made. However, people interpret the term ‘responsibility’ differently; dealing with the circumstances of previous choices made, blaming oneself for the occurrence of unwanted incidents, improving for the better in ensuring one’s success et cetera. Certainly, some may see all the actions mentioned above as a whole, as it fits onto the common senses we develop overtime on how to be responsible for the options taken, but for sure there is the one particular act which we prefer or tend to be engaged in. One important question lies within our responsibility and that is; what is the main reason we choose to be responsible over our actions? Do we do it for the sake of accepting the fact that it has already happened? Does our responsibility mean we acknowledge our fault and get upset? Or do we improvise and figure a better ways of solving problems in case something similar takes place again in the near future? Getting stuck in the past does not bring us forward, neither does spending whole day wondering about future helps improving ourselves, but only when we realise the present and come up with a proposal to how things should be done that we can and able to change our lives, hence marching towards brighter future.

Perceived Space

2010-03-04T19:26:00.001+08:00

Have you ever felt the time passes way slower when you’re driving on medium road as compared to highway, though it’s about the same hours spent? Have you ever felt suffocating in a limited space which only allows little movements, as though you’re trapped and will never be freed? There are different kinds of space exist around us, both literally and verbally defined. It is somewhat funny to see how often we perceive the sufficient physiological space as insufficient psychological space available. Perhaps we simply ask for more when we have our basic needs satisfied, perhaps we are born to aim for more secured environment or perhaps we feel threatened at the intrusion of others which we least expected or even, the most desired ones. At times we feel lonely at people’s absence, as though there’s too much space for ourselves alone and hence, the urge to have someone filling in the blank. Nevertheless, we tend to find it stressful when the particular person does not perfectly fit in the slot as we perceived him as over-controlling and that we need fresh air coming in between, to help smoothen and freshen up everything, including the difficult times once had, forgotten about previous moments when we in need of other living beings’ presence. We reserve space for the special someone or perhaps the special group of people, but we complain on their intrusion in the same time due to the lesser personal space available; such conflicting desires, such irony.

Equation

2010-03-03T16:52:00.001+08:00

It has been quite some time now. The intrinsic motivation of writing more seems to be slowly disappearing, as there were lesser time for inspiration kicks in due to lesser personal time for day dreaming. Complicated mathematic equations no longer show up as often now ever since the psychology course takes over pre-u, until the one fine day when S:R→C sticks out from the paper. Over the time as we grow, overcoming challenges and different perceived obstacles, we develop our own schema in handling situations and even, the expectations. Perhaps an easier term can be applied in here; equation. We have different formulas for different roles which we play as, our own ways of handling difficulties and making decision. It is a very common saying, “We are all different individuals, who might share the similar thoughts but will never be exactly the same, both physically and psychologically.” The ideas we have in mind, the perception we gain through information heard and the little thoughts intervening in between are formulated in a way, but also vulnerable toward influences at the same time. One person’s solution may not be as effective when applied to another individual and certainly, we cannot simply force someone to accept and follow whatever we think is the best, though many still do without them knowing, including the person who typed this entry. Personally, it is our choice whether to apply other people’s formula into selves in which we may not be satisfied with or, to come up with our very own equation over time, for various settings and purposes. When we find alien formula unfits, just leave it aside and figure a better one because it is simply an example and guidance, but never the must-do in our lives. It is our choice indeed.

特长篇：蔚．蓝

2010-02-18T17:56:00.001+08:00

   雷电持续地恐吓着大地，利用闪闪白光照射在它那惊慌失措的脸庞，仿佛务必要它交出匿藏于身后的她。雨滴毫不留情的打在她身上，望她抵挡不住痛楚以向它俩投降，同一时间尝试淹没大地好让它失去袒护该名女童的能力。然而如此，她却不停的向前迈进，视那雷电交加的雨夜而不见，好比这一切、一切不过是人生中的小小波折，并不足以造成任何威胁。如此的黑夜往往叫人放弃所有的坚持与执着，然而凭着心中的强念，她一步接一步的跨越自己的步伐，寻找着同类的住处好能结束这么的一个旅程。

   短期浸泡在雨中犹如长年岁月，她拉紧披在身上的布料，坚定的眼神锁在那处于眼角的村庄。数间草屋散布在那山谷之间，微微烛光相比于这暴风雨的夜晚显得特别柔弱，却不失强刃的光芒，使得该村子展现着无限的温暖，向在外的游子发出请帖，好在如此咄咄逼人的气候稍作停留。一道温和的声音在她脑中回荡，告知她已抵达目的地。命运轮盘开始旋转，她将会在那村庄里等待那一天的到来。

   那山谷之间的部落乃是与世隔绝的翼雅族，深信着大自然背后存有一股莫名的力量且操纵着一切。除此之外，该族人全是年约二十的女性，更是不曾衰老或遭受病魔的侵袭。在这么一个令人哆嗦的暴风雨夜，所有族人皆聚集在伊达领导住处，想一探那气候的源头以及其讯息。在众人不住的分享个人意见时，一名女子缓缓站起，场面顿时平静下来，目光全落在她清秀的眉目，等待她发言。一头乌黑波浪似的卷发中带有银色光泽，从远处看去却像似在空中飞翔的鸟儿，眉间更是点上翼样的红点，她，就是翼雅族群的领导者--伊达。掌握了视、嗅、听、觉、解五门最高心灵境界的伊达向族人宣布它已经来到，并且是时候准备就绪。言毕，众人直视她那银白色的心灵之窗，仿佛誓下永不后退的承诺，拼死捍卫它以确保日后的安宁。

   同一时刻，惨遭雷雨围攻的女孩终于突破所有障碍出现在伊达处所，面上毫无表情，唯独先前的雨滴从她脸颊滑下，伊达用眼神指示身边两位女子向前接应，于该女孩上头划了几圈方让她们将她带往事先预备好的落脚处。待那三人消失在视线范围后，只听伊达缓缓说道：“以后我们将得一起硬闯无数关卡了，蔚。请妳务必要保持坚强以面对一切，并早日发掘妳来到这里的目的。为了所有生态，妳一定要尽快完成妳的使命。”众族人合上双眼，与伊达领导一同接受心灵上的洗礼。她发丝中的银色光泽顿时发出光芒，后慢慢扩散至整个村庄方再次消失于黑夜里。一切就要开始了。

   数日已逝，翼雅人仍在积极地训练。她们被分配成五大派系，各以自身主选的心灵境界为首要衡量标准。视者负责射击，她们凭着尖锐的眼力以及心眼的纯足以在最短的时间内击中百里外的目标，一击夺命。嗅者则善于从空气分子中取得不同讯息，例如大自然不寻常的转变以及敌人的动静。另一派系与嗅者皆属防卫刑部队，既是利用双耳听讨任何风声的听者，警觉于四周的变动。另外，此两大派系更是勤练刀剑以加强她们的防卫工作，而不时在村庄范围设下防敌阵线亦是她们的责任之一。觉者们善于战斗策略以及领悟世上万物间的真理，负责确保计划顺利进行以及将损伤率降至最低点。在众多派系中，唯独解者占最少数，主要工作是从周围的变化当中预测未来及将发生的主要事件。然而，能全然掌握五大派系的翼雅人更是少之又少，其中惟有伊达一人成功达到此境界。

   在众多乌黑长发中，蔚的深蓝色短发显得特别出众，陪伴在她身旁的则是伊达领导，两人一同望着略带紫红的天空，各带心事般久不言语。犹如孩童一样，蔚看着高自己一个身栽的领导问道：“为何天空不再是蓝天？”无法告诉她背后所有真相的伊达静静的注视着蔚，柔和中带点哀叹地回说日后一切自会清楚了然。在蔚居住于翼雅村的这些日子里，她不时与五大派系学习各强项与技巧，甚至和伊达一同锻炼武艺。即使伊达心中比任何人都清楚蔚真正需要的不是武功，却仍要她学会翼雅的所有，好让她日后多少能抵抗外来的袭击。时间之流沙逐渐的被卷入那无底洞，一去不回头，在世界另一端的他们也同样的开始采取行动，企图从她们手中夺得元素之首的它。

   自千年以来，处处与翼雅族对抗的添吼组织想尽办法取得她们守护的灵素以掌控那莫名无敌的大自然能量。所谓灵素既是世界所有元素交叉而产生的素体，其能力足以平衡万物间的不一以保持所有生态的安宁。然而，灵素于每世纪便会逝去，剩下酷似人体的躯壳以及丁点的意识好让该人体能自动返回翼雅村庄直至灵素再次诞生。直到灵素再生，那所剩的躯壳则被称为“蔚”。在一切未成定局前，失去首领的元素将会分成两大帮派，一是协助灵素的诞生，一是被添吼组织提出的条件所诱惑与翼雅为敌。当然，元素们只能在蔚未达到翼雅村前出动以阻扰她前进，之后则不得干涉任何进展，除非它已重生。万物之间不再和谐，阴阳区分有别，元素间的意见不一最后改变原先世界的面貌，天空不再是晴天，万物皆不得安宁，直至它的再现以平定一切。

   黑野看着取代蓝天的紫红，按耐不住心中的激情与兴奋打从心底发笑。“终于等到这一天的到来了，她真的有父亲说得那么强劲吗？当我掌控了它又会怎样呢？”手轻轻一拨他那紫红色的短发，转身面对他从世界各地寻得的特出兵队，个个身材魁梧且拥有强大劲力，更是凶残不已，誓必将敌人灭绝方罢休。一个手势，全队伍准备听令，以整齐的步伐进入战斗机内往南飞去。

   在翼雅村里，蔚注视着湖中央尝试聆听其间的窃窃私语。不知不觉她已逗留了一星期，在这段期间更是不时听到不同的声音，仿佛要告知她某些重要事件。此外，不少奇异事故亦发生于她身上，例如，不小心碰到火焰的蔚竟然不留任何伤疤，更没能感觉其热能。轻轻在水面上一划，小小的漩涡便会成形，持上数分钟之久。最让人摸不着头脑的是，即使她将这些如此怪异之事告知伊达或任何翼雅族人，她们非但没表露丝毫惊讶，反而相当的庆幸与开心。摇一摇头，蔚尝试摆脱脑中的种种疑问，继续专注于聆听，想诠释环境所带来的讯息，只因她打从昨日至今总是有股不安的念头，仿佛在不久后的日子将会发生惨痛事件。殊不知，数架载满斗气高昂且满手血腥战士的飞行物正逐步接近翼雅山谷，准备展开血流成河的战斗。黑野望着窗外的青山，暗誓要完成数代传达下来的使命以获得那能力无穷的元素之首--灵素，毕竟这一切经已用上无数的岁月，是时候终止一切及掌控强大的权势了。

   黑夜降临，嗅者与听者一如往常地在山谷四周插下棒之物体以作防敌效用。此棒体将会频频发出刺耳声波，使怀有恶意人士不得动弹，在不对外界造成任何伤害的情况下防止无关人士发现或来到翼雅村庄。然而如此，黑夜对此防范之举早有对抗方法。当添吼组织依照着黑野父亲留下的地图来到翼雅村万里外的山谷，他们启动战斗机上的自我保护程式，利用一层肉眼看不见的膜阻止视、嗅、听者们察觉到他们的入侵。来到翼雅村上方，数位添吼战士用更为强大的声波发射机破坏她们原先所设的防敌阵线。一声巨响，棒体已被破碎。翼雅族人发现事态变化之时，一切都太迟了。添吼战士由空而降，来到了她们的面前。觉者发出号令以告知所有翼雅勇士准备作战，毫不迟疑的，她们取出早已佩戴在身边的武器，迎向身材更为魁梧的添吼战士们。坚定的眼神对上信心十足的奸笑，各方使尽浑身气力，挥下开战的第一刀。

   站岗与四处的听者们取出数支箭靶朝空中射去，有如化成雨中的水滴从天而降洒在敌人身上，拿下了部分添吼战士的性命。红色液体从他们的伤口溅出，喷在翼雅族人的脸上，象征着她们短暂性的胜利。拖着沉重的剑，带着轻盈的步伐，她们继续向前冲刺，聆听着觉者们的战斗策略，一刀接一刀的切开添吼成员的肉体，将他们击倒在地。数名翼雅勇士亦在此战场中遭受敌人围攻不支倒地，后赔上了性命，化成一缕云烟，消失于这世上，留下不得继续守护它的遗憾。黑野从战斗机上看着双方的人力损失，在人群中寻找着她与它的踪影，既是父亲口中头发含有有如飞鸟银色光泽的伊达以及身为元素之首的女孩。

   此时此刻，伊达正安排着蔚的避难通道，吩咐一名听者随身守护好让她不在成为灵素前被添吼所得，毁了世界安宁。待蔚消失于秘密通道后，伊达带着长剑走出了她的处所。借助经已倒地的敌人躯体，伊达轻轻一跃，朝黑野所处的战斗机上冲去，而他也满容欢笑的握着手中的大刀跳机应战。阴阳相碰，正邪交锋，两名首领的刀刃在空中划出了火花，于黑夜里擦出短暂的光明。

   蔚尾随着该名听者来到了翼雅村的另一端，尚未逃离山谷范围，一名壮汉出现在她们眼前，身穿紧衣展现其魁梧的身形，光秃秃的头部亦反射着天上的明月。听者作势准备攻击，却不及大汉快速，冷不防的已被他高举空中。在她未能呼喊要求蔚自行逃命时，该名大汉举起一只脚，将她用力地往下一敲，令人闻之痛心的骨折声于山谷中回响，痛喊声久久未能散去，后寂静。目睹这一切的蔚顿时傻眼不得动弹，看着为了保护她而丧命的听者随风飘去，一股强烈的自责心涌上心头，呼醒了沉睡于肉体的莫名能量。乌黑明亮的双眼转变成令人不寒而栗的冰蓝，而其深蓝色的短发在月光下更是显得亮丽及冷酷。如今耳边的数把声音更是清晰了，个个元素正告诉她使用其力量的方式。灵素--蓝经已诞生。

   望着眼前的壮汉，蓝的五指朝上，一道火焰顿时在她手心中成形。由下往上的狠狠割去，火柱即时出现在她眼前，将该名大汉锁在其中燃烧。一团黑影在火柱里头作垂死挣扎，看在蓝的眼里却远不足逝去的听者生前所经历般惨痛。往身后一转，剑击与箭击声不断传入耳里，刀剑的撞击更是让翼雅村在黑暗中发出道道光芒。冰蓝的双眼不禁流露出伤痛，加强了蓝一心想要停止所有纠纷及维持安宁的意念。一阵强风刮起，慢慢的把蓝带离地面，朝那光芒的来源飘去。

   正在奋斗的翼雅族感应到蓝的转变，心中深感高兴，更是激情的与添吼成员对抗。伊达眼中的笑意看在黑野眼里尽是挑起了他愤怒的神经，只因取得灵素的机会更为渺小了，加上伊达果真有父亲所说的强劲，甚至比想象中厉害。伊达察觉到黑野开始质疑自己的能力并趁他注意力稍微被分散时将他打下地面。狠狠的一击叫他吐出几口鲜红的血液，胸口仿佛决裂般的疼痛让他久久不得动弹。他利用大刀的扶持虚弱的站起，企图继续与伊达及其族人厮杀，然而他之前所带来的兵力如今只剩数十名，相比于翼雅族则是以一对十。

   忽然，湖中的水往上喷射，在空中形成漩涡，而蓝就站在上方，冷酷的蓝眼直视黑野，叫他不禁哆嗦。大地开始崩裂，将死去的添吼成员尸首吞噬，后再次合拼，留下翼雅勇士以及仍活命的黑野与手下。“灵素之名乃意味着自身有灵且不受任何第三者操控，就凭你对权势的贪又怎能将我占为己有？”蓝言毕，手指向前方，该漩涡朝黑野等人迈进将他们卷入。部分添吼成员尝试逃生，不料寒风来袭，将漩涡连同里头的生物凝结成冰。伊达与其他翼雅族人表露出安慰，庆幸一切终已结束。只见蓝轻轻站在冰冻的漩涡上，该冰体立即破裂，粉碎于地面，后遭沙石所掩盖，消失于视线范围。

   蓝踏着脚下的风来到伊达眼前，感谢她与族人多日来的守护。后挥一挥手，之前因斗争而遭受破坏的草木重新长出幼苗。“万物间的再生是何等的美好，总会在最绝望的时候给予希望与重生。虽说未必与先前的生命相似，但是却不时创出更美丽的前景，这方是世上最强大的力量。然而如此，世上愚蠢的人们却不知其重要性，只懂得争取短暂性的光辉，没能看见已停留在身边的美好。”蓝慢慢地说道，然后闭上眼睛化身成多只萤火虫随风散去。被萤火碰触的湖面、树木及土地顿时发出光芒，后出现十来个球体，里头各装有年约十五的黑发女孩。泡沫破开，女孩们同时睁开双眼，尾随着伊达与翼雅勇士们回到处所。隔天，蓝天再现，大地亦唱着生命之歌，仿佛在庆祝安宁的到来，而翼雅村里，女孩们正学习着战斗，为百年后的斗争而作好准备。

No Boundary

2010-01-18T21:37:00.000+08:00

At times we are asked to believe in many things that sometimes we ourselves not even sure whether we should be, until the day we are being approached and touched, hence strengthening the faith and carry on. Nevertheless, it strictly depends on the issue involved, including the sensitive ones. One of the very few topics which has been pretty disturbing and confusing is that it seems to be a must to take side most of the time, though it appears to be and is a choice to be made whether we choose to fully commit in either side, never the both somehow. Neutral is never an option. Well, at least this is the message that seems to be passing around in the recent days. There are the times when everything has its pros and cons, and we are the ones who are responsible in picking the best out of the choices available. Nevertheless, what if we have the chance to extract the pros from the options presented in sight and compile them altogether as one, in us? What if we get to benefit ourselves and then the people around us simply by learning and applying the teaching we received from the two distinct worlds? We may be greedy for having to enjoy from the best of both worlds, we might be irresponsible for not able to commit entirely in one and only one colony and we probably be labeled as ‘no boundary’ simply due to the fact that we are being neutral, trying to learn more by not taking sides and being biased; still, as long as it means no harm to anybody or anything and it is not against our very own principles, it is certainly acceptable. We know nature or nurture alone does not play the entire role in shaping our behaviours and personalities, so how sure are we that 100% serving in one particular side is any better? Pure breed may be pedigree but extreme behaviour is not necessarily an advantage. Similarly, no-boundary does not give us any reason to go against the concept simply because we’re not part of it. It is how much we learn from making a decision that counts, as it is not the belief that matters at times, but the teaching within.

Commercialised Children

2010-01-03T12:41:00.003+08:00

Looking at the two 9 year old girls competing with each other in the screen, where both trying their very best not in performing their skills but to act like an adult, showing the so called high self confidence by insulting one and another’s performance, claiming themselves to be of the higher level, we couldn’t help it but to shake our heads. Seriously, the children these days often come in packages, from the adult-like physical appearance minus off body figure, to the abilities in various fields such as singing, dancing and even mimicking. It is as though meeting the criteria above has become the only way to ensure children’s brighter future; otherwise, they do not survive or stand out among the crowd. Come to think of it, how often do we not attracted to the children who start showing incredible dance moves on stage and winking non-stop as though all opposite sex will for sure fall for them? How often do we actually look at a child and be amazed by him or her for being ordinary and living a normal childhood life, instead of attending different classes for academic and performing arts at the age of 5? Somehow it seems to be great to have children behaving like adults, both appearance and ability wise, with less thoughts given to them behaving like children can be great too. Is this a form of condition to prove how advanced we human beings are, by having the children acting like adults and adults continue behaving like one too? Is commercialising the only way to be outstanding and bring happiness to children, or it is the fastest way of getting us the adults big bucks and fame instead? We may be saying how well we know our children, we might be trying to convince them on the benefits they are getting in the future simply by following our sayings and we probably be telling many others we are simply doing it for the well being of the children. Nevertheless, their thoughts should be taken into account as it is their lives we’re making decision for, not just any of wooden puppet we created out of woodblock.

Right & Wrong

2010-01-03T11:32:00.000+08:00

What do we really expect to hear as we share our little issues and thoughts with the people around us? What do we want to hear the most as we express ourselves; the supporting statements or perspectives against ours? How often do we actually listen to what the others have to say and weigh the significance of their opinions? At times we can be so blind and deaf that we do not see how things are linked altogether, does not matter whether the one decision we made eventually leads to something awful or the opposite. Some of us dislike judgement as we find it unfair, even if we were the ones who seek for advice from others in the first place and eventually label those ideas as judgements when we find them unfit to our own theories. Some of us don’t know what to expect and what to do even if we’ve collected dozens of suggestions regarding the issues we’ve put up as we fail to differentiate the right from wrong and the wrong from right. Some of us simply want to share the problems which have been very disturbing instead of looking for solutions to completely get rid of them; a way to temporarily clear our mind. There are the times when we refuse to admit our wrong or even the more negative part of us, as we try to please the others and amaze them perhaps, just so to have them find us cool and great; hence, the attention. There are the times when we simply find it wrong to comment on others that they are wrong and always have been, as it seems to be the wrong manner if we do not acknowledge people’s own thoughts to their own problems and to have them agree to ours instead. It is as simple as us finding our decisions right at all times, when we are highly self-centred especially, that we find it hard to accept the right comments regarding our behaviours and beliefs which may and can be wrong at times. Not that it’s something unusual but common enough to find such phenomenon taking place around us, including ourselves.

Highway at Night

2009-12-23T12:27:00.001+08:00

As we staring at the other side of the glass on the way to Perak, seeing the cars overtaking us, we somehow noticed the cars which were coming from the opposite direction always seem to be faster as compared to those hitting on the same road as us. Personally does not know the scientific explanation behind that particular phenomenon, but it somehow applies to our daily lifestyle in a way. How often do we look at the others and start telling ourselves how good they are and how terrible we are? How often do we actually look at our own strengths instead of comparing ourselves with the rest of the world based on our weaknesses? When we look at other people’s achievements, we may be comparing the levels between ours and theirs, instead of judging our own doings from the view of third party and see how far we’ve strike since the last accomplishment. Just like when we are travelling at the highway, we see cars from the opposite direction to be faster but visible, that we always seem to be taking note of other people’s speed in moving towards their own destination. However, we often find the cars which are heading down the same road as us to be slow, though less visible, that we always seem to be forgetting of our own achievement and speed towards our goal. Perhaps it is time for a change, to have a look at our strengths instead of other people’s and compare with ourselves instead of others.

Within & Outside the Box

2009-12-23T10:25:00.001+08:00

Attended Buddhist camp days ago, in which changed the previous impression towards Buddhism activities. As always, they have been emphasizing on thinking out of the box, to take note of the words spoken and to find a way out by creating one apart from the rules given, et cetera. And as always, most people tend to be out of the box whenever a game is held or a task is given, to the point of negotiating with the facilitators that we’re simply playing along, to think outside the box. Ironically, when we tend to go outside the box instead of the opposite all the time, we’re actually trapped within the box already, without us knowing. It is about the same as the concept that when we hang on to something too much, we may eventually lose ourselves somewhere. There is no boundary to the knowledge we obtained, because there are the many things which are yet to be discovered down the journey of life. Therefore, the box we’re keeping ourselves in is simply smaller than the box in which we’re supposed to get into in order to solve a certain task. In another words, when we are asked to think outside the box, we are simply stepping into a bigger box instead of outside the box. Perhaps some people may not agree to this, but personally it does make sense. When we are so focus on a question, we tend to not remember to step outside the box and complete the task from another angle; nevertheless, when we are concentrating on thinking outside the box, we are actually keeping ourselves in, limiting our ways in overcoming an obstacle, in a way.

Sincere Apology

2009-12-17T09:06:00.002+08:00

It seldom comes across the mind on how often we may have hurt a person’s feelings, especially those who we are close with by the most insignificant words we’ve spoken. There are times when one might be telling how much he knows this particular person including the thoughts and emotions, nevertheless, it is undeniable that sometimes, we just don’t. Perhaps some may have taken it as one of the very few criteria to become a good friend, that they should know what to say and what not to, when to say and when not to. Still, we don’t read minds. Our perspectives may collide and our emotions may be the same at that very moment, in which then strengthens the bond in between. However, when we have contradicting ideas and cognitive states, we might even feel vulnerable and find ourselves idiotic for not noticing how much sorrow we have caused to that particular person we care, to the point of giving up perhaps. We may choose not to disturb him on the name of giving him some time to forgive our mistakes, but sometimes the truth is, we are the ones who cannot forgive ourselves instead. The guilt comes from the bottom of the heart and non-stop blaming ourselves for not being sensitive enough to understand a person, though it is highly unlikely to actually understand one human being both in and out. How often do we not speak to the person we’re too ashamed to face and wait for him to approach us first, indicating him forgiving us? How often do we not feel heartbroken and helpless thinking of the possibilities that we may have just broken the friendship built? I’m terribly sorry.

Scars

2009-12-09T19:59:00.002+08:00

Talking about attribution on the reasons which may have caused our behavior and the psychological defense mechanism such as projection and substitution, we know best what we do when we are coming across unpleasant stimuli just so to make us feel whole lot better. Every little incident has its impact onto our feelings, does not matter whether it is in a good way or bad. From time to time we are hurt by the words spoken or the message delivered, where our hearts sink and not know what or how to react for the first few seconds, then back to the reality and start wondering what we should do or should have done. Rewind our memories few years back, we start comparing how the same particular person has treated us before and after, where we will then comment on how silly and stupid it was, though it may seem to be heart-warming and joyous back then. Once read a story that a heart covers in scars is one true beauty as compared to the ones without any scratches at all. Nevertheless, personally find it hard to have one soul that is fine as though it is still new to this world and yet to experience different kinds of obstacles ahead. Perhaps we are made to forgive and not forget, or we simply do not forgive as long as we still remember the incident which occurred, not to mention we sometimes enhance our memories just so it fits onto our perspectives and our perspectives only. Perhaps we simply not wish to admit how we prone to recall the less pleasant memories on how the others have treated us and how often we have the urge to have our revenge by telling ourselves that particular person does not worth our friendship. Perhaps we are like any other wounded beings, dislike people showing up and faking a smile on the face while telling us everything is as good as it used to be when it is not. Perhaps we just want to have a peace at mind, repressing the unpleasant emotions and thoughts, though it is just for the few minutes from our lives.

Missing Links

2009-12-06T19:44:00.003+08:00

There are times when we feel connected to somebody yet knowing the missing link in between is somehow impossible to be overcome, hence hoping to find out more, There are the moments where we are told the little detail or information in which may or may not surprise us, as we are pleased to find ourselves trustworthy enough to have the honour in connecting the missing links altogether. When the particular person or group interests us, we may wish to associate with them frequently, to be part of their world in terms of sharing emotions and if possible, to be involved in every event they’re in instead of knowing their life more through photos and words in the net or through letters. This may sound like an obsession but there are the points in life where some of us would feel such a way, depending on our status and cognitive state. It is natural not able to be completely involved in a person’s life, literally. Nevertheless, the little curiosity in us grows as we ask more and more questions, leading us to nowhere. We may never stop wondering why and in the same time, we can’t help but to feel lonely and helpless, even to the point where we need somebody to slap us awake and tell us to snap out of it. Perhaps it is when we are emotionally unstable that we wish to know more about what the others are up to in seek of the similarities and memories we once shared. Perhaps it is one of our very few methods to show how much we care and that the bond between us exists still though we may be miles apart. Perhaps it is our curiosity in nature to get hold of the missing links in between stories and photos just so we can form the entire picture in which we have missed. Perhaps we’re simply doing it for the fun of it in the name of social manner and to have the time slipping through our fingers even faster. Missing links are everywhere, but it is a decision to be made whether to search for it or leave it aside. Collecting and connecting the missing links can also be as meaningful or, as worse as intruding a person’s life against his will in which causes annoyance and affecting the strength of the bond in between.

Twinkling Darkness

2009-12-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

There was this night days ago, as we were staring into the dark with one or two stars trying to lit up the sky, it came across the mind how we often amazed by the twinkles during the night and rarely appreciate the beauty of darkness. Perhaps it carries the uncertainty and mystery that we have learned not to cross the borderline and seek for its other identity which we not know of. Perhaps we are simply afraid of the world where there is no element of light in which able to direct us. Perhaps we have heard far too many stories on how the darkness can take us to the bottomless pit where we would suffer and not wish to have lived, that we dare not take a step further than everyone else. If we put aside the particular stereotype towards darkest night, in which it does not necessarily mean harm all the time, then perhaps we may discover something new. If we are not overly dependent o the light which would shine through the darkness and see it through, then perhaps we will no longer define darkness as darkness. There are the town and cities which beautify their areas using various types of light in order to stand out when the sun retreats to the other side of the world. There are the people who make use of the lights and create different eye catching presentation for particular products to ensure their market price. Many have acquired the knowledge in judging how wonderful the little twinkles can be and make full use of its effect on people and on any other living organisms, nevertheless, only handful of beings who know how to be amazed by the beauty of darkness alone. Just once, maybe, when we put everything aside including all beliefs and perspectives then look at the darkness, we may learn what we may not have and perhaps for the very first time we may look at the art of Nature of such in a different way, amazed and thrilled by its beauty.

Roller Skating

2009-11-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

How often do we fall down as we grow older each passing day? We have learned to balance ourselves even at the falling edge, trying our very best not to make a fool out of ourselves by letting such incident taking place. We have learned not to fall easily as we were taught to do so and that it is a child’s right to fall, not us who have already gone beyond that particular borderline. Back in the older days as we were trying to walk on both our feet, we fell, we stood up and we tried again. For those who have hopped on a bicycle and started their journey few blocks away from home, we fell from our seats and got back on our feet with the family members cheering at the side. Sometimes with the tears rolling down the cheek, people from the surrounding comforted us and kept us going, up till today. However, what we are able to see now is less visible, for our expectation for consoling and comfort has been changed as time takes away the little innocence in us minute by minute, one incident after another. We stay strong to ensure our survival, we act tough to be what we have always wanted to be though there are the times when we are feeling weak and we hide our weaknesses by climbing over one obstacle and the ones which follow. We try not to fall to the point where we have forgotten how it actually feels like to be hurt, not in the sense of breaking away from relationships, but the actual fall which takes away what we have neglected after years of swimming in the red ocean. Until the very day where we fall down again and again, we will then recall the memories and pain which we have been through by experiencing the impact applies onto us, perhaps even to the point where we fail to acknowledge the pain and start tearing, not trying our might to overcome it, just like the older days.

Shooting Stars

2009-11-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

The first shooting star which came across my life was few years back during one of the relaxing camps we had with the juniors. It lasted for seconds but the image remains in the heart up till today, whereby it crossed the dark, leaving its traces among the stars, Beautiful as it has always known to be, it carries information which brings sorrow to particular people as well, for its fall represents the end of an influential person, the shining star which used to brighten up the sky in the absence of the source of light, where no other stars can compare with its might. We are told to make a wish whenever a shooting star shows up in sight, simply because such happening is rare enough that many take it as special and reckon whoever sees it as lucky. Stars are fascinating but they take away a person’s breath only when there is whole bunch of them instead of just one or two, unlike the fallen star in which is capable of doing so alone, with the little friction across the planet. Perhaps it is when we do not have the friction to fire up and work towards the wonderful life that we require many others in helping us to shine. Perhaps it is when we choose to associate with the particular elements such as strong will and determination that we are able to cut across the darkest night, leaving our traces in the hearts of many. Perhaps it is when we decided or just so happened to be facing our mistakes which have brought us down that we have an unique way to reflect the light source to areas in need, including our very own souls. At times we prefer to be the ordinary stars and not the shooting star, as its beauty can be seen once and only once as compared to the others. Nevertheless, we are the star itself and it is the matter of time that we will shine as bright as the shooting star, someday, somehow.

Orchestra

2009-11-12T11:31:00.001+08:00

Went through another firsthand experience just yesterday in KLCC at one of the MPO events playing the piece “In the Sea”; it was fascinating and certainly, breathtaking in a way. Orchestra has been giving the impression of “one instructs, others play along” and it seems to be slightly luxurious to be an entertainment, just like any of the movies and in anime; talk about stereotype. As the man raised his hands in the air and the music started echoing in the room, there was a form of sensation and somehow, we automatically had our eyes closed and so to enjoy the performance they were bringing to us. Perhaps it was just me that I tend to seek for one focus point and search the origin of one particular fragment played by the particular instrument when the eyes are wide opened. Perhaps it is just us that we simply want to find one perfect spot in which we are comfortable with, be it when we are conscious or shutting our visions away from the outside world by closing the eyes. For example, we would choose one focus point when we are to daydream and stare into the air doing nothing but we do not usually stare at some random stranger’s face and stone. If we ever do, I bet the person will be uncomfortable in return and wondering why. As we were enjoying the music and following the rhythm played, the waves of notes produced by the various instruments took us deep down to a different world whereby it is surrounded by water, divided into light and darkness. It was amazing, and still is, to actually feel the elements presented by the performers using their skills and teamwork; peace, mysterious and possible dangers. One instrument may be able to play a good piece of music, but with the combination of many other musical instruments, a greater art is produced in which able to steal our hearts and take our breaths away. Recalling the time when the frequency slowly dies away to the moment where every movement is stopped at instant, the heartbeat stopped for second and followed by applauses storming the area.

撕破脸

2009-11-09T20:24:00.001+08:00

礼貌上，即使心中抱有不满，我们也尽可能保持面部的笑容，直至超越固定的界限方出声表态。或许是先前所发生的某项事件让自己无法长久性的忍气吞声以实行所谓“君子能忍人所不能”之道。或许环境的改变所引起的评语早已在心中种下不耐烦之根源，进而学得回应某些不动听的言语。或许这无非是人生中的变换之一，“领悟”了分享所能给予的解脱与快感，甚至乎达到无恼一身轻的境界。近来时而回想过去的一切，让记忆的假象逐渐吞噬所有的思绪，只剩躯殻在这世尘间接受时间带来的洗礼。即使我们不与某些人物来个正面冲突，然而并不拒绝其中间接撕破脸的可能性。“局中者迷，旁观者清”此言确实有固定的可信度。在我们含沙射影，不断讽刺被锁定的目标时，双方之间其实早已筑起不满之桥梁。试问有谁能闻此火药味而装作不懂呢？当双方各持有自己对事态的见解且不肯相让之时，不欢而散的结局乃是家常便饭。也许过去有过去的美好，也许撕破脸会更有快感，也许是时候再次回到从前了。

Chain Mail

2009-10-25T23:21:00.002+08:00

Received some message the other day, the typical ‘bad luck would come upon you if you do no forward this’ type of chain mail. I removed the part in which relates to bad luck and forwarded it back to that person who sent it over; it seemed to be a must to do at that moment because the message was actually built on friendship. Surprisingly, or maybe not, the friend was thankful because the message is no longer a chain mail with dark curse. Sounded surprised and relieved in his replied message, he no longer has to be bounded by the bad luck chain. I am amazed by the number of people who actually forward chain mails as such, hoping that they can break the so called bad luck chain, or to be granted the luck in pursuing happiness, in the form of relationship especially. Perhaps it is simply the psychological ‘beliefs’ and ‘needs’, whereby one short message is more than enough in bringing a person high up in the sky or, down to the burning hell. Perhaps one does not have self confidence, in which he believes the messages received are good enough in destroying the empire he has built, be it on academic or social achievements. Perhaps it is merely the hope many have accounted for; hoping everything will be better by one click, hoping the unpleasant emotions and incidents would be erased simply by pressing the ‘send’ button, hoping to be bad-luck-proof. Nevertheless, one may tend to miss the point that, it isn’t that difficult in achieving something good, it isn’t that hard in pleasing ourselves and it is not impossible to eliminate the unpleasant. At times all we have to do is taking the steps required, even as simple as pressing a different button. Delete the message if we do not wish to be haunted by those insignificant chain mails as compared to the things we are to accomplish in life; look at the matter from a different angle, because the scenery may be even greater than we can ever imagined; last but not least, tell ourselves that we worth more than what people think we are. We are not required to be chained by idiotic messages like ‘you will be lonely forever if this is not passed on’, we are not born to be restricted by simple chain mail in which delivers bad luck as stated and, we are not here for the sake of sending the chain to someone else hoping to end it once and for all. You know what? All it takes is, we ourselves not forwarding it to anybody and that’s it, the chain has been broken. Even if we wish to share the meaningful content which comes along with the chain messages, remove them because most of the recipients may take them seriously. No joke.

The Minority

2009-10-18T00:12:00.000+08:00

Very often we define monsters as creatures with frightening appearances, or mostly refer to those who seem to be different from any other beings which we usually see. Perhaps we’ve gotten used to the fact, or probably the statement that we are the dominant species on Earth, well, at least we are from our point of view. Nonetheless, we’ve forgotten that there are still the many species exist out there, sharing the same planet as we do, the same universe as we are, or perhaps, of different universes too. We use the saying “majority wins” every now and then, but does that mean we have the right to ignore the minority? What’s our right to known the creature which does not share the common physical traits as we do a monster? What’s our right to call people who are different as abnormal? What’s our right to even label people according to our own preferences? The minority deserves to be heard. Perhaps it is about time to realize the fact that we may be the majority for now, but things change. The day will come when we’ll in turn be the minority. Not everyone has to do it our ways, and certainly, not everyone is born to please us at all time. We are all individuals, with the particular preferences and doings. If we ourselves do not like to be labeled as monsters or abnormal beings, what’s so different to those who are less dominant? We do make the decision on which path to take and which not to, but sometimes there are the choices which are not for us to make; say, the physical appearances. We are given the chances to act normal and live the normal life like everyone else, but that may not be what we’re comfortable with and desire most. We seek for comfort when we’re feeling insecure, but what about those who are less ‘fortunate’? Do they not deserve to be who they are? Do they deserve to be treated like aliens who do not share the same world as we do? Abnormality exists when we see ourselves as the top of the world, but do note that we may in turn be the abnormal ones from someone else’s view. It’s not wrong to be different, be it physical appearance or even sexual preference and it’s not right to refer ourselves as the dominant ones. Who knows one day the dominancy will no longer be ours, but to those who we currently label as the minority?

Children's Voices

2009-10-17T13:29:00.000+08:00

Have you ever the thought of ending your life at the age of 10, hoping the mother never gave birth to you? Have you ever wonder what your responsibility as a child is and hoping it’s not all about studies? Have you ever feel suffocated and trying hard to breath each day as you live? Our lifestyle has been improved as claimed, as we traded Mother Nature for more advanced technology and inventions. And as the requirements on comfortable lifestyle increases, a higher standard is then required in recruiting human resources, thus, the higher education level the better. This further leads to the pressure on both parents and children, where the parents don’t mind spending extra amount of money just so the kids can get into well-known educating buildings for a brighter future, and where the children’s responsibility then become study machine rather than enjoying their childhood before stepping into the real world in which more thoughts needed in every action and consideration. Very often we seek for the freedom to speak up our minds and thoughts, but how often do we consider in giving the children their right to share us theirs? There’s a reason to how a child may behave, be it in class or at home. Personally find it saddening when a child who does not complete his work is labeled as problematic, and labeling of such is then promoted to other children in the entire class, planting the impression of sitting with that particular child is a form of disgrace. How often do we go to the root of children’s mischievous behaviours? How often does it come across our mind that it may a sign of their disapproval on how we work things out for them? How often do we ask how they feel and what they want for the little few hours break after coming home from school at 4pm, with the homework piling up at one corner? Not all punishment works in disciplinary, but also the little reinforcement by rewarding them; not all children are as problematic as we think they are, but only when we’re willing to listen to what they’ve got to say about their lives. The concept of children not as stressful as adults may be wrong, at least, for the current society we’re in, it is no longer valid.

Single Idea for All

2009-10-16T12:53:00.003+08:00

There are many grey areas when it comes to almost everything which relate to human behaviour and development, personalities and thoughts, since it is rather subjective and it varies from one perspective to another. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why dozens of researches have been done over and over again, yet not able to settle down with just one theory instead. Perhaps we are just too complicated to be studied and to be categorized under particular section, as changes taking place every now and then, with the little improvement or evolution if that’s what we wish to call it. Perhaps it is simply part of the curiosity and desire to know it all which drives us to achieve what we’ve already achieved in the current days, and wish for further achievement as the time goes. Some of us believe the results obtained in experiments are able to improve our lifestyles once we get hold of the information needed on how the world actually works; some on the other hand, find theories not as important as we think they are as practices and experiences are all we need to strike for a better life; some focus only on numbers because it is what everyone uses in daily life, regardless the education level or culture. Personally find it unlikely to have only 12 different types of people who exist in this world as the zodiac signs and horoscopes stated. Perhaps it simply eases people who are lost and not know who they are. Perhaps it functions as one kind of mental support by giving daily prophecy to those who believe in it and actually make it happen through actions without them consciously knowing. Similarly, one theory may not apply to all situations occurred because third variables do exist, does not matter we like it or not, and adaptation takes place in order to favour our situation at times.

Action Reaction

2009-10-10T12:38:00.001+08:00

When force is applied, there will be the motion. When there is motivation, there will be action and improvement. Chemistry between inorganic is fixed, but not necessarily the chemistry between people. Perhaps this includes the decision we make, or maybe not. Nonetheless, action and reaction coexist, or perhaps we should say, they are linked to one and another. In other words, they are the chain reaction, in a way. How often do we hear people make fun of the freshmen under the name of revenge during orientation simply because the seniors did the same to them? How often do we see individuals take their friends as punching bags in a very unacceptable manner on the name of friendship when they find no where else to release their anger? We hold responsibilities on the actions taken and the thoughts which come across our minds, including the verbal expressions we make. Perhaps it is time we learn how to accept the upcoming circumstances due to the path chosen, to know when and how to put a stop to an act which we ourselves dislike and teach ourselves the fact that not everyone has to go through the experiences like we did, be they pleasant or not. Why do we even see the innocence as reason to our loss and failure when he is not? Why do we need to take it out on somebody and so he knows how we actually feel? We can figure a different way in easing our pain and heartache, because there will always be a different solution apart from our current ones, that is if we’re willing to open our hearts for more options. The chain is there; even one insignificant move will trigger the fire button, hence, the outcome.

Crowning

2009-10-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

We know the saying that everyone is beautiful in his own ways, regardless male or female. There are different definitions for such wonderful word, from inside out of a particular person. Looking at the beauty pageants on the screen as they move their bodies along with the rhythm being played, to outstand the crowd seems to be harder than people can ever imagined; how pity. The intention of entering hall of fame leads them not only to the world where gossips never end especially when one is at the top of the list, also the little self destruction in a way. Since when it has become a must to possess all ‘necessary’ skills in order to own that particular crown I wonder, from dancing to hosting a show, even the height matters. The old man says it is rather idiotic to be there just to let people make fun of them before they are to be crowned, if they can make it to the top that is. What’s the purpose of having a beauty contest in the first place really? To compete with others on how beautiful we are both inside out? Then again, how are they supposed to measure the inner beauty during a contest simply by asking questions? Indeed there are certain skills required when it comes to speaking and interacting with people, but still, answering one question would simply leave them the first impression instead of having them to understand us. Some people may see such crowning as the dream of all dreams, but it doesn’t really matter as compared to the crowning by people we love and care for; because they know us better and able to see the beauty hidden in us. We have the skills people may or may not possess and we have the insight others may or may not able to see. Appreciating our own abilities is the hardest of all, but doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be. Crowning is the most precious experience when it is given by the people who see us as dearest, and when we see them as one too. Beauty is subjective, but personally, we are beautiful when we are one.

Yes or No

2009-10-05T12:06:00.003+08:00

Came across this topic during the conversation with a friend just the other day; making decision. What’s more to say? We are required to choose from time to time, to decide on the next move as we play the game of life and often come to a point where we are in dilemma, not knowing what to do next. I was told that most of the decisions I made were as simple as ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Come to think of it, isn’t that the way? Even if we are to choose in between two options, all we have to do is to say ‘yes’ to one and ‘no’ to another. Worse come to worst, we’ll just take the non-taken path as back up plan. Perhaps many would argue that it is to easier to say than to be done. Yes, we may have different considerations on the options presented in sight; nevertheless, after filtering the thoughts and concern, comparing the pros and cons, we would still come down to the one and only decision available, which is taking the best choice given and ignore the others. If we find this too easy and simple, then think again, why must we make things complicated when we can choose not to? Complicating the situations doesn’t help a person to be better in making decision, nor making him more mature looking and wise. On the contrary, it makes things worse, when we have too much thinking in our heads especially.

Equalizing & Harmonizing

2009-09-30T19:42:00.000+08:00

Perhaps this applies to particular groups only or those who have yet to undergo certain training. Some of us enjoy going karaoke, as we get to sing our hearts out and more so, to relax a little after work. We have a different way in singing and expressing ourselves, not to mention the differences in pitching and keys. Nevertheless, have we ever come across the time when we tend to change our key in order to ‘cope’ with the other friends who are singing along? Say, a friend starts off with a rather high-key and so the others follow, even though they would usually go for the lower-key. We equalize our pitching as the people around sing, sometimes. And similar cases do happen in our lives other than singing. How often do we tend to seek for opinions even when we already have something in mind on which decision to make? Yet, how often do we find ourselves even more confused and lost after hearing them out? At times we know what to do but not sure what the others would feel about it and so we ask, and when we do ask, we hesitate as we find our resolution to be slightly different from others, hence, the little change of plan; majority wins. Looking on the other side of singing, we have two or more individuals with different pitching come together as one and produce a great piece of music; in which usually known as, harmonizing. Putting such concept into real life situations; we can always take little information and experiences here and there, then compile them altogether for a better view on solving particular problems. Copy and paste is never a good way in making decisions because even though the problems may appear to be the same, doesn’t mean there’s only one way in fixing it. We may seek for opinions from the third party, with conditions; to clearly know our stand and not get all mixed up simply by listening to other voices. We take other perspectives into consideration, not changing ours just so to be the same; harmonize instead of equalizing.

潇洒

2009-09-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

多少人诉说多少人因感情问题而导致自己情绪化，从而失落，觉得自己在世上已无人所疼惜。或许这不过是人生中的过程之一，然而也并非我们固定所要走的路。不能解决的问题本身就不是一道问题，也有问题无须我们伤透脑筋思索如何去解决，只需给它少许时间，问题也就自然而然的消失。不同的经历助我们于不同的领域或成长，随着脑部的发展，造就了我们的处事态度及人生观。学会放手和面对失去是必然，亦非一朝一夕所能达到的事项。得以控制情绪者并不同于失去情感，也不代表自己是一般的机械；足以潇洒放下并不意味着冷漠，只因它不过是减少痛楚的一步棋。“敢爱敢恨”，“拿得起，放得下”等词句何尝不是在告诉我们如何对自己好？不懂得珍惜我们的存在的人，相同的，我们也无需为他们付出过多的情感。失去是我们有朝一日必尝的痛苦，管它是精神粮食或寄托，当我们学会不过于依靠，或许，也是时候学习如何潇洒过生活了。艰难的使命不是不可能，而是在于自己本身的意志力。时间到了，不断的充电向前进吧！让我们一同潇洒积极面对人生。

Voices & Sounds

2009-09-24T16:47:00.000+08:00

When we are emotionally down, nothing seems to be able to cheer us up anymore, does not matter how often we tell ourselves it is just a piece of cake or how often we say we have everything under control, including our emotions and thoughts. A friend once told it is close to impossible to lift up the spirit when we are down in the dumps, until we finally settle down and get over with our emotion flow. Voices in our heads take charge from time to time; when we’re choosing between two, when we’re left alone in the dark and even when we’re feeling depress over a great loss. And when that moment comes, comments from the third parties will more or less be ignored, because they don’t understand how we feel. Why? As simple as the fact that they are not who we are, or that they have not been through whatever we are going through. Comment comes in the forms of ideas, opinions and perspectives, but as to certain group of people, never it is entirely extracted from experiences, hence the ad hominen argument. A type of material fallacy it is, whereby an argument is replied by attacking that particular person’s characteristics or belief. Knowing a situation and understanding it are two different things, holding onto our stand and counter attacking are two distinct elements, listening and accepting opinions are definitely separated from each other. We know but it doesn’t mean we understand; we hold onto our belief but it doesn’t mean we counter attack any statements which are to be made; we listen but it doesn’t mean we accept the perspectives of third parties. Our original thoughts and strong will may not last us to the very end, as the sound in our heads rings and voices from our surroundings arises, putting us through confusion and doubts. Nevertheless, when we are to sit down and carefully select which belief we are to hold close to our hearts, in the meanwhile open up to many more voices outside, we may just find our way out of misery. “Science fiction leads science”, as quoted from psychology lecturer. Similarly, perspective leads humanity, depends on how we look at it. Faith may be fading off, but we can still get it back on, just like how we stand up once again after each fall.

Possession Hierarchy

2009-09-19T22:37:00.001+08:00

At times we notice how people do not like to have the same possession as many others, especially during certain occasions which may be the highlights of their lives; prom for instance. Preparation is crucial, as time is needed in hunting the unique outfit and so we wouldn’t bump into a different person who is wearing the same design as we are, hence the awkward moment. Personally have been through situations where a friend chose to order a different dish when he found out that the other friend was interested in the same dish as well, an acquaintance came complaining about some stranger wearing the same design as she was, though they are of different colours and another friend jokingly said, “How can he has the same car as mine?” Perhaps it is due to the reason that each and everyone of us wants and wishes to be unique, thus when there’s something in common in the form of dressing style or whatsoever between us and the third party, the built-in alarm automatically kicks in, telling us that we will soon be compared to a total stranger, in which we would usually say no to. Comparison is commonly practised during the interaction between individuals, and many find it essential in upgrading ourselves for the better, in which what we would call the competition in the current society. It is more or less like the hierarchy system, where by we would narrow down the listed items into few different categories judging from the general appearances to their particular functions; similarly, when the possessions are about the same, we would then further comparing their brand, price, place we purchased and the list goes on. Among university students, the tendency of comparing the number of assignments and word limitation is high and at highway, there are the people who modify their cars inside out as to show the difference. The thing is, unless we have our personal designers who will be in charged of our belongings and appearance from head to toe, not to mention they must have a total different concept towards life and who often think out of the box creating something new, otherwise, there will be the chances that we possess common items the others do.

Click

2009-09-14T18:30:00.001+08:00

Some of us spend most of our time wondering where we belong, from society stand up to circle of friends involved. As we move from one section of life to another, we encounter various types of people, and as we try adapting to the new environments in which we caught ourselves in, we interact, communicate and bond with the individuals who we can barely recognize their faces. It is funny to see how the original group we're attached to in the first place turns out to be a different one at the very end of the day. Perhaps that is something similar to dipole moment in chemistry, where the temporary bond is formed between two as the opposite charges attract. For cases applying to human beings, such process continues even after we've established a perfect bonding with the parties around. There are different factors which are able to pull several individuals together as one and certainly, deviation does occur as the perspectives may vary; it might be due to the survival needs within a society, the curiosity and desires to understand each other better or perhaps, even the similarities and differences in various areas. Most of us would seek for the common interest as it plays a significant role in shortening the distance in between, some of us would take the chances in approaching an individual who is the total opposite of who we can be and at times we would just go with the flow, attach and detach ourselves from party to party according to the situation and the compatibility to click on. There is one interesting thought; the 'temporary forever' symptoms are shown when we get too attached to one particular group of people or even a person, as long as the time permits that is, and what do we do when it comes to a point in life where we must go on to a separate path? We move on, bringing only the ability to click with them again in the future as we reunite, hopefully.

长篇：开心记事簿

2009-09-13T21:20:00.006+08:00

将头发束起，他们带着背囊往山的另一头迈步前进。随着时间的流失，原先的一人旅途在路上与有缘相遇人士交流下，经已演变成今天的团体。一伙儿的目的地并非一致，然而却没改变他们结伴上路的念头，直至来到分道扬镳的路口，后分离。天下无不散之筵席，亦无不续之喜筵。唯有重逢，方能再续前缘；唯有谅解，方能放下心头包袱；唯有如此，方能继续向前迈进。

人生中有数个十年，里头带有上万个抉择待他们取决，而每一个思绪、每一个决定皆能影响往后的日子。因而如此，途中更是路障重重，友情更得饱受考验，只因每一次的分离意味着无限期的再见。一路以来，他尝试学会珍惜；珍惜身边的陪伴，珍惜欢笑的瞬间，珍惜所有的一切，甚至乎把能让自己会心一笑的人事物记录下来，好让他日后慢慢回味幸福的滋味，即使那是不被常人看入眼里的小动作亦是如此。

取自于他的小小开心记事簿：

“她对我的了解超乎我的所知；在她说中自己心里一番话的刹那间，有股热量涌上心头，只差没将她拥入怀里感激她一路以来的支持与谅解。”

朋友的定义因人而异，然而如此，每当有人能够叙说自己心中的那番话语，就足以取下肩上的重负，深觉世上果真有知己的存在，即使那人未能常期相伴，即使那人无时不忙于手头上的事物。只要在适当的时机说上适当的词句，一切难题都能迎刃而解；只要知道自己身边不乏支持者，再棘手的烦恼亦能被推翻；只因精神粮食的提神效力往往不输于普通的咖啡因。

日常遭受忽视的援手在一人急需救助的时候将能发挥最大的效应，如簿中一载：

“与友人有约，却临时无交通工具助自己行走。多亏身边的他不介意载送自己前往目的地，方能准时赴约。回头想想，他在身边担任听众一席已有一段日子，好比哥哥般照护，心中真是对他感到亏欠及感恩。”

如教师所言，人总是活在自己的世界当中，任四周的人事物围绕着自己旋转，直至那么的一天与他们相碰擦出一定的火花，方知自己并非想象中的孤单，而那所谓的火花源至于不同的因素；上至友情，下至一面之情，当中包括随缘的一臂之力。

要一个人运用自己的常识以协助某人须有一定的无私，而此景更是难得。簿中有记一事：

“看着他认真的神情助我改写程式上的排列，非但不介意我提出诸多要求，甚至乎忘食，让我感激不尽，带有歉意。当整个过程完工后，九个小时早已流水般消逝。”

由知识转至常识，再由常识变至生活中的一部分，其中需要一定的能耐与坚持，因此所有的知识并不一致，每一个人也拥有不同的常识。当一人不限制使用自己的所知，在众人心中更是留下深刻印象，足以带走所谓的人情，种下不同的根，待不同的果。

回神，他望向前方，一队人马早已停步，等待他回归队伍再继续他们的旅程。手搭在其中二人的肩膀，他连走带跳的将原先的思绪留下，笑盈盈的与同伴们出发走向未来，不时提醒自己珍惜每一个际遇、每一个微笑，好让怀中那本开心记事簿载有无数不同种类的幸福与喜悦。

Poem: Sound

2009-09-13T14:44:00.007+08:00

Sound is of vibration,

creating musics, creating tones,

and little did we know,

it creates dreams and illusions,

where we explore and hunt for adventure,

as we fall and wake up from the sudden stroke.

Sound is of voices,

creating visions, creating goals.

And little did we find,

it creates confusion and insecurity,

where we go round and round the options given,

as we lose our heads and end up in the middle of nowhere.

Sound is of ideas,

creating individuals , creating perspectives,

and little did we see,

it creates disagreements and wars,

where we hold on to our stand and argue with dignity,

as we overcome dozens of obstacles and come to the ending point.

We dream, we confuse and we disagree,

as the voices in our heads ring,

but little did we realise,

it is all good to expect the best to come,

than to think of the worst case scenarios,

even when we are left alone by our own.

Taken over by illusions, insecurity and wars,

as the voices around us arise,

but little did we notice,

it is alright to have ourselves going through such stages,

than not experiencing anything at all,

and not know how a decision is made when an incident takes place.

When we can imagine tones of unbearable suffers and loss,

we can recall the sweet old memories rewarded to us by life.

When we are able to start a war between two,

we can put everything to rest without having to fight at all.

When we can open our ears to endless manipulating voices,

we can suppress the negative and unnecessary sound available to us.

Dreams as Excuses

2009-09-11T11:07:00.001+08:00

Do you remember how we used to write about dreams back in primary school, starting from a very unusual day and incidents to the very common sentence which ends the ridiculous piece of essay saying “it was just a dream”? We are allowed to use our imagination to go wild, we’re asked to impress the marker by bringing them into our world and we have no limitations at all unless we forget to note that it was merely a dream. Even in the dream itself, some may have control over their own actions, making themselves fly high for instance, knocking down each and every single monster in sight as they know it is a dream, where they can even edit it as they wish, bringing in more people who they’re familiar with to join the forces. Some of us see dream as a place where stress does not exist, some find it too good to be true at times, some take it as a task which is soon to be achieved and some, simply see dream as dream. Nevertheless, we use dream as an excuse to a certain degree at times, for we know it is merely a dream that we take no responsibility over what is happening in there in our minds, hence the little take over and make things happen in the dream the way we wanted it to be, in which we find it less likely to take place in reality. In short, we are the kings in our heads, in our dreams, where we do as we like and make decision as we please. Remembering the time when my teacher brought up the topic on dream, saying we should never alter the essay title given, as many have written it in the form of dream instead of logical real life situation. Why? It is simply easier to conclude the essay.

Up in Air

2009-09-06T16:49:00.002+08:00

Have you ever noticed how big difference between the handwriting on paper and on whiteboard is? Well, for those who are not in any professions which require them to write on vertical surface most of the time that is. As we were being trained to write at young age, we would always rest the side of our hand on the surface, for support purposes perhaps, for the sake of producing neater handwriting maybe, or probably, simple as making our lives easier. When it comes to a point in life where we are asked to write on vertical surface, we would somehow find it harder, as we’ve lost the support and hence, somehow, feeling insecure. Have you ever noticed how people tend to express their gratitude of being alive or after getting away from any unwanted injuries by kissing the ground the moment they got off from the car or plane? Over the past, Mother Earth Nature has somehow been transformed into a form of security in the hearts of many, for we’ve been living in her arms all this while, fulfilling our primary needs and explore the wonders as we wish. Down to Earth is an expression often used referring to those who are practical or humble, in this passage however, I wish to point out the fact that we are being tied down to Earth, depending on one’s personalities, that we seek for security most of the time, even the little acts are counted. Our heartbeat increases the moment we miss one step half way walking down the stairway, we rest the side of our hand on white board as we write and taken over by little paranoia when we find ourselves all alone, feeling being abandoned by the world that we care about most. The truth is, sometimes we really have to give everything a chance, even though it means we would be freaked out for our feet are not able to touch the ground, even though we would be left alone in certain situations which we have to face sooner or later and even though we are asked to put everything we’re familiar with aside before we’re able to take up the challenges ahead. There will be the time when we are supposed to be up in the air and not tied onto the ground, so why give away the opportunity which would give us a whole new perspecitve from a different angle when we can get hold of it and use it well?

Off The Pleasant Goes

2009-09-04T13:40:00.000+08:00

When we receive something pleasant, we record it down along with the images in our conscious mind; which could be a gift, a word spoken or even an action carried out. We remember better if we relate one particular piece of information to a pleasant picture or even by creating an off-colour joke out of it as it is able to entertain us and make us laugh. We sing better when we put in our feelings and when we put ourselves into the situations as the lyric goes, where the little scenarios will be put on the screen inside our heads as though the history repeats itself again. Perhaps it is the happiness we’ve gained in the past which makes us not willing to let go whatever we are supposed to, perhaps it is the sincerity of the people around that we refuse to finish off the snacks which they got it for us as souvenirs or even a gift and perhaps it is just us not want to forget the little memorable events they’ve put us through and that we’resomebodyin someone’s heart after all. It is somehow ironic to see how we’re supposed to not pile up the titbits for a long period of time to the point it expires, hence losing everything we’ve wanted to keep all this while and yet, it happens; similar to how we manage our lives sometimes, which we tend to hold onto every single little happy moments we’ve had until the very day we’re supposed to let go so that it would ease our pain, and yet we don’t. Guess I should finish off the chocolates in my room and the ones in the kitchen which the old man brought home from Giant.

Happiness Over Anger

2009-09-02T19:06:00.002+08:00

Most of us or maybe, some of us tend to have our happiness built on others’ sorrow and pain; even by seeing their angry faces, we may find it hilarious, at times. Movies with the little scenarios whereby the crucial body part of the male being kicked, with the audiences covering their mouths and the same organ as the character does, if there is any that is, as though they’re feeling the pain too, not forgetting the little giggling and laughter along the way. We have the funniest videos being uploaded to the web and put on the screen, which eventually attracts the attention of the crowd, hitting the targeted numbers of views, where the individuals will then nudge the people around and pass it on. It may be rude as we laugh, it might be inconsiderate as we imitate the same incidents which have already taken place and it would be taking more than just efforts to stop ourselves from hurting our stomachs due to over-exercising. Nevertheless, there would still be those who go up to a psychology student and say psychologists use what they’ve learned to earn a great deal of money by cheating the patients, and would simply get away from any further scolding with one simple sentence, “I’m just kidding.” It seems there’s a whole new definition on the word humor, a different way in creating a conversation between two or more; which is by teasing and criticizing, with the little insult and offend if necessary. Making the assumption that every one would see such jokes as jokes instead of offensive statements without considering the status and personalities of the listeners, the speakers thought they have everything under control when the fact is, they don’t. When they were being thrown the rotten tomatoes and eggs, then they realized how the meaning of one particular sentence actually differs from one individual to another. Still, there would be the people who tend to laugh at the angry faces and say, “You should really look into the mirror and see how funny your facial expression is.” It is frustrating when we’re telling them not to make assumption that one joke applies for all and the reply is, “I don’t make assumptions, I read signs.” Great, the sign on the angry faces is actually asking them to tell more insulting jokes, how smart.

Cracks & Foreign Particles

2009-08-31T12:08:00.005+08:00

How often do we go through dilemma on which to believe and which not to? When it revolves around one person who has once betrayed our trust and another who seems to be the messenger especially. A crack which forms in between the bond affects the strength of bonding, which eventually causes disbelief and doubts, hence the little annoyance and for worse, the end of one relationship. How often do we have the urge to ask the party involved yet holding ourselves back as it may causes embarrassment and endless questions which we might find it hard to answer? The deformation of the connection and relationship in between may be irreversible at times, until the day when we finally able to overcome the fear and step forward in order to seek for the answers, so that one of our many mysteries can be solved and so we know what to do next. It is somehow ironic, as we’ve chosen not to believe what a person has told, as the trust is no longer there, yet when it comes to a point in life, we on the other hand wish for the reverse in time, back to the moments where we have someone to rely on, someone for us to share our little stories with, for we are in doubts whether to count on the third party so much that it may even prevent us from seeing the real truth using our rationality and senses. When there is a crack, there will be a chance for the little foreign particles to get in, thus the bigger crack would be formed in between, and it is our decision whether to remove them to prevent further damage on one particular relationship, which may sometimes resulting damages on the other, between us and the third parties instead. We want to know the truth, but it comes in different versions as we have our very own definition and point of view regarding one particular matter, as we are living in our own world. Perhaps it is a test given, whether we are to rely on the trust which has been formed from the many hours being spent together or the temporary trust resulting from the momentary disbelief due to the broken promises. Perhaps it is just us, making choices over and over again, till the day we are lost, and found, someday.

Imaginary Friend

2009-08-30T22:50:00.003+08:00

For children at young age, there may be the slight possibility that they will have their very own imaginary friend, well, depends on the environment they’re in and personalities of course. Anyhow, this particular friend who exists in their heads may somehow be the reflection of their own, showing the sign of loneliness and desperate. Nevertheless, having imaginary friend is not children’s right to have, but also the adults; as we know, there are indeed people who talk to themselves, sometimes. To convey a message perhaps, there are those who would start mumbling on the spot as though they’re in a conversation with their subconscious, be it without knowing or simply an expression for the third party to take note of. To convince themselves perhaps, people ask questions over and over again, with their very own shadows, hoping to obtain the answers, when the rest of the world would simply be staring at them, wondering what’s going on in their heads. It is all in the mind perhaps, that we choose to ignore an issue by creating a similar situation where everything no longer fits in, or that we face the problems by telling ourselves there’s a need to express them and hence, the little conversation with another ‘us’ within us in front of the others and, us. Indeed we are not supposed to discriminate those who have imaginary friends or perhaps, another version of them in the subconscious, however, sometimes it’s plain irritating and even freaky when it is on purpose for the sake of attention and everything else that we can think of. As requested, my pappa's imaginary friend is an invisible pink unicorn locked in a taped brown box. XD

Victimization

2009-08-27T17:54:00.003+08:00

We sometimes see ourselves as victims in certain occasions, to show that we’re not the ones at fault, hoping to hear sentences like, “oh my, seriously?” with the little things-happen-smile on the face, we would say, “It’s nothing really, I’m all over it.” In class, we may have people who often find teachers being prejudiced, hence the bad academic performances and there are those at work who see the boss simply not open-minded enough to accept what they have in mind for the company’s brighter future. Even in a relationship itself, who’s the one being dumped seems to be a very big issue, where the person who has made the decision of such is somehow equal to superior. Certainly, there will also be the parties who would declare themselves as victims, thanks to the ‘intrusion’ of another person who coexists or whatsoever reasons there may be. Reasons for doing so; people would know how much we’ve been through, or that we needed someone to provide psychological support and probably, simply for the sake of getting sympathy. Very often, we see comments such as “What happen?” “Are you alright?” whenever a person’s status has been changed from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’, showing their concern perhaps, that particular person would be treated in a way as though he is the person being dumped who needs consolation right away. Nevertheless, I don’t suppose anyone would go, “Oh, it’s nothing, I dumped her anyway,” now would it? Therefore, we see people who stop all questions from coming in further by saying, “things happen, let’s just move on,” or sometimes, not even notify the circles around until weeks or months later when the cat is finally out of the bag. Come to think of it, perhaps the way the circles react to such issues plays a significant role in the victimization we have in the current days. Well, things do happen and we do victimize ourselvse, from time to time.

Goals & Promises

2009-08-24T18:47:00.002+08:00

Here goes, we make promises every now and then, be it on purpose or without realizing we just did, be it the significant or the opposite. Certainly, there will be those who fulfill every single word they’ve chosen and those who take it less serious, as it may be part of the courtship ‘plans’. Anyhow, promises are easy to make but not necessary able to be carried out, depends on the individuals whether they’re willing to set their hearts for it, not to mention there may be a form of pressure, well, compared to a goal that is. We have people who make promises to themselves, as though they are setting a boundary to what they’ve got to do and what they shouldn’t be, thus complain to the circles around how much hard time they’ve had because of that. Setting a goal on the other hand is more motivating than making a promise, for it gives us directions and not boundaries. Moreover, keeping a promise is different from achieving a goal, where the latter will somehow be a form of achievement to that particular person. It sounds weird if we are to see keeping promises an achievement really. Well, it is up to the individual which would keep them motivated better, but if we find it tiring to keep our words, perhaps it is time for a change, to set ourselves an achievable goal rather than empty promises and likewise.

Mind Shapers

2009-08-23T14:13:00.001+08:00

Watched a video during tutorial regarding the persuasions in life, where there are 5 mind shapers which would be the brain frame, context, mind filter, social influence and belief; funny yet inspirational and true. That’s why they make sure the lights are reflected on the precious stones and the number 70% font size is bigger than the remaining 30% which we would be paying for. Since when piercing on the right ear represents homosexual and not the left? Since when it is a must to follow what most people would be doing anyway? Though we’re living in our own world with our very own definition towards life, there will be the time when each individual’s world collides, with the little universal psychological reaction and perhaps similar perspectives regarding certain situations or issues, in a way. For the past one week we’ve had a friend asking us why so serious during meals, unlike his university circle who would figure a way on how to make it fun by playing games; new influences, comparison and hence, the question. There were the hours when one is willing to stay up late in order to finish off the task so that there will be a smile on the face or perhaps, a favor can be returned, more or less. To see how influential and contagious an emotion can be, where the third parties would be aware of and start asking why, where that particular person would shake his head away and not answering them, where the atmosphere would somehow be affected and every one finds it hard to smile and be goofy like how they were moments ago. 5 factors to mind shaping and persuasion; how interesting.

Movie Ticket

2009-08-15T10:12:00.003+08:00

Been through certain incidents which left their trademarks deep within for the past 10 days; from defending myself against hundreds stares down at random street to marrying two males at one go with ridiculous decoration on the head, from having sleepover at a friend’s place without pillow talk but only the online novel and restaurant city to psychology lecturer telling us soft toys are allowed during lessons. Memories which some may record them down by keeping them in the heart or writing it somewhere noticeable, or perhaps the opposite, where some may simply keep the objects with the stated date as proof to such wonderful happening, movie tickets for instance. It is amazing to see how people tend to treasure one little piece of paper and have it with them 24/7 as though it is the lucky charm, well, that is until its magic runs out some day, where we would find the so called proof no longer available as the printing has faded, leaving nothing behind but the image we then created during flash back. We refresh our memories every now and then with every day’s incidents taken place, with the new appearances we’ve met and befriended. Feeling alienated we could be, when we see the unknowns commenting on the group of people we’re once closed with and still are, bringing back the times when the bonds are still strong enough to hold on. A different movie ticket takes over the previous one, until the writing fades away, one day.

Tears to Gain & Loss

2009-08-04T14:59:00.002+08:00

Though most of the time people would say that we shed tears only when we’re touched or simply because we care, I personally find it not entirely true. At times we cry not because of our love for a person, but for our own. How many have been through the situations where the tears are basically unstoppable when people start shouting and screaming right in our faces regarding some mistakes which are not ours who made in the first place? How many actually feel worthless and unappreciated when the so called lover or friend has betrayed our trust, where the sobbing continues knowing that we deserve better? How many have once lost in the middle of nowhere, loosing the focus on where we are heading and go through mental breakdown as we lose our confidence and self assurance? Have it ever come across our minds that it may not merely be the emotions for others which drive us to such, but the love over our loss? How many have been through the times when tears start flowing down as the sentences spoken keep ringing in our ears, telling us there is actually someone who knows us well exist on this planet? How many actually have the urge to hug the person right in front of us real tight where the little actions he took are so insignificant yet heart-warming? How many have once had the tears of joy as we know we’ve been forgiven when we know it is almost impossible? Have we ever thought it is simply because of us being thrilled, for we’ve gained what we’ve lost or something we’ve never thought we would possess? Perhaps it is a little pessimistic, whatever we wish to call it, but basically, we shed tears for our loss and gain, a sign of love for our very souls in a way instead of for others.

Expecting to Politics

2009-08-04T11:17:00.001+08:00

The old man once told, that politic is unavoidable or perhaps, a must within a country, an association or even a group. Though personally have absolute no idea how, it seems to be one of the very few best ways to stabilize the little nations, well, at least that’s what certain people find it to be. There were the questions why it is essential and how it is taken place even within a school which is supposed to be a place where the students enjoy their high school life instead of being involved in the so called politics. It is the expectation, he says; a person who expects himself to gain power, to have the knowledge and to feel how it is like to be ahead of many others. Perhaps even a little child would have the wildest dream to be achieved in such way, should it be less complicated, or maybe not. There are the explanations that they’re simply working towards their aims, be they to learn from the best for the better or simply, to get onto a certain level where they are inapproachable by those who do not come in peace. Perhaps it is the place we stand which would determine the level of politics being involved. Perhaps it is our desires for a better future which decides whose future would be disturbed. Perhaps we are not looking at the facts that we are somehow involved in political issues around us, in a way.

True Smile

2009-08-03T10:27:00.002+08:00

We smile, but it doesn’t mean we know how, as it may not be the one from the bottom of our hearts. How many of us would smile all we want, without giving a second thought to how the others might comment about us? How many would actually smile and not care about the fact that it may leave traces on our faces as time slipping through? How many would smile at some strangers passing by just to brighten up their day and not bother by the chances of others taking it as flirtatious? Read a book week ago, saying adults are the happier ones for they know how to solve their problems as time goes by and that the experiences and knowledge always come in handy, but personally find them less cheerful compared to many children who love and know how to smile. Certainly, it doesn’t mean everyone on Earth does not know how, but most of us. How often do we take smiling as a form of manners? How often do we not hide our feelings whenever we wish to smile? How often do we actually, truly smile? The answer lies in our hands, whether we would change for the brighter days or simply wonder why the others are smiling at us when there is the eye contact, like how we always would. There is no definition to a true smile really, because it is produced from the heart and not the mind.

Piano Piano

2009-07-23T13:49:00.002+08:00

Went out with the usual gang the other day; dinner, movie and hanging out together. During the free hours in between, we went to the piano section, where they have this never ending sale since forever. As the two friends moved their fingers across the wonderful instrument, I found peace, in a way that I never thought I would be, whenever it involves music especially. Feeling amazed and touched by the way they played, by the music notes they brought to live, echoing around the area, I couldn’t help but to close my eyes and enjoyed the performances they brought to the night. All memories from the past reoccurred, as though I was going through them altogether again. From the day we first met and played the part as Maria(s) in the Sound of Music, from the moments where we started to treat each other more than just friends, from the time when we began to stand by each other’s side for both the best and the worst, I know this is the moment where I find friendships in another circle, among the people I’ve shared my Form 6 life with. It is not compulsory for us to see each other 24/7 and it is not a must for us to be side by side at all times, simply because our hearts are connected, forming the little connection in between which will never be broken even if we are separated by the ocean. We’ve left for our future, moving onto a separate path for our further achievements and here I am, being emotional while reviewing the videos taken along with the background music being played, dedicating this post to all my Form 6 friends out there. We are not alone, for now and ever. Till the day we shall meet again, take care.

Stepping Stones

2009-07-23T12:48:00.002+08:00

Many of us refuse to be a stepping stone as we find it inappropriate in a way, worthless and inappreciative. Nevertheless, we do use stepping stone as we aim for our goals and achievements; a fact which cannot be denied. We are educated since young, be it formal or informal. As we grow, we move from one category to another, from kindergarten to primary, then secondary and the list goes on. Each time we sit for our major exams, we’re nervous and horrified waiting for our results to show, simply because they play a very important role in deciding our future, as told. Each time we surpass our capability and score in our papers, we’re being notified regarding the obstacles ahead in studies and that the previous academic achievement is nothing compared to the upcoming ones; hence, the saying of well achiever at young not necessary the well being in the old. The moment we step into the outside world, handing in our resume for a position in the company, they would first look at our latest academic achievement and not everything we have in our files, but without all the certificates from the past, we wouldn’t have the latest one which shows our highly achieved accomplishment. So, aren’t those the stepping stones of ours as we grow? We use stepping stones in academics, socializing and achievements, but to appreciate them or the other way round, it is up to each individual to decide, whether their pay is worth the price.

Holding On

2009-07-23T10:52:00.001+08:00

Have you ever come across the moments where people tend to come back to the same question over and over again even though it is less significant compared to many others? Personally have made such mistake in a forum, or perhaps I should say, the very first time I notice such behavior of mine, of people in general. Could it be our focus which is wrongly placed? Could it be our determination of getting our questions answered? Could it be our will to prove our assumptions and guesses right? Sometimes we need reminders in order to recall our main purpose of asking questions and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we need people to tell us how meaningless our questions are even if they are answered and sometimes we just ignore the fact that they really do and try to cover them up. Perhaps it is just us who decided to ask every single question so that we do not have to use our brain to figure out every single little detail on our own. Perhaps it is just us who wanted to know more about one particular person or task and not showing how much we do not know. Perhaps it is simply just us who wanted to show off with what we have known to those we hope and assume they don’t. Sometimes holding on to a question does not mean everything will be solved in a blink of an eye, neither does it mean people wouldn’t notice how much we want to know nor it actually matters, for sometimes we just got to let it go and be freed.

Balancing

2009-07-20T10:59:00.002+08:00

Went out for another drinking session just the other day and as always, we chatted and shared the little happenings taken place in our lives, with the boys talking about cars every now and then. That wasn’t the first time noticing how we tend to adjust ourselves according to the situation and the topics involved, to make sure we are on the same channel as others, with the similar experiences we’ve gone through or perhaps, sharing the better and more adventurous ones of ours. Probably with the intention of impressing others as we speak, to show how much we’ve been through compared to anyone else sitting on the same table, even though it may not be our very own experiences sometimes. Not to mention there are the moments where we wouldn’t mind bringing the others down to our levels by asking questions which may show how unadventurous and indifferent their experiences may be. Well, that’s just a fact which many deny. There’s a research shows, if everybody have their paycheck being raised up for 1% except for one person, his happiness would be reduced for about 33.33%. However, if that particular person has his own paycheck being raised for 1%, likewise, his happiness would be raised up for about 1% only. This shows how much we care for the others, on their achievements especially compared to ours. So, it wouldn’t be a surprise that we tend to balance ourselves as we move on from one topic to another, does not matter we are doing it for the sake of fitting in or to ensure that we are not easily surpass by the others. Oh well, just balancing.

Possible Desires

2009-07-19T12:37:00.002+08:00

Can’t remember exactly when, where and why it came across my mind, linking the energy law to our daily life. We are the consumers of all categories, for all categories related; we purchase, we possess and we disown items as we move towards our future. Recalling the time when I was still working and managed to sell off two gambling sets which were about RM800 added up in total, happily showing off to the old man, where the excitement and joy were then put to an end as he speaks, “If the customers are not interested in purchasing the items right from the beginning, do you possibly think that they would actually buy it from you?” Ouch. Guess it’s true. We do not create energy, but to transform it from one phase to another and similarly, we do not plant or create the intention of purchasing one particular item in others, but to transform their very own intention into a greater desire, so much that they couldn’t resist the temptation, hence putting that item under their possession. It’s about the same as doing a bigger damage onto a cracked surface, really. Even in a relationship itself, be it the friendship or partnership, we find all kinds of possible desire, does not matter whether it is beneficial to the bond or the opposite. We have the desire to own one particular person, we have the urge to tell a person off right in the face and we have the intention to put the relationship to one corner until we find it alright. We have ‘once broken, considered sold’ and likewise, we have ‘once done, considered done’. There may be a U-turn along the way to nowhere, but the time has gone and we’re still moving on, with the possible desires we have it with us all along.

Semi-Transparent Barriers Unseen

2009-07-15T22:35:00.003+08:00

People from the higher ranking have always been giving the impression of unapproachable, until the day when they actually come out from their room and interact with those who work behind the walls. It is somehow part of the rules where people from a different level are separated, or perhaps we should say, divided into groups with the particular barriers being set. Perhaps it is their ways of ensuring the well manners within the group, between the rankings. Perhaps it is simply the culture that we are to be reminded on the differences which exist. We are taught to respect the elders, though they may sound ridiculous from time to time, still, they will always be in the category which says they know it all, well, at least better than we do, as claimed. We are taught to watch our mouth especially when we are communicating with those who are in a higher level than we are, depending on the occasion we are in, be it the formal or informal. We are taught to respect and appreciate those who are here to help or to guide, even though it means they know lesser than we do, as it is the heart that counts. There is the invisible barrier which is meant to be semi-transparent exists, that we know when to behave ourselves and when to joke around judging from the situations we are in, especially when it comes to the interaction between people from different rankings in the society, club or family. We may have fun and we can be wild, nevertheless, we know when to stop and when to take things seriously, moving on.

源与静

2009-07-15T11:42:00.006+08:00

某些人把它当作是游戏，某些人把它看作是生命。

有人成天在幻想它的美与妙，有人不时批评它的复杂与文化。

部分人或许曾经经历它的沧桑，也曾经尝过所谓的甜在心头。

然而，这一切、一切总有它的源与静。

曾听人说，要实实在在的享受过程，就得掌控所须的技巧。

也有人说，这不过是短暂性的迷惑，等待我们去揭晓，后懊恼。

我们为了那不起眼的细节而伤神，为了少表达的言语而感伤。

不喜欢过分被保护的我们，亦不想要被忽略一旁，自己独自黯然。

不希望被看作手无搏鸡之力而不断设法证明自己的能力，我们忘了原先的过去。

曾经的誓不隐瞒情感总是那么的难以实行，最后剩下自己在旁胡思乱想。

以往的美好不足以掩盖如今的不欢，只因白纸上的黑点总是叫人难以忽视它的存在。

心中的不安之涟漪久久未能散去，直至边缘的一角，再回荡。

将它看作是人生必经之路也好，一小段插曲也好，它已经是我们的一部分。

如果我说我累了，我能够停下来歇息吗？还是是时候下站了？

Bitter Sweet

2009-07-14T23:24:00.002+08:00

Our tongue detects five basic taste components, which includes bitter and sweet. According to what we’ve learned back in primary, the region where we taste sweetness better is placed at the tip of our tongue whereas for the bitterness would be near the end of the tongue; though it is said there is no distinct regions for tasting different tastes later on, still, here goes. Wonder if it is how we are meant to be or perhaps it is our choice to look at it from a different angle, that we tend to go for the happiness instead of the opposite and that we like to taste something sweet compared to the bitter ones. How often do people ask which path we are to take on first; bitter or sweet? How often do we go for the bad news instead of the good ones? How often does it even come across our minds that we get to choose to go through the hard times before the leisure comes? Nevertheless, there are times when we fail to differentiate bitterness out of the sweet, as they come together in one package, or perhaps we should put it in such a way that there are times when we can find happiness out of sorrow and out of all disappointments as well. There are those who wonder what fun there can be inside a jungle, camping under the stars and throwing feast for all the blood sucking insects we can find in the woods. There are those who have been asking why obstacle is a must in life, with all the struggling and falling, trying hard to overcome it. There are those who are curious on how people tolerate with the bitterness in life, yet finding them memorable to be called the golden days. Guess that depends on whether we are looking from the inside out or the other way round, whether we taste bitterness out of the sweet or the opposite, whether we emphasize on the happiness taken place or the tears being shed in life.

Fire in The Eyes

2009-07-09T23:28:00.003+08:00

We have been emotional from time to time, be it anger, sorrow or happiness. With people showing up by our sides, sometimes we share our burdens and sometimes we don’t, but most of the time, we needed someone who is reliable enough to hold our backs and so we know we wouldn’t fall on our butts just like that even when the worst has taken over the world. Funny thing though, some of us would ask silly question like, “Are you angry?” when it is so obvious that the words “I’m pissed” are basically written on the forehead. Once heard several comments made based on a friend who tends to get emotional all the time and that he would drag everyone around him along into such bottomless pit whenever he does, which most of them find it inappropriate as he should shut himself away instead of behaving in such a way that the whole world goes down with him. Nevertheless, do we not realize that these are the consequences when we wanted to console people in the first place? It is similar to the case where one is trapped in the quicksand and a helping hand being offered would be taken in with no further hesitation, hence the potential of that particular person who wishes to help being dragged into the mess, putting his life in the front line, if and only if, the rescue mission is not being carried out in a proper manner. Indeed we would get tired of listening to dozens of stories containing the same old pessimistic ideas of life, but it is our choice to step into people’s life when they started showing the sign of low self-esteem and insecurity. We don’t interrupt when we know others do not wish to see us intruding their world, we don’t speak further when we see people showing no sign of taking our words and we certainly do not involve ourselves in counseling or whatsoever related if we know we cannot take it, sooner or later. Fire in our eyes does not help putting off the fire in the eyes of others, so what’s the point?

Not Anymore

2009-07-08T16:07:00.002+08:00

Due to the urge of hanging out with friends instead of staying at home rotting, several suggestions were being raised without considering the further preparation or circumstances, simply for the sake of saying something lame really. Certainly, such act brought in criticism or perhaps sarcasm for we do not think it through before voicing it out. I want to have picnic nearby waterfall, I want to enter the woods to refresh my mind, I want to hike all the way to the top of the mountains and I want to travel around before I get tied down by expectation in studies with all the test papers and quizzes. Unfortunately, people around are busy with their own problems and achievements which soon to be made. Guess that’s one of the many reasons why we find it hard to get ourselves someone who has the same interest with the extra hours to spare like we do. Couldn’t help it but to notice how things have grown apart as the time goes by and as we grow; we no longer start a topic which does not make sense in the first place, we do not put our ideas into actions as long as they are yet to be confirmed as beneficial and we have forgotten the time when our minds used to wander off elsewhere with the creativity and imagination. We are running out of time as claimed, we are competing with each other in order to gain knowledge and we are in the middle of nowhere as we speak with all the rules and boundaries, expectations and desires, competition and rationality. We were once carefree to speak as we wish and to plan our future as we desire, but not anymore.

Road Less Taken in Woods

2009-07-05T20:31:00.001+08:00

Went into the woods just yesterday, where dozen of inspirations kick in as we trekked and during the process, I recalled my first camp in Maxwell hill years ago. We were in the jungle, where the leaders each lead their own patrol, yet I went ahead of mine, jumping onto a gigantic stone as we marched forward and almost fell into the trees unknown at the bottom of our feet due to slippery. It feels good when we know we’re able to escape from life threatening situations, really. That was the time when my patrol leader told me the things which come across my mind least; a leader walks ahead of others to ensure they are on the right track at all times and so they wouldn’t get themselves into danger. Perhaps this is the reason why we tend to watch our feet when we’re following someone’s back, especially in the forest. Perhaps it is simply the unconscious mind which takes control of our actions when we’re the first among the group and that we tend to look at the surroundings more often, especially with people behind our backs who are part of our responsibilities, in a way. Be it in the past, present or future, there will always be the different paths lying ahead of us, in the woods, in the society and in life; roads not taken or the frequently visited paths. During the jungle trekking we’ve come across many paths where we had to choose in between on which road we’re to carry on with our journey, and for safety reasons, we took the road most people had traveled across. Similarly, that’s what most people do when it comes to their lives. Still, it doesn’t mean the roads less taken are not worthy enough for tryouts, sometimes.

Racing With Time

2009-06-30T16:26:00.003+08:00

During the obstacle course, we’ve seen them rushing the teammates, hoping to overcome all challenges ahead within the shortest time frame so that they’ll be able to win the game, not knowing how well the opponents did and hence, the little dissatisfaction along the way, raising their volume against those who are slightly slower. There was this saying that we have been racing with time in our entire lives, no idea how well we’re coping with the world and how good we actually are. Never once we thought of stopping by the road side and take a break from the rush hours, for we are feeling insecure and with the desire to win overwhelming us, we urge ourselves to carry on, even though we are thoroughly worn out. We may enjoy the moment of winning and we might have fun during the process, if we see it from a different angle as we overcoming our limits and try something new. Nevertheless, there are the little possibilities that we would go out of track along the way especially when we lose our heads, turning from hero to zero as we rush ourselves without seeing where we actually heading to.

Befriend

2009-06-30T14:50:00.003+08:00

Exchanging contact numbers has been a form of socializing skill in the current days, whenever we meet someone new who manages to capture our attention or perhaps a person who we can click on pretty well. Nevertheless, it is also known as one of the few must-dos in order to get closer to one particular person we’re interested in, somehow, and so there will be the higher potential in the days to come for a stronger bond to be formed. Well, at least that’s the first thing which would come in mind in general. Remembering the time when we bumped into a group of teenagers at the beach, a friend was self-introducing, looking straight into the girl’s eyes as if no one else matters in the world. That’s for one case. A question was being asked the other day, whether a friend would walk up to the couple who was accompanied by another friend for self introductory if he finds the girl pretty cute and fun to chat with. The answer was no. Why? Simply because the girl has already been taken. Perhaps this is part of the revolution as claimed, where certain people no longer find friendship as amusing as relationship and getting hot chicks, showing off in front of their mates on how many opposite genders they have in their friend list. Perhaps many have gone through the stages of losing close friends that they not wish to be involved in a relationship with people from the closed circles and would only befriend with those who are single and available. Do we exchange contacts simply for the sake of getting a potential soul mate? Not for all I suppose. Friendship may be developed into relationship but not all relationships would be able to take on the form of friendships. The truth is, sometimes we’ve got to remind ourselves which path we are to take on, whether we want to befriend with someone simply for the sake of getting involved in a whole new relationship or to go with the flow and see where it would lead us to in the days to come. What is the purpose of us meeting new people really? Friendship or relationship?

State of Mind

2009-06-29T14:55:00.002+08:00

Attended Eco Camp 116 in Dusun Eco Resort, where the participants are aged from 13 to 17 and there I’ve attended a very important lesson by one of the very few respectable seniors on the first day itself. Like many have known, there is an invisible boundary around us especially when it comes to our doings, in which is predetermined by the adults who bring us up, passing such knowledge from one generation to another until the day a person who would actually go across the boundaries and leave the trade mark in many souls. It is a box which traps us in, which we already have in mind that we are not allowed to go beyond the limitations, though some may not obey such rules and regulations at times. It has always been the mind and actions taken which matter, whether we would react before thinking it through or the other way round. When it comes to the challenges in life, we may hesitate, not knowing how to solve it as the choices given are limited, that is if, we dare not think out of the box and take the risk to step beyond the boundaries. Otherwise, the choice is ours to be made, and the escape route would be in sight. Here’s an example given. A beautiful young lady would be forced to marry a hideous old man if she picks up a black pebble instead of white from the sack given as her father owes him a sum of money; however, she has seen him putting in both black pebbles instead and there is no way she can say no in taking up the challenge. Is there any glimpse of hope in escaping from the fate to marry such despicable man? Remember, it is the state of mind which would give us strength and keep us going; think out of the box and take the risk.

iPod

2009-06-29T13:55:00.004+08:00

When we were on our way back from Redang just the other day, he put on his earphone and started listening to music. Looking at him, well, none of us have any idea what he is listening to, until he passed me one of the two speakers. Guess that’s that. We tend to seek for listeners throughout our lives and with them lending us their ears, we have a place to speak up and hence, releasing anger or any complaint we have in mind and perhaps sharing the happiness we’ve had. If we were to categorize the people on earth, there would be two in general; one is keeping everything to themselves and only hand over one of the two speakers when it is necessary or when they find the suitable listener whereas the other one is those who would plug in their iPod onto a general speaker, sharing everything they have in mind with everybody in sight, be it joy or sorrow. Frankly speaking, I find sharing the happenings around us pretty addictive in a way, does not matter whether our main purpose is to show off with our abilities or simply for the sake of telling them to someone we’re close with, nevertheless, sometimes we just couldn’t find the right person, even if we’ve tried to passed him one of the two speakers we have.

Circle

2009-06-25T22:13:00.005+08:00

Life is like a circle, where there is no beginning and no end. As we come across all kinds of incidents taken place, we learn from the experiences and we get to expand our circles of friends, meeting different people from different areas with different impression given. Even though it is the first day we get to know this particular person, doesn’t mean it is the first time we meet each other, for we may have bumped into him once as we walk on the street, not knowing who he really is until the day has finally come for us to meet for real. Even though it has been quite a while since we befriend with a person, doesn’t mean we know everything about him, as we may still be on the doorstep instead of the inner part of his heart. When is the beginning for one relationship and when the end would be, be it the friendship or partnership? Would the end simply means for real or it is only the beginning? Perhaps the beginning is simply leading us straight to the end or the other way round, perhaps it is a never-ending process where it would repeat itself over and over again as long as we live and perhaps it is our choice to make it the way we wanted it to be, if and only if we’re strong enough to hold on to our will. We never know. A circle can be formed from the same starting point and also a different one; hence, the beginning of one circle may be initiated from the ending of a different point and likewise, the end of a circle may be resulted from a different beginning.

When to Fail

2009-06-18T14:32:00.002+08:00

Went to French fine dining with a friend and his mates, experienced something new. In one of the conversations the lady mentioned about her friend who failed the exam in the last 30 seconds due to the smallest mistake, when everything was going smooth and well. Like what most people would say, “Ouch.” We do have a saying in which failure is the mother of success. Well, that is if we did not give up upon our hopes and skills obtained. It varies from one perspective to another really, as incidents taken place, whereby some may not be able to carry out the task given from the very beginning and those who failed to complete theirs when they are half way through or for worse, when they are this close to the finishing touch. Indeed, having to fail at start is depressing, for we do not get to put in any efforts at all; not able to put our skills to test, not able to work things out along the way and not able to see how it would end before it is even started, in the sense of being ended after a certain efforts put in that is. In the other case, we have those who were so close to the top tripped and fell, where we then have to start from the scratch all over again. Whining and nagging we might be, wishing us not have made that insignificant yet significant mistake in the first place, but what is done is done, and there goes another regret recorded. Having to fail is one of the very few must-face experiences in life; therefore, it is the learning experience that matters, better than not able to give it a try at all. In any cases, if I were given a choice of when to fail, close to the finishing touch would be the best, at least I know how far I can go and how well I do, and so when the similar opportunity shows I would show no hesitation.

The Distance

2009-06-10T15:19:00.003+08:00

It has been weeks since I stopped working, yet it feels like months after going out day and night with different groups of people, where incidents taken place; from seeing my dream of studying in the foreign land to facing the reality hence decided to pursue it years after, from wondering about the consequences after a decision being made to accepting the changes occurred. Remembering the expressions on their faces when I was bidding farewell, the distance in between is brought closer, where no words are needed when it comes to communicating and interacting with one and another. Inspired by an article regarding the distance between us the human beings, where the distance between our hearts is what that matters most, resemble how close we can be. When two persons are angry at each other, does not matter how much they try to come to an understanding, the distance in between would be way beyond their reach, hence the screaming and yelling in order to deliver their messages. On the contrary, when the two beings are in good relationship, the distance in between is greatly reduced, hence the whisperings. Here is one interesting part about the distance between us; that is, it changes all the time, according to the incidents taken place and words spoken. Basically, we hold the key to heart-to-heart communication, that is if, everything is in place.

Dreams & Reality

2009-05-31T12:02:00.003+08:00

Having the opportunity placed right in front of me, yet hesitation kicks in. Great. Being able to study abroad has always been a form of, achievement I shall say, in the eyes of the family, or perhaps, most of the people on Earth. Nevertheless, being accepted and acknowledged by the education council of a higher standard country is one thing, affording the living expenses and education fee is the other. Not all incidents take place according to our plans after all, and that is what we call life, making decision in between dreams and reality. Like what the old man once told, “There are times when we really have to face the upcoming obstacles by accepting the fact that we’re living in the reality where dreams come in only when the time is right and when we’re not trapped in quick sand.” What’s a dream and what is not? What’s the so called reality and life? We may choose to live our dreams, waiting for the day when it could turn into reality or we may be living in the reality, taking every event which has already taken place as though they are part of our dreams. The fact is, the education fee in NUS is cheaper compared to any private colleges which provide the same course here in the country, however, the difference in currency is what it matters most. Dreams or reality? Oh well.

Carrying Out Expectation

2009-05-23T08:00:00.000+08:00

How many times we are told to behave like our age? How often we are asked to make the appropriate decision? How far do we go in order to carry out the tasks given, hitting the expectations others have set for us in the same time? Although we are responsible for our own actions, we are somehow required to achieve a certain level, whereby those who look up to us would be pleased and satisfied. We may be expecting people to behave the way we do and likewise, they might expect us to do it their ways too, hence the complication, hesitation and confusion. How long has it been ever since the last time we had it our ways without considering what the people around us would say? Pretty long I guess. Personally have made several decisions in the recent days which would and have upset the people who care, and perhaps those who think they do. We always look forward to the days when our actions taken or voices raised would be acknowledged, in a way, without having us getting headaches and worried over the unnecessary yet necessary opinions of the third parties. It is our responsibility as claimed, that we should respect the perspectives of others and put their suggestions under consideration at all times. No harm done I suppose. Perhaps it is us who are to be blamed, as we seek for the opinions when there aren’t any and get frustrated when we actually receive dozens of feedbacks based on our decisions made. We get upset when the parents are upset as we’re too stubborn to change our mind, we feel disappointed when a friend is disappointed as our action taken is not our usual style and sometimes we’re surprised as the people around us are surprised over our doings when we thought they wouldn’t be but being supportive instead. Guess this is just the way it is, where we are supposed to carry out the expectation, which would somehow become a form of reputation to be upheld. That is if, we choose to be.

Smile Away

2009-05-23T07:47:00.000+08:00

Attended Eco Camp 115 as facilitator, where the participants are primary school students aged between 10 to 12 years old. Funny it seemed to be, as the slightest movements were able too give them a good laugh, hence hugging us and started to call us mom. Simple as us pretending not remember anything including our names, to making funky expressions along with exaggerated actions while teaching them games, songs and claps. Guess this is one of the reasons why many would like to travel in time back to the older days when we were still innocent and not know the word burden. Compared to the people around our age and above, smiling has somehow become a form of business, where we trade it with attention from others, hence attracting more customers as they feel welcomed and warm. We don’t find many things as funny as they used to be when we were much younger and we certainly do not laugh to a point where we would start rolling on the floor over the silliest action or expression shown. Perhaps it is due to the reason that we’re so obligated with the responsibilities we currently possess and the worries over our future achievements, that we not remember how nice it once felt when we get to have a good laugh, even if it costs us stomachache and tears of joy rolling down the cheeks. Yes we used to cry over the least significant incidents taken place and yes we would be running around screaming whenever we encounter the insects which are million times smaller than our size, nevertheless, the smile would always be there on our faces, as though the previous unwanted events have been erased from our memories, not leaving a trace, unlike us now, putting on the mask, not smiling anymore, from the bottom of our hearts.

Freedom, Money & Love

2009-05-14T08:33:00.003+08:00

Any job can be boring as hell the longer we work, or when we no longer find it as happening. Hence, feeling restricted to a certain level, where we find ourselves trapped within a particular area. It was a new friend found on the first day I started working who told, that he has lost his freedom the moment he decided to come here and there I replied saying he is getting paid for it. Come to think of it, we do not entirely lose our freedom as we work, but the flexibility we once had before we are being tied down to the current responsibility. Though we might be encountering a different stage of incidents and events, where we may find love and sometimes even hatred as well, still, it is okay. Recall the number of new friends we’ve found and the kindness they offer from time to time, when we are left alone in the shop and they show up asking whether we need anything as they are heading to the food store nearby, when they offer us the facility they have so that we can keep our drinks cold and all. Think of the colleague who is now a friend, giving us chocolate which contains 85% cacao so that we are able to try something new, sharing his knowledge based on shoes and that we wouldn’t get ourselves a lower quality pair. Next we have the supervisor who never complains even though we’ve been calling her every few hours whenever there’s the request on changing our working timetable, or when there’s something we do not understand when it comes to our job, who buys us the souvenirs and chocolates as she goes on a vacation to the island guarding by the eagle. The manager who doesn’t mind feeding us the toast she bought us as our hands are dirty half way arranging the stocks in the store, going off to the supermarket on the opposite to get us a bottle of mineral water as she notices us finishing ours. It is a form of love that can be found in the mall, around our working area, originated from the appreciation deep within the hearts or perhaps the word which often touches many souls, that is care.

特长篇：雪豹

2009-05-13T08:35:00.003+08:00

人类虽在智商一方比其他动物略高一等，然而却无法摆脱本是动物的天性，即使如今被称为人性亦是如此。曾经有那么的一则传说：在一个世人无法到达的地方住有一族人，他们于外表看来与普通人类没什么不一样。唯一一点不同的是，他们各代表着不同种类的动物，而所属的动物类群皆因内心而定。

那是他们祖先所留下的一句话：“当你们为维护自己的尊严与至亲，由内心散发出的保护欲将会达到最高点，外表也随而之进行突变，成为你们所代表的动物种类。”只可惜，由古至今能达到此境界的达玛族人屈指可数，其余的不过能短暂性的发威，朦胧中显示自己所属的动物类群。

在一个阳光普照的下午，一群天真活泼的小孩在一旁嬉戏。那是一种追踪游戏，扮演着侦探捕捉逃犯的一幕。在一声号令之下，全体跃起，爬上了屋顶。游戏正式开始。大人们如常地在一旁观看，继续手头上的工作，仿佛那是再正常不过的日常活动，而他们那敏捷的身躯加上惊人的速度在常人眼中不过是一团黑影在屋顶上闪过。

此时此刻，离达玛村口不远处的树下躺着一名青年。他一头乌黑的短发在阳光照耀下略带深蓝，更是衬托出他那雪白的肌肤，而看似熟睡的模样让人不禁觉得这世界是多么的美好与平静。一阵凉风掠过，唤醒了他。睁开双眼，他那浅蓝色的眼珠使人迷惑，尝试捉摸他的思绪却又怯步。他，就是让族人忌违三分的阳风。望着孩童们在村子里互动，阳风锐利的眼神流露出感伤与孤寂，可他倔强的个性叫他不易让自己的情绪冲昏脑袋，从而让外人所见。

尤记得那一夜，四周漆黑一片，唯有数颗星星高挂空中，点缀着神秘的宇宙。几团黑影在屋顶上跃过，紧跟着前方的男孩。男孩看着后尾的追兵慢慢向他逼近，使尽浑身力气继续向前冲刺，希望能将他们摆脱。自小长相比他人特出的他总是遭身边的同龄所欺，甚至将他当玩具般追赶。发丝随风飘逸打在他脸上，心中有上万个问题为什么，不明白为何他总是被欺负的那一位，不了解为什么他总得忍气吞声，进而让他们百般玩弄。这样下去，尊严何存？

想到这儿，他心中的烈火顿时燃起，身体在他奔跑的同时进行变化。他停下脚步等待敌人的到来。身在后头门的少年们不知自己惹怒了男孩，见到那双蓝眼在黑暗中闪耀着，误认为他已放弃逃命任由他们处置。他们一个接一个的停落在男孩所处的屋顶上头，兴奋的想结束当晚的游戏，然而惊觉男孩的眼神与往日有所不同，冷酷得让人不寒而栗。

微风吹过，没人敢走前一步，双方僵持不动。这时，遮盖着月亮的云朵移位了，温和的月光给黑漆漆的大地盖上微芒，后而伸展至男孩与少年们的那一带。那双蓝眼在月光下显得更是让人怯步，但是叫人更为惊讶的是，男孩已不再是男孩。一身雪白的毛发，乍看之下带有几分浅蓝，黑色斑点散布全身直至那条长长的尾巴，尖而有力的爪子似乎能随性的将肉体切半。呈现在少年们面前的他如今已被称为它，一头美得让人叹为观止的雪豹。

少年们望着眼前的猛兽，惊觉自己将惹祸上身，纷纷往各自的家园归去，暗誓不再玩弄该名男孩，留下那头雪豹在微微月光下为自己的突变感到自豪，却也不禁觉得失落，只因往后的日子将会变得孤寂，只因他已在多人心中种下恐惧，只因他突变一事不会就此被众人所忘。他，阳风将得学习如何克服日后的静寂。

阳风将自己拉回现实生活当中，以免过度沉迷于回忆里头而丧失自我。这时，达玛村里传出一阵骚动，似乎有什么状况出现。身为五大特员之首的阳风，尽管知道达玛村中所谓的重大事件不过是族人之间的不和或是一些不打紧的纠纷，然而职务所在，不得不飞奔回去查个究竟。回到达玛村里，只见多位村民在一旁交头接耳，说有人类出现在山谷之内，却不知她是如何来到这与世绝隔的村子，只知她来到这里的那瞬间，笑了一笑，似乎庆幸自己找到什么东西便失去意识，如今正在众多长老之一的家中接受治疗。

不言，阳风走进那间被众人所包围的小屋，想看看传闻中的人类与外表方面是否真的与达玛族人没什么区别。只见村民们口中的她被置放在一张小床上，而七位长老以及其余的四大特员们则站在一旁，商量该如何将她处置，只因世人本该不应知道达玛村的存在。瞄了瞄她苍白的脸孔，阳风加入他们之间的话题，此时正有一名长老表示人类亦有权力活命，不应将她弃之不顾，不如待她痊愈，删除她的记忆再送她回去自己所属的地方即可。

返到家中，阳风不断忆起先前该名女子的容貌，手握胸口，他希望所感觉到的一切不是真的。在七位长老投票后，他们决定实行迹藤长老的概念，毕竟人类与达玛族人一样都是属于这世界的一分子，可是阳风对他们所决定的一切感到不安，仿佛某些重大事件将会发生。

数日后，神秘女子恢复意识，出口的第一句便是请求长老们让她留在达玛村里，只因她对人类的私欲及斗争已感到厌倦，方舍命爬山涉海为求寻得传说中的达玛村庄一享与世无争的生活。眼见这名看似柔弱的女子以最诚恳的眼神说出这番话，甚至乎不惜下跪希望获得谅解，众长老皆已心软，答应让她留下。欣玫的眼里刹那间流露出喜悦，可看在阳风眼里却带有一丝难以理解的兴奋。

在达玛村民与欣玫相处的日子里发觉她善解人意及贴心的一面，不但是众人眼中的好听众，更是一位贤慧难得的女子，唯独阳风一人拒她远之，只因他仍解不开心中那莫名的感觉与不安。或许这是阳风自突变之夜后接受的特训以便成为特员之首所致，一再告诉他不应轻易相信外人，尤其是山谷以外的生物。望着远处她那棕色及腰的波浪式长发，大而有神且让人迷恋的凤眼，叫男人爱不释手的水蛇腰以及凹凸分明的魔鬼身材，阳风不禁想起迹藤长老告诉他的一句话：“凡是有生命者皆应得到他人给于的机会以证实自己的清与纯。无法释怀，既是无法见识他人的美。”然而，她的内在是否与外在的一般美呢？唯有时间的流失能给予解答。

紧握着被子，阳风满是痛苦的表情，全身血液仿如将要破脉而出，致使他紧锁双眉，额头布满汗珠。从床上跃起，结束了他的恶梦，只见自己处于一件简单却又精致的房内。太阳早已高挂空中，任由它的光芒散布大地，钻入阳风的房里，然而四周的一切却显得格外平静，毫无生气。一股不安涌上心头，促使阳风冲出屋外，暗许这一切都只是梦境，可惜却不如他所愿。

达玛村民们全都消失得无影无踪，仿佛早已人间蒸发，从不存在。凭着他们留下的气息，阳风冲出山谷，以寻真相。一路上他满脑子尽是最坏的情景，担心族人有何不测，遭他人所害，而幕后首脑既是她，欣玫。怒火中烧，阳风无法原谅那内心丑恶的女子，更无法原谅自己的大意。一心只想寻回族人，阳风双手变成白色爪子，只见一头雪豹在林中奔驰，越过万重山，跃过万条江，来到了一间由铁片盖成的厂子。

步入厂内，映入眼帘的尽是木箱。直觉加上嗅觉告诉它说族人就在那堆箱子围绕着的铁笼里等待救兵。阳风小心翼翼的往木箱走去，担心自己一个不慎便会跌入敌人预先所设的陷阱。一支针飞快地向它射去，却远不及阳风光速般的敏捷。轻轻一跃，雪豹跳上了木箱高处，只剩那支带有麻醉药的针头插在地上。它往麻醉针的来源望去，只见欣玫手持短枪，身后则有数名大汉等待听令。原来她寻找达玛村的最终目的是要捕捉传闻中能进行突变成为动物的达玛族人，以便能将他们送入研究室，揭开他们此异能的秘密，再将所得的最新科技转卖他人，从而得到金钱与权势。

想象族人接受检验面布痛苦的模样，阳风更是气在上头，因为他们并非什么试验白老鼠，而是与人类一样皆是有生命的动物。它不顾一切地向欣玫杀去，恨不得将她五马分尸。眼见她将被扑倒在地的那一刻，另有黑影从旁杀出，将阳风撞去一旁，导致箱子掉落，露出铁笼的一角。数名达玛孩童从中呼喊给予阳风支持，望它能把他们救出。

阳风猛摇了摇头，仿佛想将头上的那阵星圈摆脱。重新恢复正常视觉，惊觉先前的黑影并非任何一位欣玫的手下，而是最受达玛族人敬佩的迹藤长老。这是阳风一生中最难以接受的事实。曾是众人公认最为高尚且值得学习的大智慧家如今竟已被欣玫洗脑，丧失自我，成为她的傀儡之一。更叫人难以置信的是他竟然与外人连成一线，出卖自己的族人，知道阳风会因族人有难而前来打救，甚至进行突变，方出此下策，把达玛村全民上下捉去，再把已化成雪豹的阳风另行带走。

怒视着经已背叛族人的迹藤，阳风心中不禁呐喊："解！"厂内的一生一物象是被冻结，不得动弹，唯独阳风与铁笼里的达玛族人不受影响。爪子轻轻地在空中一划，围绕着铁龙的木箱全已破碎，而扣在笼子的锁头也被切半。达玛村民冲出笼外，各自飞奔归去。

“为了一个外人，你竟如此对待自己的族人。”那是阳风临走前留给迹藤的一句话，那么的平静道出，听在耳里却是那么的痛心，让人心中不禁一沉，感到冰冷且难以呼吸。阳风头也不回的往出口潇洒走去，那头雪豹如今已恢复人形，留下迹藤、欣玫及其余的手下动弹不得，直至离开这世界的那一刻方得解脱。

归纳于雪豹的类群在达玛族中被视为最高尚且罕有的一群，只因他们不屈不挠的精神及捍卫家园的意识极高，在必要的情况下将不惜斩断情根，六亲不认。续祖先的上一句：“尚若突变之后深感羞辱或不忿，你们将会释放自己的内在功能，简称为‘解’，而这所谓的‘解’则因动物类群而异，其威力也因自己的内心感受而有所改变。当你们丧失自我，迷失方向而走上不归路，突变的异能将会消失，进而被贬为凡人。然而，自己所属的动物类群将永存心中，时时刻刻提醒着自己的真实身份及过去所犯的错误。”

Thief

2009-05-12T08:18:00.003+08:00

A group of kids about the age of eight came into the shop and as they left, a lighter was found missing. It was an assumption that they were the ones who stole it. I wasn’t there. Weeks later, they showed up again, but this time, I caught them red handed, stealing the exact same item. Guess the assumption wasn’t merely an assumption after all, and surprisingly, one of the boys is the son of the staff next door. What a brilliant gift for Mother’s Day. It is understandable that children at this age tends to make mistakes in search of adventures and excitements, but it is unforgivable that they do not realise their mistakes in time and intend to do it again, in the exact same shop, targeting the exact same product on sale. Now how idiotic can that be? We would usually define stealing as taking a person’s belongings without permission but personally, there’s a whole new definition which should be added in as the society is way different from what it used to be. In the current days we have people who go lovey-dovey with all the opposite gender available, or perhaps I should say, all possible candidates who may just fall for the tricks they play and from there they have several options of who to choose, even if they are already in a stable relationship. Stealing the hearts is what we always call it, taking it as the temporary toy to play with instead of something to be appreciated. We have those who constantly reminding a person regarding the third party’s doings and how frustrating it can be at times, emphasizing on their so called better personalities on purpose, without having to make it obvious, not realising their such behaviour isn’t anywhere better at all. Stealing the crowd from the third party we may known it as, hoping it would stay on their sides instead. Thief or no thief, somehow it looks the same, at least for now it is.

Poem: In A Box

2009-05-12T08:12:00.002+08:00

Sitting on a chair,

there he stares at the outside world.

Two walls on the left and right,

where his vision is limited.

Having the front view changes from time to time,

his mind is allowed to run wild.

But with the certain happenings taken place,

he is trapped within his own emotions, overtaken.

Sometimes there will be the flow,

and the other times there will be not.

The eyes no longer shine like it used to be,

and the heart is feeling insecure.

Thinking out of the box there he tries,

to ensure that he sees from a different angle at all times,

to not be overwhelmed by the recent dissatisfaction,

and to not be the person he would never want to be, a pessimist.